Tough times never last, only tough people last

[From the archives circa November/December 2020 but modified to reflect the present]

Addressing life after a hurdle of trials feels so exposing. The weight of shame, guilt and pain is uneasy. Prayer feels embarrassing and hopeless. You just want to curl up in a ball until enough time passes to feel some sort of healing.

The final quarter of 2020 was very challenging, to say the least. My spirit had been tested. My faith had been exposed. My mistakes were plenty. I had caused hurt and pain. It had not been the best ending to the start of a new decade. The year had felt like a 3 in 1 special, and it appears to be a common theme that towards the end of every year certain forces set against me really want to try me.

But my God.

I no longer want to waste the time that I have been allocated. I shouldn’t need to wait on the new year before I decide to make changes now. I’m aware of my shortcomings, my flaws and my Ls and am determined to do better and be better.

Over the last 6 months, I have been learning not to give room.

Don’t give room to other people’s actions towards you.

Of the few things we’re not in control of in life, people’s reactions, responses and behaviour towards us is one of them. When I’m in the face of unwarranted behaviour from others, I have a choice to make that should be primarily dependent on my identity and character. If I make what the Bible says to be my source and anchor onto the Spirit, then my behaviour and responses should always be out of love. When people test your character, show them exactly who you are and stay true to yourself. The behaviour of others should have little bearing on your response to them.

Don’t give room to people who do not respect your morals, principles and boundaries.

There are a lot of people you’ll engage with throughout the course of your life. Inevitably, we need boundaries so as to filter what relationships we want to entertain and to what degree the nature of each relationship should be. In being rooted and assured of your identity, factor in those who compliment, encourage and affirm you to stand firmly in your truth. Get into the habit of knowing your filters and knowing when to say no to those who do not respect the boundaries you have to protect and honour your truth.

Don’t give room to past mistakes.

They’re in the past for a reason, and you learned from them. Don’t allow things or situations to pull you back into the same pit you were delivered from. It’s easy to fall back into your place of comfort and familiarity but if this is fostering more issues than progress then you need to cut it and move on.

Don’t give room to a heartened heart.

There are so many things in our lives competing for our attention and our affection, that if we’re not careful to discern what we should give our energy and resources towards, these things could easily make or break you. Our past trauma and wrongdoing of others are suspect to form a shield around our hearts - that we may think is a guard - but is really a thorned fence that manifests itself into pride, anger, distrust and folly.

If you find certain negative traits at work in you, maybe it’s time to review what you have given room to into your heart. Do you find yourself being defensive? Maybe you’ve allowed pride to rot in your heart. Do you find yourself constantly questioning the intentions of people? Maybe you’ve allowed disloyalty to take root in you. Whatever it may be, trade it to allow room for all of the things you want to see appear in your life.

This journey is not for the faint hearted. Take the light yoke and trust in the One who sees you through. You are loved and you are equipped with all you need to be able to fight the good fight. Don’t be discouraged, get up and try again.

Selah.