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Various Gifts From 2020- The Year That Just Keeps On Giving

A few thoughts on who I was, who I am, and who I will become

Various Gifts From 2020- The Year That Just Keeps On Giving
Photo by Jennifer Burk on Unsplash

2020 has been rough. Pushing the pause button on our entire lives could never be an easy feat but adding in the familial prison that became our reality was nothing short of cruel. And whether we embraced the reprieve from our normal day-to-day or used the time to do nothing but “finish Netflix”, it seems we all have one commonality: We have packed on a few unwanted pounds, routines, and self-esteem issues.

Pre-COVID I would tell you that yes, I did care about my outward appearance, but that the demands of my busy life did not allow me to ponder it all that much. Post-COVID however, I have somehow been reduced to a 12-year-old girl with a distorted body image and several potential future eating disorders. I tremble at even the thought of re-entering society. The mere mention of returning to work terrifies me. I honestly cannot recall if I even own pants with a zipper. Which is convenient, because I assure you, I would not fit in them if I did.

Solid Plan.

So, what are we to do with ourselves and these larger bodies of ours now that 2020 is coming to a close?

I don’t know. I haven't the slightest clue. Not only am I hopelessly useless as to the solution to this life-changing question, but I am scared of it as well. And as I sit in this despair that has become my normal, I get more scared still at the inevitable fact that I cannot be alone. At the thought that there is a handful of competent, intelligent women out there that have been reduced to what I am now: A self-loathing, chunky, judgmental, sub-par mother with no direction, no goals, and no bra. And so, it is in the spirit of who I once was that I call upon my "people" to join me in shaking this shit OFF. In finding who we were and making her better still. To finally becoming who we wanted to be when we grew up and still believed in our own dreams.

I invite you, ladies, to do this not only because we owe it to ourselves, but for a much, much more important reason. We owe it to our KIDS.

Our children NEED to see us grow and learn and become the best versions of ourselves. They need to have front row seats to watch their Mommie’s show life who’s REALLY boss. They need this so that when their time comes, they already have the blueprint. A blueprint that they've spent years studying and watching. A blueprint that they got from their all-time favorite architect- the same one that created them.

Also Not Okay.

So, stand up and roll up your sleeves.

Put that pre-teen with body image issues and low self-esteem in rehab.

Remind yourself how awesome you are and how to apply makeup again.

Put on your bra, get your big girl panties on and let’s go kick 2021’s ass!

*Be sure to follow my other essays, stories, and random thoughts which can be found in my Vocal profile by clicking HERE! And all the really cool kids can find/tag me by clicking these hyperlinks for Facebook (The Industry Momma), Instagram (MommaFran), Twitter (The Industry Momma), & Pinterest (Industry Momma)... Let's keep on encouraging each other to do better, be real, and most of all stop and laugh at it all!*

Francesca Crespo
Francesca Crespo
Read next: The Deception of Instagram
Francesca Crespo

A manic depressive Mother of 7 with ADD, OCD, and WTF. Also, I write stuff.

See all posts by Francesca Crespo

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