Thoughts

Hello subscribers! My first posting to vocal was a short and completely untrue crime story. I had so much fun writing it and really would love to compose a full version. I actually have stories I've started and saved in my google docs, some in need of editing, some needing to be continued, I have always since I can remember, had a passion for stories. When I was between 10 and 14 I was known among my friends to vanish for days, weeks, and sometimes even months! Eventually, they realized I could be found at our local library hidden for hours in vast piles of books, mostly of paranormal quality. The spooky, unknown has always been my personal favorite. I have had experiences with the paranormal since I was a young girl, at some point, I cut myself off from the experiences due to other people's beliefs. Recently over the last few years, I've learned a lot, and taken back what I love. This year, I am doing me. I am finding ways to do what I love, and in doing so, I've gained a lot. Maybe not money, but I have gained insight, love, insperation and a foundation that although may be odd by others account, is infact me. No one can live my life for me, and it's the same for you too!

It really doesn't matter what other people think, not the way many of us think it does. While it can be useful to take in some constructive criticism it is not necessary to take it to heart. It can be so hard however when folks say things like "Writing isn't a real job" or "I hear Dunk'n doughnuts is hiring". Don't get me wrong, I love Dunk'n, but I've worked the fast food, slow food, retail, deli cook, manufacturing jobs, none of them were really what I wanted deep down inside. Now by no means am I a writer just yet, But I will never know my passion is worth it by others' values. It's just something one must do themself to find the answer.

I would love to bring some of my stories to life! But my stories are more like novels as I find it hard to bring one in short and sweet. Once my mind gets going, it's going. This past year, my mind has been everywhere and nowhere all at once, as much as I want to write, my current job situation is difficult, much like a lot of other folks, I have kids to care for as a single parent. Looking for work that fits in with my family. Bills, Bills, and Bills. Then unemployment hits me with a big bill, I'm still unclear on this stack of cash claimed I owe to them. Then, while reading a blog, I found I might not be the only one unemployment cut off and then claimed money owed back. The first thing that popped in my head was those commercials that start off "Did you or a loved one suffer from/by (fill in blank) during (fill in blank), Then you may be able to join this class action lawsuit!" So I then wonder, considering how many Americans are losing their minds right now due to the pandemic stuff, will that be one of the 2021 commercials? If so, I'm in. Just saying.

As much as I've tried this year to hide in my paranormal realm, the world keeps tugging at me, It keeps making me peek out into the world because the screams of the living this year have been more torturous and loud than the screams of the dead have ever been. Living this year for many has been scarier than living in a haunted house! (Which by the way, folks use to be more scared of until this year that is.) It has just been insane! On top of all the things we could think of and more, lots of folks are also waking spiritually. Wow! Right?

I know how my year has been, and I keep hearing others, some even worse then I am, I admit, I have gotten so mad, not just for my kids and I but also for many of you. I feel stuck in my own ego, questioning how can I help? But, I'm super poor, kids of my own, I donate, but I also wonder how much that really helps when unemployment is making claims that are not making sense. Where does a basic nobody come in to help? Ego, is the one who puts in self doubt, It can be a battle of the mind affecting the soul and the heart.

Unfortunately, money is the only thing that pays bills, and paying bills are the only thing that keeps you from being homeless and or carless. Here in my town, help comes in food, light, water, rent assistance if they have funds, no help with keeping your car, paying internet, cell phones, insurance... However, these things are not some extra toy we want. Some of us, while looking for a way to pick ourselves back up have found scams, and walls, and even piles of (you know what). Just like that, it feels like being a hard worker does not count anymore. Not without a special set of keys to life.

This year has been the ride of our lives! some of us just want to beet this jumanji game and maybe level 12 is the end of all this ( That would be awesome!) But if it's not, what do we do? How will low income/poverty families make another year when so many have been hanging on to thin strings to keep their families together before this pandemic. Where there are folks who don't try, there are a great many who do, and have been, even in the past few years discriminated agenst because of those who don't try, we all find ourselves pushed under the same umbrella of hateful things said about all of us. If anything I hope this judgemental aspect of people is thrown away. I hope people begin to see eachother better as the light becomes brighter, and I hope the we learn vaule from this endevour, this crazy train we have all been ridding will take every passenger to pull the E-break. Team work, support, love, morrals, telling our egos to hush because we can all do something to help at least one person, even if its just kind words, a hug doesn't have to be felt with anything more then the heart!