What do you want to be when you grow up?

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" is one of the most recurring questions we're asked during our childhood. Answers like “ballerina”, “football player”, “astronaut”, (or if you’re John Lennon- "happy") are not uncommon. As the years pass, our answers become more and more vague, and the excitement for what our futures hold fades away, until we reach early adulthood and suddenly have no clue what the answer is anymore.

In fact I believe this exact moment is one of the most haunting horrors of life; You wake up one day and realize you're all done with the "growing up" part, only to discover you don't know what you want to do. So what happened? When did we lose our passion and sense of adventure? Can we get it back?

Well, my answer depends on your definition. I don't necessarily believe everyone has one great passion that they must follow no matter what. But I do believe we're all passionate people at our core. We have a passion for the people around us, for ourselves, and for life itself. So why is it still so rare to do what we love?

There's no denying our education system contributes to this struggle greatly. While some of the lessons we learn during our school-years have an immense value, there are a few valuable lessons that get left behind. We are taught from a very young age to toss our dreams aside in favor of goals that are more "achievable" or "safe". With time, we stop following our dreams all-together, if those are considered too hard to succeed at. Then, by the time we go out to the world, most of us don't even believe in finding a job that we like.

In my case, I discovered my passion very early on. Even though I hated admitting it to others, I always knew I wanted to write and tell stories. I remember being 8 or 9 years old, sitting on the toilet seat, reading the princess diaries and feeling so excited when princess Mia found out her talent was writing, because I felt like we had that in common- we were both writers at heart. Much like Mia, I had the tendency to write everything down. For me, it was anything from small stuff I wanted to remember, to short stories and silly songs- it all had to be written down.

But eventually like many others, i've neglected my passion, encouraged to do so by every teacher who's ever yelled at me for daring to write in my noteboook during their class.

It wasn't until about a year ago, when i've found myself at a crossroads, that I decided to get back to it. After quitting my job to travel (until Covid sent me back home and straight into quarantine), I realized I wanted something more. I had finally reached the stage of life that I'd been waiting for since I was in preschool. I had the freedom and means to pursue my wildest dreams. If I wanted to, I could start writing again and actually put the work and effort into it. I wanted to be excited, I should have been excited- but something just didn't click.

Without a clear plan I felt a little lost at first, so I decided to start small. I bought myself a notebook (and then five more because i go through them like toilet paper), and started writing as much as I could. At first just songs and poems and then ideas and pieces of bigger things- if I thought it, then it had to be on paper. And soon enough I became excited again, almost like I never stopped.

Now I have to be honest- I'm still not sure what exactly i'm doing. But I'm glad I'm trying to figure it out, and I enjoy doing so. I truly believe taking the time to discover what makes your hearts sing and investing in it, is extremly important, if only to make life a little more worthwhile. As I mentioned at the beginning of the article, I don't think you need to have one clear passion to follow, But you should defintly start somewhere. Whether it's finding things that make you excited to do in your spare time, or your actual job, you should make the effort to enjoy your surrounding, and pursue the things that make your eyes sparkle whenever you talk of them.