The Woman, The Hummingbird & The Sage

Eyes strained, standing up to stretch and move as I have just spent 3 hours getting important documents done for work. Being 7 months pregnant is not helping the entire situation, seeing as my already achy and fatigued body from growing a human is making the usual work-from-home comfort a lot less comfortable and a lot more enticing to just lay in bed and sleep the days away until labor & delivery. I am almost there, though! Work stress and physical stress cannot compare to the newness of expectant mother stress and first-time mom anxiety--all the what-if's, worries, responsibility, lack of sleep and the desire to be the best I can be with no experience in this department can make the most confident of women insecure and fearful.

I sit back down in my desk chair and gently rub my belly in the spot I feel the baby kicking. Everything I am doing now, is not just for me and my husband. Everything I think, do and feel now will include another small person that completely relies on me for its care, comfort and well-being. My to-do list of things to get done before the baby arrives blends chaotically in my mind with the grocery list, chores list and work to-do list. That is the thing about women, our mind is always running as we navigate work/life balance while also making sure to have our hair, make-up and outfits right.

I try to calm my mind and ground myself by doing some conscious deep breathing as I focus my vision on the beautiful tree situated right outside of my window. I gaze at the tree, admire the green lush leaves as they wave in ripples from the wind lightly blowing through them. I feel myself breathing in deeper, feel more centered in my body and quiet in my mind. The tension in my shoulders dissipates and I relax further into the back of my chair. It is amazing how looking at a tree and breathing deeper can do that! It is powerful taking control of your breath and how this simple act can soothe your mind and emotions and release tightness in your body. I shift my focus back outside of my window and it was then that I notice a beautiful hummingbird darting through the branches of that same tree, as if it were looking for something.

I was intrigued with the hummingbird because it looked like it was on a mission to discover something among the trees and I wanted to know what it was. It darts off and I get closer to the window to see where the hummingbird went, but discover nothing. I immediately take this as a sign that it is time to get back to work so, I turn my attention back to my computer screen and try to get my focus back to what I was doing previously. This was short-lived because in the peripheral of my left eye I see the hummingbird dash back into sight and it steals my attention, again. This time the hummingbird had a few twigs in its beak and was hovering to gently place the twigs on the tip of a solid branch just outside my window.

"She's making a nest!" I thought excitedly to myself.

I got emotional. Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones, but I got emotional because this is so special and beautiful to get to watch front-row and center as this mama hummingbird builds her nest. It is rare that you get to be this close to watching nature at its purest and finest. I felt happier and more motivated as I now had a new co-worker just outside of my window. I snuck glances at my co-worker hummingbird as she was continuing to build her nest one twig and blade of grass at a time. Knowing that she was busy building her nest, just as I was busy typing away at my computer I was able to get a lot of focused time with my work and get a lot done for the day.

I called it a day and I turned off my computer. I looked outside my window to see how the hummingbird and her nest was doing and saw that she had accomplished a good foundation to continue to build upon in the coming days. It also looked like she was done working for the day, as well, because she was sitting and resting on top of the foundation that she just spent the entire afternoon building. I do not know if she was really looking at me, but she was turned my way and I said to her: "Nice work, mama. I'll see you in the morning."

I leave my home office and walk towards the kitchen with the aim to get dinner started. I could hear my husband already in the kitchen chopping something on the cutting board. I take inventory of my emotions and observe that I do not feel as drained and exhausted as I would normally feel after a work day. Instead, I am feeling present, contented and extremely connected to the mama hummingbird outside. I smile to myself as this will make good conversation at the table with my husband.

That night, laying next to my deeply asleep husband, I try desperately to get comfortable in bed with my growing belly but insomnia hits hard. My obstetrician told me that this could happen around this time and so I am both frustrated but understanding. I know the worst thing you could do with insomnia is try to make yourself sleep so I decided to get out of bed and get some hot chamomile tea.

Hot chamomile tea with lemon in hand I make my way to my home office. I specifically designed and decorated my office to be half my workspace and the other half my sanctuary. On one side, there is my desk, computer, desk chair and all the things I need to be productive for work and the opposite side of the room is my bookshelf filled with my favorite books, tarot cards, candles, essential oils, crystal collection, inspiring art on the walls, a plush arm chair near the window and a warm blanket. I walk over to my window to open it for some fresh midnight air and the cricket sounds fill my room. I settle myself nicely into the arm chair with my tea in hand and look out the window. My mind starts so fill with random thoughts of the day and I close my eyes to breathe with the intentions of calming it. My mind calms and then wanders to today's experience of the hummingbird outside of my window.

I visualize the graceful hummingbird as it glides through the air so swiftly and so intentionally weaving through the branches and leaves so focused on building her nest. The hummingbird had a mission today and it was to find a safe tree, with a firm and strong branch to start building her nest. There was nothing getting in the way of that goal and mission, because the livelihood of this mama hummingbird and her coming eggs depended on it. She did not have time to second-guess herself. She had persistence in her search for the perfect location and confidence in her decision and follow-through in her execution to getting her nest started today. Simple. I want to be like this mama hummingbird. I need to BE like this mama hummingbird. This is why I had such a deep connection to her.

My visualization gets interrupted by the "hoot hoot" sound of a large barn owl that suddenly appears perched on my window sill.

I open my eyes and see the most beautiful white & brown Barn Owl with a heart-shaped face looking at me. I am awe-struck and shocked, but also mesmerized and a little confused because it is unheard of to see owls in this area. I blink a few more times to make sure I am not imagining things, but my eyes are seeing exactly what is there because my ears also perk up as the Barn Owl greets me with the words: "Good evening."

I anxiously think to myself: "How is this owl speaking to me?! Did it just speak to me!? I must be dreaming."

"You are not going crazy. Yes, you are seeing an owl. Yes, I am talking to you. This is not a dream," says the owl in a wise baritone voice.

The owl's beak was not moving, he was conversing with me telepathically and the voice I heard in my thoughts was one of wisdom of father time.

"What are you doing here? Why are you hear?" I ask.

"I was sent here by The Divine/Source/Creator--whatever you resonate with--to guide and help you through this stage of your life and pregnancy. You must be feeling very anxious and worried and I am here to help make this transition into this next beautiful chapter of your life a lot easier," said the Owl.

I am silenced, because this is absolutely what I need right now. This owl is right. I am filled with questions, but then also filled surprisingly with relief of its presence and intentions. I realize I am glazed over with the look of deer-in-the-headlights and take a breath to feel grounded back into my body.

"The Divine saw you pausing during your work day today to admire the beauty of creation--the trees, leaves, the nesting hummingbird. He heard your thoughts, felt your worries and anxiety and as a reward for you pausing to be present to your life He sent me to you to guide you with sage advices and lessons that you may need," The owl continued to explain.

Finally able to speak, I manage to say: "Well...wow! I am so grateful for this. I, personally, believe there is a Higher Power and Oneness and that I am divinely guided so, I thank you for making the journey to be here with me."

The owl bows to me and says: "It is an honor."

The owl continues to say:

"The first 2 pieces of advice I will leave you with tonight, is this:

1. Be present and in the moment with your life. We can only affect the NOW so to tame any fears, worries, doubts and anxieties focus all your attention on what can be controlled, today, and surrender the rest to tomorrow.

2. Nature shows us answers--answers that are simple. Nothing is coincidental in the design of The Divine. When you take the time to be present to your life--by pausing, breathing and having awareness of what is going on around you, you become a part of the flow of all things and that flow brings answers effortlessly through nature."

"Amazing! I saw this and experienced this in action today as I observed the nesting hummingbird. I saw how she had a goal to find a safe place to build her nest, how she focused unwaveringly towards her goal and when she found the perfect spot she went to work right away in taking the steps to manifest that goal one twig and blade of grass at a time. I resonated so much with that as I often second-guess myself and derail myself with these unnecessary thoughts, causing more interference and blocks from me actually taking any action. What then happens is anxiety, worry, doubts and fears to the point of stagnancy," I earnestly say.

The owl responds: "Yes. Which is why I am here. I am here to validate the tools and exercises that you already do to calm and ground you. Breathing, visualizing and connecting with nature is exactly what you need to be doing to combat those moments of inner mental and emotional turmoil. You are on the right path. The answers are simple. The answers are in nature. You simply have to be open to receive the answers."

I look away to pick up my cup of tea for a sip and repeat to myself: "The answers are simple. The answers are in nature. You simply have to be open to receive the answers...."

I look back towards the window to find the owl has gone.

Drowsiness overcomes me and I make my way back to bed. As I finally find a comfortable position I think to myself: "Goodnight, mama hummingbird. What a beautiful day."

Morning sun peaks through the trees outside. I am up, fed with breakfast and ready with my cup of coffee to start my work day. I make my small walking commute to my home office and looking out my window I already see my co-worker, mama hummingbird at work dashing back and forth in the trees with her beak filled with twigs.

"I love it. You don't waste any time, mama bird," I say aloud.

It is a full day of work with multiple emails to respond to, figurative fires to put out and deadlines to hit. Somewhere among all that I need to have lunch. I take a few 5-10 minute breaks among all of the aforementioned and I sneak glances at mama hummingbird.

At this point in the day, I am back from lunch and the hummingbird's nest is starting to have obvious walls and cup-shape. Before I log back into my computer, I watch as the mama hummingbird is flying back to the nest with a small clump of twigs in her beak but accidentally drops it all.

"Oh no!" I say aloud as I look on.

I am thinking the hummingbird is going to now frantically look for all the twigs that she just dropped on the ground and pick it up but, that is not what happens. Without skipping a beat, without even showing any type of remorse, the mama hummingbird flies away and is gone for a few moments longer than usual but comes back with another clump of twigs and blades of grass. She just kept on going. That was a lesson all in itself: If it were me, I would get disappointed in myself, get down on myself for making such a clumsy mistake and spend energy with shoulda, woulda, coulda thoughts. Not mama hummingbird! She does not have time for those thoughts. She is focused, confident and TRUSTS that she will find new twigs--probably even better twigs.

I muse over this a little bit more as I continue back to my work and find myself having a little more focus and tenacity to get everything done.

The rest of my afternoon turns out to be very productive and I tackle a lot of things that I would not have normally been able to finish. I turn off my computer and look over to my mama hummingbird and I also see she is resting in her nest. Her nest is half-way done and looking sturdy and resilient.

"Another productive day completed, mama. See you tomorrow!" I say to her.

Over dinner, I share my musings about todays hummingbird experience with my husband--leaving out the part about The Sage owl that visited me the night prior--and it feels so good for him to also see the parallels and connections that I am having with her. It is so refreshing to be present to these beautiful but insightful nature experiences because I can see how the rat-race of work/life juggling can easily make these moments unnoticeable.

As I lay down in bed, preparing to sleep I think to myself: "How lucky I am to have a husband who sees the value of these types of experiences and sees the importance of also being present to life and nature. I'm so grateful for him."

This time, I cannot sleep because I am too curious to know if the The Sage owl will visit me tonight with more advice. Earlier, before getting ready for bed, I purposely left the window in my office open enough to leave room for the owl to come through if it chose to visit me tonight. I give into the curiosity and quietly jet to my home office to see if the owl is there. To my delight, I see the owl is there!

"Good evening!" I excitedly say.

"Good evening," The Sage owl replied.

I decide to share with the owl my experience observing the mama hummingbird today and shared my thoughts on the lesson I learned.

The owl replies: "That was exactly the lesson you were supposed to learn today: TRUST. Trust that you are being taken care of. Trust that you are being guided. Trust yourself that you have what it takes to create and achieve what you want. Trust that you will have it because you believe in yourself. The hummingbird is a part of the natural flow of all creation, no more or less than you and I... and so she is conditioned with trust that all will always be as it should and she will be provided for."

"That is so comforting to know that we are all a part of this natural flow of all things and how we all have the ability to affect each other in both positive and negative ways... it makes me want to really be more aware of my part as I am now going to be a mother. Thank you for sharing this lesson with me," I gratefully say.

"My pleasure," replies the owl. He turns around and takes flight into the night sky.

I make my way back to bed and before drifting off to sleep I allow the last 3 lessons I learned from The Sage owl to really sink in and integrate within me. I close my eyes feeling gratitude and peace.

The following week is the same routine of at-home work, observing my co-worker mama hummingbird as she is now putting the finishing touches on her nest and sharing my thoughts with my husband. What remains different about the week is that The Sage owl does not pay me any visits. I begin to wonder if my special time with the owl has come to an end. I am very aware I can always use more sage advices, so it cannot be that I have learned all that there is to be learned. Instead of ruminating further, I chose to focus on the last lesson that I received from the owl: TRUST. I trust what is currently happening and not spend any energy worried about anything else. I trust that whatever happens, I am Divinely guided at all times.

The next morning, as I step into my home office I see that mama hummingbird is completely done with her nest and that there are 2 eggs nestled safely in it! She did it! She put in the work. Despite all of the trials of accidentally dropping twigs and the mini set-backs of unpredictable weather she created her nest, laid her eggs and gets to rest.

"How inspiring!" I thought to myself. She labored almost 2 weeks devoting her time and energy in creating a safe space and home for her eggs and then gives herself permission to rest.

The whole idea behind rest is new for me. I am so conditioned to keep going, to keep achieving and to continue on to the next important project that I neglect to rest. I am definitely a part of the burn-out culture that runs rampant in human conditioning. I decided I need to allow myself to do more resting after accomplishments and make a daily practice of self-care so I can always be my best and show-up at my most optimum. How can I give my best if I do not take the time and effort to invest in myself and the replenishment of my own energy reserves?! The answer to this is simple--just like The Sage owl said--and the answer came from being present to my life and connecting with nature.

That evening instead of sitting on the couch with my husband and looking for a movie to watch before bed, I decided to make myself some chamomile tea with lemon and spend some time in my plush arm chair in my sanctuary. I reclined there, and enjoyed the sensations of the baby kicking. To my surprise I was greeted with a "hoot hoot" of The Sage owl landing on the window sill and I quickly looked up!

"I'm so happy to see you! It has been a while and I was afraid my time with you was through. Thank you for coming back." I said happily.

"Good evening. The last 2 lessons that I was sent to teach you were meant to be learned on your own and you should be so proud of yourself because you discovered it on your own. You came to this discovery because: You trusted. You believed that you will be shown the way and you were shown. You continued to be present to your life and connect with nature so, nature gave you the simple answers." Said the owl with pride.

Listening to the owl I felt my heart become larger. I felt unconditional love surround me like a warm hug and my eyes welled up with tears of joy.

"The last 2 lessons that you must learn is this:

1. The importance of REST. Resting after putting in hard work and dedication is a part of the energy of Creation. We see this in nature through the season of Winter--it is a season for the world to rest and reset as it prepares for new life that the season of Spring will bring. Resting also teaches us the virtue and value of PATIENCE. Through resting in patience we become open to receive. We can receive more ideas, more clarity & awareness, as well as revitalized energy (through self-care) to create again.

2. SURRENDER. This goes along with the lesson of trust. Without trust it will be hard to surrender. With trust, surrendering will open doors and opportunities that you could never begin to imagine. Magic and miracles thrive and expand exponentially when you surrender. It is in surrendering that you show to The Divine/Source/Creator/Universe that you are ready," said the owl.

"You. Are. Ready," emphasized the owl.

"I am ready," I say.