We Can Find Reasons to Be Happy and Grateful Every Day

Many people have told me all my life that I look like my mom when I laugh. I lost my cancer when I was sixteen, more than twenty years ago. I learned from him a lot of laughs and laughter, even in the most difficult of times. "It's a pleasure to choose," he always said.

Life has thrown a few curveballs on my way over the past five years and I tried to test my ability to choose happiness and laughter. My husband, Eric, and I had just started talking about having children when the first wild pitch came to us.

In early 2010, Eric was diagnosed with cancer. I remember how I refused to cry in front of him or in front of anyone really. I remember feeling very sad and scared and very angry. I also remember the first time we laughed after finding out.

We were sitting on our couch watching TV, something very funny came and we both laughed. I don't remember what it was. I just remember looking at him and feeling amazed.

I realized that it would be really important for us to keep laughing, and we did, often at times when many people thought we were nuts.

We laughed at the crazy noise Eric made when he was sick (to put it politely) after chemotherapy. We laughed as I sprayed her ostomy bag to make sure it was properly attached (the most dangerous method considering the potential out there.)

We laughed heartily when the nurse wrongly suggested that our sexual health might be better if she had surgery to end the ostomy.

Forward for a few years. Eric was healthy and we were ready to move on to starting a family. We knew there might be some problems, but it turned out that they were much worse than we thought. Cancer treatment had made Eric infertile and it turned out that I too had some problems.

We decided to try IVF with samples Eric had frozen before treatment and failed several times. Once again, we ended up laughing when a lot of people thought we were crazy.

We laughed when the transfer of my first fetus turned into a show of about six students (thanks to the teaching hospital).

We laughed when we found a box full of hormones and needles that would make some people faint.

We shed tears when a CVS employee asked me incorrectly if I was pregnant because he had seen me buy a lot of tests.

We decided after two rounds of IVF and one frozen fetal transfusion that we would not do any other contraceptives. We had talked about adoption before, and we both agreed that we wanted to be parents in this way.

We took a little time to research and discuss our options and finally agreed that open adoption is our way.

For almost a year to date and at an event that inspired me to write this post. We are “waiting” for the expectant mother to become a parent by adoption.

This is something that can take months or years. Every day we hope that this woman, whom we already love, will find us through our agency and want to place her child, whom we already love, with us.

We bought a different phone with our toll free number to make sure we didn't miss the call. Today, I heard a scream in my office and a million thoughts raced through my head right away. Could it be that this is him, after all, we have only been alive for a month, how should I respond, I will sound stupid…

I ran like the wind to my office and as I picked it up to answer, my husband jumped out from under my desk and shouted, "It's me!"

I was angry that she scared me to death. I would be angry if you hoped we got a "phone call" Instead, I chose happiness and laughed - so much!

Laughter kept us well informed and we went through some very difficult times. I am so thankful that my mother taught me to choose happiness and that I married my best friend who made this choice with me every day.

Yes, there have been sad, frightening, and angry moments, but we have always been able to find our way to happiness and hope, which will make “waiting” much easier.

Thank you so much for my husband's good health.

We are so grateful that we have the ability and the opportunity to be parents in this wonderful and loving way to build a family.

Thank you so much for choosing to be happy. We can’t wait to share our life, love, and laughter with our child and teach him to choose happiness.

As my mother encouraged me, I will now encourage all readers to find at least one minute during the day to focus on what you are grateful for.

Taking these moments of gratitude - especially on days when happiness may seem impossible - can be just what you need to deal with.

In all the downs and downs of life, at the end of the day, it’s just amazing that we’re here, and we need to enjoy it and enjoy it!