What Helped Me Out in Financially Tough Times (Mindset)

I used to work gigs for income. There was a very long period of time when I wasn't getting any work at all. Money was tight. I would feel irritated anytime I had to go out and buy food. My reputation got ugly. I thought none of my friends liked me anymore. I created so much pain, hurt, frustration, self-pity anytime I went out. So I just couldn't even go out anymore. I had given up on my goals, I was binge eating tons of food. I was just watching Netflix to distract myself from the pain. I goddamn self quarantined myself months before this all happen. 

Shieeet. 

In a way I think I did feel a little helpless. I had been applying to countless different gigs consistently, but would never get booked. I had gotten a gig just before that, and saved up money so tightly I could afford the time. I just couldn't get myself to work anymore. I would keep applying online, but I was taking so much action truly believing no one would hire me.

I remember how far my efforts went to save money, and I knew I was in survival mode.

You ever have a time someone asks, how are you? and your gut reaction knows how fucked you feel, but you smile and say GREAT.

Yeah, that was my time lol. 

How did I get out of this? 

The world called me out on being a drama queen and my efforts to find work payed off. I had support. Other people had offered me opportunities to work. I think after countless rejected work applications, I finally got that acceptance I would've missed if I gave up. I think just like now we have people all around us that care. The government is helping us financially, there is a economic relief fund, I'll link below. And here's a link to many job opportunities in person and online that are safe during this virus. It took me a month of rejections to get to a yes. But I still got that yes. and I still had a time period when I had more and more yes'. 

I alsoooo got a little distracted ;) I was halfway commited to someone who was a great human being <3 but wasn't going to see me. When I finally let that go, I had attached all these negative feelings to love. But I finally met someone and we instantly clicked it was beautiful. I had linked up a life of pain pain pain and very little pleasure. But when I met X there was so much happiness and drive added to my life. Sadly I got ghosted, but it was still a gift because X had made me want to go out and have a life when I wasn't getting the love I wanted. Also, when he left my life I was craving love, so I went to friends again. I had gone back to attending events, being social, and enjoying life. 

So was it a boy that saved me? Is this like Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty? 

NAH THIS MAN left me on my birthday LMFAOOO

It was the universe sending a reminder into my life. To focus. 

To remember that there's so much more to life than just survival.

Because for the longest time that was all I thought of. Survival. I had forgot about what I was really about. I had forgotten all the good in life that was always there. I think when you get beyond survival you get little glimpses of what you're really here for. 

When your main focus in life is less about all the pains and hurts and obstacles on your path and just mere survival, things can get painted again in the most beautiful picture. 

And all that darkness you went through. All that pain. All that struggle. It kind of fades a little. 

It passes and the beauty of life begins to present itself even more to you. 

You experience life again in exhilarating, exciting, amazing ways. And you want to just celebrate how blessed life really is. 

Please contact me ANYTIME at [email protected] or @aceadia on snapchat or facebook.com/acea.huang or instagram.com/joyfullyfreesoul if you need anything. I'm here for you, and I am sending you so much love.