This is Fourteen

Hey cutie pie,

Yeah, I can feel you rolling your eyes—that's okay, I'm used to it by now. Don't worry, even at the ripe old age of 27, you'll still be a champion of the "eye roll." You'll also be the champion of several other wonderful things too, just so you know.

Anyway, I hope I caught you at a good time...I know there are not a lot of those these days, but maybe, by the end of this, we'll turn things around. "Right the ship," if you will.

Before I begin (and before you give up on where this is headed), I want you to know two things right off the bat:

• Retin-A is your friend (and the answer to your skin woes).

• You're the strongest person I know.

Got that? Good.

This letter lists seven things I wish to tell you—seven things that might just mend your broken heart and strengthen your battered soul.

Now, take it with a grain of salt—I know not all of this will make sense right now, but trust me, it will.

Ready? Okay, here we go:

1. High school is the worst (you're not exaggerating)

You're in it, baby. This is as bad as it gets.

Sure, this point might not bring immediate solace, but hopefully you'll feel some comfort in knowing that your boy Dante got it all wrong.

Public high school is the ninth circle of hell. You're not being dramatic—it's literal torment.

But guess what?

It ends. Just like every other point of misery and contention in the next thirteen years, it's not permanent.

But you know what is permanent? Your resilence to see it through.

2. That boy ain't got nothing on you

Sure, he seems like an actual demi-god now, but trust me, you're a goddess (and you'll find a man a few years later who agrees).

You'll end up getting together a few years down the road, and don't get me wrong, it'll be straight magic at first.

But it'll go sour—fast. He'll break up with you at Smashburger while your face is caked in mustard and you'll be left thinking that it was something you did (or didn't) do, but know this:

It wasn't your fault.

This leads me to...

3. Virginity isn't real

I know you're already blushing but hear me out:

You do not become less of a person and you do not lose any of your intrinsic value once you decide to have sex with someone.

Society will tell you the complete opposite—you'll be made to think that you "belong" to that person or you "lost" something to them.

You'll feel shame, you'll feel sick to your stomach—the fact that his friends placed bets on it won't help, either.

But guess what?

You did not lose a damn thing when you made that choice. Virginity is, after all, a social construct (but you'll learn more about that once you become heavily involved in Gender & Women's Studies).

P.S. USE PROTECTION

4. Mean girls are everywhere

You're close to 30 now (I know—"so old"), and sadly, mean girls are still a thing.

The girls who called you "Connect-the-Dots" and "Pepperoni Face" are fresh in your mind, but there will be several others, unfortunately.

On the bright side, you'll learn something new along the way—a fun little word you'll repeat in your head each time you meet a new "mean girl":

Compassion.

As you grow, your heart becomes resilient, your empathy will reach new heights, and you'll realize all those "mean girls" are really "hurt girls."

You'll recognize a piece of you in each of them and notice that their hurtful words, their bullying antics, and their desire to see you fall comes from a place of hurt.

Have sympathy, have compassion, and know that how they feel about you is really how they feel about themselves.

Their cruelty has nothing to do with you.

5. Let your freak flag fly

You're so weird.

You can lick your elbow, you love all things grotesque & macabre—come to think of it, Dissection Day was your favorite day of the school year (you wind up becoming a vegetarian, so just let that sink in).

To top it off, you went to middle school in a yurt, you skipped a grade, and you can fit your thumb through the gap in your front teeth.

You're a grade-A weirdo—don't lose sight of that. It'll be your greatest strength as you enter adulthood.

6. You'll be glad you stuck around

I promise—your story doesn't end here.

7. Keep writing

And don't ever stop.

You'll be rejected, you'll be criticized, you'll be ignored—that doesn't end. That nagging fear of failure won't go away, either.

But you'll do it anyway. You'll do it because you love it. You'll do it because you don't know how to breathe without it.

You'll do it because that's who you are.

You are a storyteller and you have so much to share with the world.

***

You are fourteen and I will never stop being proud of you.

You're doing great.

All my love,

Your future self