TOUGH LOVE IS THE BEST LOVE

When you are taking a journey in this life you are going to have a few pot holes in the road. The more you drive the more you will see those pot holes. After a few minutes of driving you notice that you can avoid those pot holes and have a smooth drive. This is how life is; full of pot holes that you can either hit or avoid.

The key to having a good every day life is to notice those pot holes and try to avoid them. Now you may hit a few but you just can't stop and give up because of a few minor bumps in the road. Here is what I'm talking about.

Life is going to catch you off guard; that's just apart of life, but every single time life throws a curve ball we can't panic and just play dead. We have to face it and deal with the issues at hand. Every day is not going to be peaches and cream, that's not how life works. You wake up in the morning and get yourself mentally and physically prepared for the days agenda. You should already know up front that on this day there are going to be some speed bumps and pot holes along the way but how you handle those bumps and pot holes depends on you.

For example: If you are going through something and you have been talking about this same issue for months or even years; the same thing every day day in and day out to your friend or loved one and you are giving yourself a" Pity Party" each and every time you mention this in a conversation, chances are the person you have mention this to is going to get tired of hearing it. So now the tone of their voice has changed because they are fed up with this same conversation and now they give it to you straight. Now at this point you don't know what went wrong. The tone of that person's voice went from calm to frustration in 2.2 seconds.

Now you are looking for a way out of this conversation because its not going the way it normally goes. So then you try to come back with a quilt trip and that only makes it worse. Now the person you have told this to countless times feel like you haven't been paying attention to what they have said and now they are going to tell you what you don't want to hear and leaves it there. At this point your feelings is hurt and you have no glue why it seems like you hit a speed bump or pot hole in life.

There is no need to feel this way. You know that if you had to have taken the time and listen the first three times you mentioned this same issue, you would have been over it by now and went around the speed bump or pot holes of life and moved on. What we as human beings have to realize that life does not always give us a smooth trip. It doesn't matter what forms of transportation we take on this journey. Whatever comes our way as adults we have to face life's little twist and turns; and remember on that same road we travel everyday, we have to miss those speed bumps and those pot holes waiting for us.

I have learned that we as human beings don't want to take responsibility for our own lives and its easy to point the finger at someone else, and as long as we do this we make life harder on us then what it has to be. Life is not always fair but we have to face it head on and fight back. No matter what our mentally circumstances are we have to fight back, because this world will chew you up and spit you out in a heart beat.

When we are dealing with our children and we have our down days, we have to learn how to not wallow in our own self pity for too long. Get up and shake it off because we have little ones watching us. What we do in our on lives they are watching us and we give them a blue print on how to handle life. No one is perfect but if we show our children to handle situations with a better tool, then it would not be so many children not living life so short. We can show them that life deals everyone a messed up hand sometimes; but if you play your hand at least half way right, life will be just a little bit easier.

Yes sometimes that's easier said than done but it would be less people in the prison system and on the employment system. How we deal with our own lives is how we react to certain things. We have adults acting like children and children acting like adults and that is why this system is all out of whack. No one wants to be responsible, because their parents was not responsible for them, but what is it going to take to brake that unbalance chain? How many more children are going to have to die to gang violence? How many black men and women are going to die due to the police? Come on people; for every action there is a reaction that's what cause and effect is.

Life is not always fair but we have to live it because one day it will be over and there are no do overs. Single mother/fathers do what you have to do to make sure that the life of crime will not be the answer your children need. Married couples stop going out here cheating behind your wife's or husband's back because he or she did it first. Sit down have a conversation and hear the conversation don't just listen to it. Make the necessary changes that needs to be made so your family is kept together. Don't just marry someone for security because you waste the other person's time and they can never get it back.

Don't marry someone just because it was something to do and then as soon as the kids are grown up you split because now you can be free. Stand up and be the one to say lets straighten it out but it takes more than one but the work has to be done on both ends. You might not like what you hear but at the end of the day it made you a better person and your marriage is still together. Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to no matter how the response was given ask yourself one thing...."Did I understand what statement was made?" If you understand what was said then you have a choice to either cry all day every day about it or you can make some serious chances about yourself.

Life is no joke sometimes and it comes with a lot of BS to it, but it is up to you how your life turns out. You can make the wrong decision that and it can land you in two place in jail/prison or dead. The decisions we make in life can also affect other people like our family. We can have our loved ones and family affected by what we do and they are the ones who visit us in prison or our graves and that leaves an emotional scar on them.

If you make the bad choice in life and you start to make that same bad choice every time it presents itself, then it's not a mistake its a choice that you continue to make because its what you want to do. Now if you make that bad choice that one time and face the consequences and you never do it again, then its a mistake and you move on with life. Those situations are what I call the speed bumps and pot holes of life. This is what people have to do day in and day out make choices that are right for them.

I am not saying that every choice you make your friends and family will agree with them but what is meant for you, is meant for you. With every choice you make in life there comes a consequence or a blessing. You have to be careful telling everybody your business to and getting advice from because what works for others may not work for you. Sit down and think on your own and come up with a solution. Life has a whole lot of problems that need to be solved, but if people would use their brains and think about the pros and cons before reacting then the end result would be a lot less painful.

Remember when you were in school and you had a exam the next day and you did not study the night before? You think that if you gram for the exam you can pass it but you get to school and your nerves are all over the place, because you gram for the exam but you did not actually study. Now you have a choice to this problem. You can either go and take the exam and try your best to get a passing grade or you can pull out your cheat sheet or lean over and cheat off of someone else's exam? Which one would you do?

Let's way this one out.

A) You can go and take the exam even though you did not study like you were supposed to do and except the grade you get fair and square and the next time take the time to study.

B) You can take the exam and pull out your cheat sheet and get a perfect score on the test knowing you did not do what you were supposed to do.

C) You can take the exam and lean over and cheat off of someone else who did the same thing you did and did not study properly and stand the change of failing and getting in worse trouble.

The answer is pretty clear for me but what about you? This situation is as clear as the nose on your face. I would choose A and learn something from this situation and do better the next time. My integrity is in tact and I'm not in trouble for trying. This is how life is a big exam. Life was simple when you are a child and we depend on our parents for everything. Then we are teenagers and we want to grow up so fast and be an adult because we think about the unfair rules our parents make for us. We don't think that the rules are there to help us we think its there to control us. Then we are adults with children and think life is no fun unless we are getting our way and that will not prepare you for the real world.

Our parents was trying to prepare us for the real world because they knew something we don't and that is in life you will have to make some choices and with each choice there is a lesson behind them. Stop looking for the easy way out and stop asking questions that you don't want to her the answers to. Some time tough love is the best love because when some one is giving it to you straight you understand what you need to do better. Its not being mean or nasty its just making you not hit that speed bump or pot hole of life again and again. It's up to you to avoid them.