The Struggle

It’s the voice that echoes from the back of your mind that tells you you’re not good enough, talented enough, or determined enough.

It’s the weird tugging feeling in your stomach that makes you wonder if all that hard work was - or is - just wasted time. Time you could've been doing something better with. Time that you now have less of. Time that is slipping away

It’s the moment where things seem like they’re coming together and then they all fall apart. You had it in your grasp, and then for whatever reason, it slipped away. It was right there! And now, it's not.

It’s the words from someone who should know better, but they say them anyway without thinking of the consequences. You trusted them. Loved them. Confided in them. Looked up to them. And they thought to was best to tear you down.

It’s the thought that makes you wonder if you should just give it all away because, really, life would just be simpler if you didn’t do what you do anymore. You want to give up. Because, after all, maybe life would be a lot less complex - or just easier - if you did.

It’s the desire to wonder what life would be like if you could take a “Sliding Doors” moment and put the creative side of you away indefinitely. When you look back and think "Did I really make the right choice."

This, dear reader, is what we call “The Struggle”.

And, seriously, to be completely honest, I don’t really know why “The Struggle” exists.

All I know is that it does. And it's always there on the periphery - never completely out of sight. It's this weird reminder that you are still strangely insecure about your creativity - even though you damn well know you are meant to do what you were born to do.

I guess there’s an element of constantly “putting yourself out there” and dealing with the critical glare of everyone that can take its toll on you. Being creative is a very personal pursuit — in fact, anything that you are passionate about becomes deeply personal.

And because it’s personal, it’s so close to the core who you are that any objection or negativity to it hits hard and deep. No scratch that. It's more than that. It's like raising up your new born child to the world to let them shoot arrows at it.

Yes, I know. I hear some of you thinking "Well, just develop a thick skin." And there is some truth to that. But even if the façade is thick, what’s underneath is often still soft. It has to be: that's where we draw our inspiration from. That softness is vital to doing what we do.

Plus, some of us don’t have a thick skin — it’s something that we haven’t developed yet. There’s nothing wrong with that. Sensitivity allows you to be open to the world around you and to ideas that others might dismiss. It's true that in a world that is getting tougher, harder, meaner, and more subjectively opinionated (social media anyone?), sensitivity is becoming rarer. Sensitivity is something that should be nourished and encouraged.

Still, none of that helps with “The Struggle.”

So what does? What can we do to help navigate the waters that swirl around us?

While it would be wonderful to be able to create a list of tried-and-true solutions, I don’t think that there is. However, here’s a random list of suggestions and ideas that might help when overcoming that internal fight we sometimes face with our own creativity.

1. Believe In You.

I’ve said it before and I'll continue to say it for all of my days: only you create like you. You are unique. The way you see, do and create can only be done by you. There might be others like you, but ultimately, they’re different too. Just as they’re unique, so are you. Believe in what you do — even if others are ready tell you otherwise. Self-belief is vital; hold fast to it. And remember, that no one can replace you. I was once told that if you weren't here, there would be a "you-shaped hole" that no one could ever replace or completely fill. YOU need to believe in YOU.

2. Create Anything! 

Create. That's what you were born to do. It's what makes you who you are. If you don't feel like it, do it. Even if you’re in the middle of the internal dialogue that tells you not to create, just do it anyway. There are days - nay weeks or months - when I just don’t think I can. But when I do, I feel so much better. It doesn’t have to be Shakespeare or Van Gough, but something is better than nothing.

3. Talk To People Who Understand You. 

Surround yourself with people who you know are one your side: the close friends, confidants, or key family members. Hang with people who you trust, love and accept you for who you are. Bounce off them. Laugh, cry, commiserate or celebrate. Don't ever feel like you are alone - you're not. The Struggle wants you to feel alone: get out of your loneliness and find someone to be around.

4. Look Back To Move Forward. 

Take time to remind yourself of your successes, not matter how big or small. Open up old programmes. Listen to demo recordings. Re-read that winning review. Find that random email where you were told what you did was great. Read the newspaper article that had your name in it. Get on Google and see if something you've done has turned up in some weird and wacky place (Trust me, that works! I've even found some of my very old recordings on sale in Canada!) Take a moment to reminisce and appreciate what you’ve already achieved, and how far you’ve already come.

5. Do What Lights Your Fire. 

Disappear for a bit. Get back to what makes you, you. Get out, get away, get lost, get found, get grubby, get to the beach, the bush, the highest mountain, the deepest cave. Go and do something that inspired you or helps you shake off how you’re feeling. See a show, an exhibition, a band, a movie, a ballet, an opera, a museum. Catch a sunset, a sunrise, an asteroid shower, a wave, an eclipse, a snowfall, a thunderstorm. Put yourself in a place where you will smile and breathe and feel good about yourself, and get back to what inspired you to be creative in the first place. Clear your head. Clear your mind. Clear your heart and soul. Treat it light clearing the crap and making way for a resurgence of awesomeness.

6. Realise That What You Do Actually Matters - a LOT. 

This is a very basic principal that we must remember. What you do, in the way you do it, matters. If you have touched the life of one person, then you have made a difference. That's an incredible gift: a power that goes beyond understanding. And it wasn’t someone else who did that. It was you. That’s the true strength and gift you have in being a creative being: to do something that matters. Don’t discount those closest to you — the reason they stand with you is because you’ve already changed their lives for the better.

7. Finally … Hang In There. 

Please: DO NOT GIVE UP. I know there’s a part of you that’s exhausted, pissed off, abused, angry, struggling, disillusioned, or just feeling crappy. I get it. I absolutely empathise and sympathise. I've been there, and I'll be there again. So, hang in there. Give it time. Give it all space. As Billy Joel once said, “There are times when you need to let the field lie fallow” — which means to let your harvest area take a rest and regain its nutrients and vitality. We all need a rest from time to time. So rest.

I hope that these words help someone out there: and in a wonderful way, they’ve helped me just writing them.

Cheers,

Drew