The Truth is

The truth is we reach a point where we know who we are, what we want and what we deserve and we’re not willing to go back to selling ourselves short again. We’re not willing to repeat the same vicious cycle of handing out our hearts to those who don’t know how to catch them. The truth is we reach a point where our self love trumps any other love. We choose ourselves even when people don’t choose us.

The truth is we outgrow those who show us that they’re not invested. That they don’t want to try. We outgrow those who treat us like a pit stop until they find what they’re looking for. We outgrow those who don’t make us feel like they’re glad they found us. We outgrow those who don’t value us the way we want to be valued.

The truth is we outgrow those who aren’t afraid of losing us because they’ll never truly understand who we are and what kind of love we’re seeking. They’ll never truly see us the way we want to be seen.

Don’t settle for that instead find someone who is willing to get to know you, and except you for you!

One day, he's going to know. He'll know your birthday, your middle name, where you were born, and your parent's names. He'll know how old you were when you wanted to learned to play violin, how your grandparents passed away, how many pets you had, and how much you hated going to school. He'll know your eye color, your scars, your laugh, and your birthmarks. He'll know your favourite book, movie, candy, food, pair of shoes, color, and song. He's going to know why you wake up in the middle of the night most nights, where you were when you realised you had lost yourself, why you picked up the bottle of pills, and how you managed to put it down before things went too far. He's going to know your phobias, your dreams, your fears, your wishes, and your worries. He's going to know about your first heartbreak, your dream wedding, and your problems with your father. He'll know your strengths, weaknesses, laziness, energy, and your mixed emotions. He's going to know about your love for all things, your dream of being a dentist when you were five, your need to sing along to every song you know, and your fears of growing older. He'll know your bad habits, your mannerisms, your facial expressions, and your laugh. The way you chew, drink, walk, sleep, fidget, and kiss. He's going to know that you've already picked out wedding flowers, baby names, bridesmaid dresses, and the color of your bedroom walls. He's going to know you, get annoyed at things and then accept You for you. He'll know your Taco bell order, how you LOVE sugar in your coffee, how much you hate sweets. He's going to know how you feel without telling him, when you're holding in a laugh, and that you're crying without shedding tears. He's going to know all of it. Everything. You, from top to bottom and inside out. From learning, from sharing, from listening, from watching.

But here’s the thing you can’t keep choosing someone who doesn’t choose you. You can’t. Because your person is going to be your person for the rest of your life. Not just when you’re young and things are perfect, but when things get messy and you make mistakes and the world is less shiny. You have to make sure that you have someone by your side that wants to be there. Someone who wants to support you, and encourage you. Someone who gives you just as much effort as you give them. Someone who wants to hear your laugh, and make breakfast with you, and listen to all of your dumb jokes for twenty, or thirty, or fifty years. Because there are difficult things in life, really hard and haunted things that make it heavy and hurtful at times. But love should not be one of those things. Love should hold your hand and help you brave those storms. Love should be your safe place. So please, just don’t give the best parts of yourself to someone who doesn’t see the value in what they are receiving. Don’t settle for anyone who doesn’t look at you and know, without hesitation, that they want to stay.

I no longer have the energy to fight for things. I no longer have the energy to hold on tightly and try to fix what’s broken. I no longer have the energy to mend what I didn’t break. I no longer have the energy to keep asking for what I want if my requests have been previously denied. I no longer have the energy to be calm around those who tick me off or be understanding with those who don’t consider my feelings. I no longer have the energy to be generous with selfish people or waste my time with someone who’s stingy with theirs.

I no longer have the energy to wait for people. I have learned that those who want something always find a way to do it. They don’t let anything get in the way but those who don’t will always find a way to delay it. I no longer have the energy to blame things on timing instead of people. I no longer have the energy to lie to myself.

I’ve always been a firm believer in fighting for the things you want and I still am but I’ve realized that there are a few exceptions. You can’t fight for things you’ve already fought for a thousand times before. You can’t fight for people who aren’t fighting for you. You can’t fight for things that are not yours. You can’t fight for things that keep getting blocked for some divine reason and you can’t fight for things that could destroy you. You can’t fight for things that you need to stay away from.

I no longer have the energy to spend my time fighting. Yes sometimes it’s necessary but that can’t be what my life is about because I’ve seen the other side of things, the things that kind of fall into your lap effortlessly and seamlessly without any fight. The things that kind of blend in perfectly with who you are and what you believe in. The timing that doesn’t get in the way. The circumstances that are perfectly aligned with yours. The people who don’t drive you crazy with mixed signals and confusing behavior. The things that just come into your life and bring you peace, joy and stability.

I no longer have the energy to fight for anyone but myself.

Whatever it is that makes you wake up, whatever it is that makes you feel a moment of peace or a glimmer of hope, just keep it close. Please, live for it. Make sure that you focus on it. Make sure that you make time for it. I don’t care what it is. You have to understand that happiness does not have to be this big all-consuming thing. Sometimes happiness is your morning cup of coffee. Sometimes it is the smell in the street after it rains, or your favorite song played on repeat for three hours straight. Sometimes happiness is your friend’s laughter or the way the sky looks through the trees in your favorite park. If it keeps you going, if it ignited something within you, it doesn’t matter how small or grand it is. Just hold on to it. Let it save you.

🧡🧡🧡🧡