Want to be eternally happy? Being miserable and thinking of negative thoughts helps!!

Happiness for me is an elusive virtue and for the most part ‘think positive’ belief fails me as a miracle fizz for mental wellness; one that you could pop in and instantly make half empty glass turn half full and everything around is suddenly bright and sunny. But just because I generally don’t eye the world from behind those rose tinted glasses, doesn’t mean that something’s wrong with me!

Sounds weird...doesn't it? If this sounds freaking odd to you, then you could actually be the one who is ecstatic and all pumped up about happiness but is more miserable within!

How many times have you been told that great things happen so long as you believe them possible to happen and think positive? From pop psychology to improv classes to self improvement blogs; hype surrounding the advantages of positive thinking never leaves the din.

Sure, it’s good to be positive. It reduces stress and probably tweaks health. And it makes me vote for one profound statement that usually proves naysayers wrong; optimism bags you rewards most of the times including your well being!

But what about those who tend to see glass as half empty rather than half full? Does that mean that they cannot keep your sunny side up all the time? Is being a pessimist that bad?

I would say that only a handful recognize that our unhappiness lies in overly high expectations and too little struggle to overcome snags early on. Damned!...the millennials always get shamed as a ‘burnout generation’ that’s left with few choices to make.

Because we couldn’t make time for happiness; we are busy, confused and sad.

Fortunately a grim outlook doesn’t need to be a permanent one. You may get scattered from mildly pessimistic to relentlessly optimistic. But if you get hunkered down at the perilous end, you could still reap some benefits of being downbeat without burning yourself out.

And it takes only a few changes. Small and gradual; they are nothing like what you’d expect;

To begin with here’s a few of them;

You’ve been pushing yourself too hard to be happy.

Negativity sometimes works as a great defense ammo. You don’t always get crushed when things don’t work out your way. It never distracts you from a pessimist’s favorite past time; brainstorming. But it’s not always good to beat a dead horse! When you are ruminating; it’s not just another bad day, it’s always a bad day in a bad life of a bad person!

Besides, pessimism loves to blow even a minor problem to a billboard size one.

I couldn't easily overcome that valley low feeling whenever I get stormed loud and messy. It's overwhelming. I get screwed up fast because I couldn't burn the bridges behind my back! Maybe my octopus teachings are not profound as it goes.

Do you think you would be left with any room to focus, if it soaks up so much of bandwidth? It’s no surprise why dreamers never fail to outsmart the pessimist in you on happiness index.

So, find yourself some quick distraction you can use whenever you realize that you’ve been stuck up with same negative thought for long. Pitch yourself into activities that ask for your full attention. Yoga, aerobics, calling a friend or even absorb some music. It might help you to avoid falling flat on your face.

And don’t be some jaded jerk . It’s perfectly alright to get depressed. Just stop trying to be happy. Stay in your lane and you may end up making more money and a happier marriage!!

It feels so good to blame someone else for your woes

"I'm lousy at tennis"; "My opponent has a killer serve."

If you are the one whose way of interpreting life’s ups and down is dismissive and begins as an inane story with petty perspectives, then you could be failing in giving some basis respect to your self. When good things happen to you, you dismiss it as a fluke; when bad things happen you jump to blame yourself and brace yourself for a long spell of silent sufferings!

But you are not like some textbook dingbat who would wake up each morning wondering which and what went wrong. Are you?...

Bad events are like one time problems and disappear quickly. And optimists too get their dark afternoons. Cancer patients among them are just as badly depressed as their pessimistic counterparts.

So, when you catch yourself being dark, glum and all that, re-frame the problem so that it doesn’t sound like yours alone. Instead of standing all by yourself and thinking ‘"No one is interested in me — I am pathetic!",

Try something more bright;

"Where's the hostess? How could she let a newcomer fend for herself without making introductions? I most certainly wouldn't let that happen"!

No scapegoats of course! But it helps to recognize that you're not the problem, even if your behavior could use some pinch.

Besides, it feels good to keep practicing your tennis serve even if you're not sure how would you rally against someone at your level. It's always promising and worthwhile to throw a bad serve than drop the racket.

If only you’d imagine the world is coming to end.

Another thing that darkens your prospects to be happy is your penchant to make a mountains out of a molehill. You are always hyperlinked to yourself, rewriting grim possibilities until they blow off and turn into something of a doomsday screenplay. A simple cough turns into pneumonia; not the kind that would let you recover from ever! One missed deadline and it’s fast forward into permanent unemployment!

“Am I really to live beneath an underpass in a freeze box because I'm a day late on a project?"

Worst case scenarios are usually absurd but rewinding and playing them over and over again, makes illogical appear inevitable!

And it sucks!

So… just think of the outcomes that’s most likely. Chances are you are gonna miss the executive suit, but it won’t be under the freeway either!

The stunner of all this messing around is that you do get to feel a bit of power over your thoughts and situation. The sense of nursing pessimism each morning works fine, for the world is not going to get shrunk in one day.

Keep trying and you’ll get what’s coming to you!

Do you know why your opponent at tennis court ends up with so much to feel good about at the end of the day? Long after you have given up and gone home still thinking suckers!, he keeps trying to unscramble impossible- to-solve mind benders!

There’s a lot of payoffs in this. Persistence is the cutting edge and it means what !...success at school and fatter paychecks at work, wider social acceptability. Who wouldn't want to make some brilliant win sometimes?

If you are looking for the quickest way to get yourself in the loop, then act like the person you want to be; It’s only about changing the way you feel and the way you think that would define you.

When recognition is the only inspiration, act like you have triumphed some crazy big match battling it out with confidence and hard work. ‘Fake it till you make it’ for this can have surprisingly strong and immediate impact on your emotions. But then, it works only when you correctly identify something within yourself that's holding you back.

Get surrounded with upbeat people

Yawns like smile are contagious. Positive vibes work the same way. Hanging around with people who aren’t so grouchy about anything and everything, could be your one-way ticket out of an unrelenting pessimism. And if you are not feeling particular chatty, you don’t have to talk about what’s troubling you or put around the word that your mind is in a negative tizz. No need for anybody to know exactly what’s bothering you.

Simply being surrounded with positive minded people is usually enough to trigger a grin all around and shift your mood.

So, keep your frown right where it is, for some form of pessimism actually heals when not taken too far. Ignored and unforgiving; it in fact is protective and sometimes rewarding!

Whatever…

Someone’s telling you ‘no’, is always a problem.

Small choices! Yup...but encourage yourself to smile, smile...and smile for this world is only about solutions and not problems.

And happiness is a journey where so many things make you happier, #guaranteed.