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We're All Going To Learn Today... How 1 Resolution Can Change Everything

A detailed synopsis of what my scattered brain thinks about goals, the "year of broken dreams and forgotten diets" (2020), and tomorrow

By Francesca Crespo aka The Industry MommaPublished 3 years ago 7 min read
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We're All Going To Learn Today... How 1 Resolution Can Change Everything
Photo by Jan Antonin Kolar on Unsplash

Cheska, grab a pen, I'm gonna need you to transcribe a little memo in the hope that . In triplicate... 2020 was catastrophically boring, oxymoron or not, and I fear if we don't have some sort of plan in place, if we don't remember who we were before the COVID show, we may never find our way back!

I’ve always been my own worst everything.

My own worst critic, worst enemy, even my own worst influence. I’ve talked myself out of anything that could even potentially leave me vulnerable in any way whatsoever. A play that, initially, I thought both smart and safe. Unfortunately for me, the other side of that same coin just happens to include all the good things as well. All of the things that held the potential of bringing me joy, personal growth, and success.

Protection means nothing if nothing is ever truly risked.

It's because of this choice that I know all too well that nothing worth gaining will ever be simple or easy. I've become familiar with the fact that nothing worth achieving will ever come with perfectly landscaped roads, accompanying maps, and color coordinating street signs. No ma'am. As it turns out, life itself is much like our collective past year: You have to endure various amounts of turbulence if you've any chance of truly flying high.

That being said, I am happy to report that we've weathered the worst of this storm that they call "the year 2020", the year I'll choose to forever refer to as the "Year of broken dreams and forgotten diets" is over! 2020 and everything that it brought with it can now be nothing more than a blip in our hypothetical rearview should we chose to welcome the change in when we open the door to 2021.

Photo Credit: GoodHousekeeping.com

But Change is difficult

Not just difficult. Change is uncomfortable and weird and well, downright frightening. No matter how amazing the imagined outcome, the unknown is a scary place to dwell, nevermind navigate.

Perhaps that fact alone is responsible for my seemingly life-long sedentary preference. The reason that no matter how miserable my situation, I have always preferred to remain right there; Never willing to try a new or different way.

At least I already knew what this miserable looked and felt like. I knew how I was expected to act and to react in this world, around these people. And I knew where this path would ultimately lead me. I knew it so well, as a matter of fact, I soon began to feel all too comfy in the mediocre and at home in the mundane.

Photo credit: imgflip.com

Well, No More.

It’s a cowardly, deceivingly content way to live and I’ve grown so tired with the demands of the role I could scream. I’m sick of dreaming, I’ve got to do. The time has come to put the fear down and learn how to navigate through the unknown. To stop putting everything and everyone before me. To invent solutions, not excuses. The time has come for me to jump.

Now or Never

Either because 2020 kicked my ass so completely or because I’m simply running out of time, I’ve decided that 2021 is my year. Now all I have to do is figure out how I right the wrongs of the past, heal my soul, and present the (sure to be fabulous) new and improved me to the World!

By Jan Antonin Kolar on Unsplash

Begin at the very beginning, a very good place to start.

In this article in Virgin by Ian Usher, the key to obtaining any goal is broken down into 7 simple steps. Perfect for us busy, lost, overworked, and underpaid mommas out there. You know, the ones that, despite the grandest plan in the universe, STILL have only so much time and/or energy to dedicate to themselves.

Besides the simplicity of the 7 steps, I appreciate the number of them. For me, 5 seems a little lazy, whereas 10’s getting a bit crazy with it. And besides, I fall into the aforementioned group that always seem to be running around.

And so, without further ado, the magical life-changing-directions-to-happiness are as follows:

1. Put pen to paper

2. Set a timer

3. Get your mind right

4. Assess your abilities; *book learning may be required

5. Just do it- take the 1st step already

6. Don’t dare stop till you see the finish line

7. Pat yourself on the back

So simple yet so difficult for as far back as I can remember. Ironic that in an attempt to protect me I was simultaneously holding myself back from the possibility of fulfillment or real growth, huh?

Now it’s time for my list.

Tenor.com

What do I truly want for myself in 2021? A monumental question with an endless amount of answers… But Rome wasn’t built in a day, so I may need to begin as I believe all massive endeavors should: With baby steps.

In an attempt to gather up some self-confidence, I look back on 2016. That was the only year, the only time in my life ever, really, when I wanted something, took the steps necessary to achieve it, and succeeded. The only goal I've ever conquered. It was so monumental, in fact, that I wrote this article about it.

What did I do, you ask? Long story short I went from this:

242 pounds

To this:

137 pounds

And I did it in 7 months flat. If I could do that, then I can do just about anything, right?

Photo Credit: Tenor.com

My sentiments exactly.

After much thought, reflection, and consideration, it occurred to me that I have never performed at my peak when carrying a too-full plate, and let's be honest, I'm going in supporting an entire table already. So in the spirit of my no-doubt notorious "baby-steps", I have deduced that I need but 1 resolution for the upcoming year.

Understand my requirement for simplicity?

Although it's absolute in my case, keeping life as simple as possible can't hurt anyone, no matter the demands, variables. or situations of their lives. No, Keep It Simple Stupid is apropos here in many more ways than one.

With nothing but this (and my 34,869 task-long to-do list) on my mind, I committed my "me time" for that day and every day that followed, to this task and this task alone. Not an easy feat for a mother of many with ADD and OCD that is STILL TANDEM breastfeeding a 2 and 4-year-old, but hey, I was committed.

Photo Credit: verywellfamily.com

With tens of hundreds of resolutions, goals, needs, and wants all running through my head at once, it seemed an impossible task at first.

I want to have a perfect body. I want to feel good in my own skin. I want to stop doing everything for everyone all the time. I want respect. I want to finish school (again). I want to help my husband diet successfully. I want to be SuperMom. I want to cure my Sadie's ailments. I want unity in my family. I want to feel fulfilled... and so on and on and on.

There were simply too many to ever possibly narrow down to 1 that was the most important or the most urgent. I quickly felt overwhelmed and under-inspired, my negative thoughts, my screw-it speech coming to the surface when... I GOT IT!

In 2021 I will re-teach the World and everyone in it how to treat me!

Tenor.com

I firmly believe that we teach people how to treat us in a million different ways, all of the time.

  • If we are under-valued, it is most likely because we take too much on. And we've done it for so long now that those around us have come to expect it.
  • If we are in need of respect, we at some point, allowed whomever to disrespect us and get away with it.
  • If we are self-loathing..? Yep, we told ourselves one day that it was cool to think that we were somehow less than and then allowed it to become routine.

Are you with me? Picking up what I'm putting down?

I say no more! I demand more. More from others, more from myself, more from the World.

And I am taking the steps to ensure that in 2021, I will re-teach myself and everyone else that I deserve exactly what I WILL TEACH THEM TO GIVE ME!!!

Happy New Year, fellow writers, readers, and all!

happiness
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About the Creator

Francesca Crespo aka The Industry Momma

A (clearly) hilarious manic-depressive Momma of 7 with ADD, OCD, and WTF... Also, I write shit!

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