Today I breathe....and pass out

It was hard to wake up today.

I had all night a set of perfectly shaped, 3.5 year old feet kicking me in the head and chest. My son has mastered sleeping horizontal, and it seems to only affect him when he sleeps in my bed. He never sleeps in his own yet for the record, so I'm not really sure if he has a preference depending on which bed. So needless to say I chickened out on starting today.

I spent my morning wandering in a fog, trying to be present with my son, and to be a good mother. Being a good mother is difficult in the best of times, but when you are mentally combating yourself, and the world as I have been for 2 years since my seperation, being a mother is the first thing people attack. So I put off my first round of training exercise with the Wim Hoff method, until this evening.

As I sit at my kitchen table with my half eaten dinner next to me, my son's collection of Robert Munsch books.... I am listening to the calming dutch accent of Wim Hoff, as he guides someone on their journey of breathing. I am raptured.

His voice, oh that voice! Its this calming ocean mixed with the backround track, and add in the the deep breathes that the other person is taking while he talks makes it a soothing experience.

Laying on my kitchen floor, hands at my side and feet splayed wide, I being the deep breaths, 30 in total to start. Following along with his guidance you think you'll never make it, as he is demanding it faster than the normal rate that you would intake oxygen. I'm worried i'm not doing it right as nothing is tingling even though he says its ok and normal if it does, my hands and feet feel fine but then the lightheadedness takes over. Suddenly, he says sternly "hold your breath after the exhale!" and I do, and am hit with a large wave of giggles, a full blown laughing fit. Out of no where I am laughing for no reason, and I feel high, which I assume is the increase of oxygen and is a normal reaction, but its not stated if that is a true response.

Maybe i'm doing this wrong? I'm not sure this is how its supposed to go, but I finished the lesson and I do feel better, more clear in my thoughts and my intentions for the night. I am going to do it again tomorrow to stay on track and to commit to my week of Wim Hoff training. I did notice that the first time I held my breath I had to start breathing sooner than instructed as I was hit with a laughing fit, but the second time I managed to control the laughter and I noticed that I wasn't clawing for air, panicking at the idea of choking to death, suffocating, etc. I felt calm, I felt I had plenty of oxygen and was lacking in nothing. Really, a remarkable feeling. I think that laying on the floor on a thin blanket was probably not a good idea, I should have picked a more comfortable situation. I focused too much on how hard it was on my back and the slight discomfort in my shoulder and hip as I was lying on a hardwood floor. Not my smartest move. Yet, I got through it and without being interrupted by a 3.5 year old.

I am really stoked to try again tomorrow, as I am going to start timing my breath, and see how long I can hold my breath from today's time to next Sunday's time. This will have an astounding affect I hope on my eventual goal of being able to do static hold of 3 minutes. I have goals of studying animal behaviour in marine life, specifically sharks and in my reading I've discovered that they are startled or scared off by the bubbles produced through scuba gear, so the best way to get close is free diving. So, there is more a method to my madness.

I'm going to attempt to stand up now, I think I need to hold onto something still....