You’re not as pretty as you think.” “Your ass is way too small.” “You could never look like those other girls.” “I can’t believe you thought he’d actually like you” These are just some of the thoughts that go through my head on a daily basis, as I am constantly attacked by this bitch named insecurity. Have you ever stopped and asked yourself “why the hell am i so damn insecure?” Well, I ask myself that question a lot. However, I’ve learned insecurity, no matter how much money you have or how beautiful you are is someone that will always be on your shoulders and whispering in your ear.
As a camp counselor, I often ask my group of seventh and eighth grade girls what they like and don’t like about themselves. I have noticed that it is often hard for them to say things that they like about themselves but they can easily name off a list of the things that they don’t like. I have even noticed that this happens with myself.
I can look in the mirror before going out and feel very confident until I walk outside soon as someone else in automatically I feel less beautiful, less pretty, Less worthy and less confident. Insecurity begins to whisper in my ear. It comes from many different places. While social media has become more popular, it has caused stereotypes about what women and men should look like in order to be beautiful. How often do you hear that you should love yourself that you should always be confident and that no matter what you should believe in yourself more than the world does? Pretty often huh? Now how often has someone actually taught you how to be confident how to actually believe in yourself? How no matter how much the world tells you that you’re not good enough, you won’t believe them. Never? That’s because you can’t teach someone how to love themself.
Now imagine facing all og these normal girl to woman growth challenges and changes WHILE BEING BLACK. See, unfortunately black girls face insecurity plus the hate of white America.
4 times harder for little black girls to tell themselves they’re pretty when everything in the media proclaims the opposite. When they grow up believing their hair is too nappy, skin is too dark, nose is too wide, lips too full.
Black girls grow up unable to express their insecurities because their battle to survive is too important. The ability to express personal feelings is taken away from black children when they are forced to make statements about why their people deserve to not be killed by police at the age of 7.
Black children do not have time to be insecure to the public yet the same challenges still arise without being fed with reassurance.
Black girls, you are beautiful. You are strong but it is okay to be insecure, it is okay to not feel pretty all the time. You do not always have to be the voice of the people.
It is okay to just be the voice of yourself.
Insecurity is someone you will try to fight your entire life and you will always lose. You won’t win the fight by gaining confidence because even the most confident person still has some insecurities. The only way you will win against the battle of insecurity is to tell that bitch that throughout your insecurities you are still confident. You must learn how to hold hands with your insecurities and embrace everything that you don’t like about yourself so even when the world is telling you that you’re not good enough. YOU WON’T BELIEVE THEM.
Yes, Confidence is key.... but only to one door. Loving yourself is the master key to unlock every door. We all have it, you just don’t know how to use it yet.
Don’t worry, it took a few locksmiths along the way to help me figure out how to use mine.
Peace and Love,
Cee
About the Creator
Chey
poet. healer. roller coaster.
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