The Secrete of Happiness

The Secrete of Beaning Happy

When I was 10 years old, things started shifting between my parents and not for the better. One day, they called a family meeting. We had never had a family meeting before. They sat my two younger brothers and me down, and they told us that they would be divorcing.

Of course, my brothers and I were devastated. The entire world that I knew was crumbling apart, and yet this was not the worst part. You see, my father Kalo, had always been the happy-go-lucky guy. The divorce was extremely hard on him, and he was becoming more and more withdrawn. He was less engaged with my brothers and I, he had less energy, and I barely recognized him anymore. I remember thinking to myself, “Is this my new dad?”

One day I woke up at his house, my brothers were still sleeping, and I could hear music playing downstairs, which was very unusual. And there was my dad Kalo, dancing and making pancakes. I said, “Good morning, Dad.”

“Good morning, Tommmy.”

I said, “Wow Dad, you seem really happy today. Are you happy because it’s your birthday?”

“You know Tomy, I have had three of the worst years of my entire life, and I woke up this morning, and I thought to myself, ‘I’m not going to have another bad year.’” I saw my dad choose happiness. So what did he do exactly? He started doing things that he enjoyed doing.

I learned as a young teenager that happiness is a choice, and it’s something that you do. I knew that there had to be more to life, and I knew that I had to choose happiness for myself. This decision took me from living in Asendabo to Jimma town, where I worked with students one summer. And also this experience led me to a 15-year career in student service at Jimma University that I was passionate about and successful in.

A happy life is not about feeling happy all the time. This is a huge misconception. A happy life has more positive than pain. We all have pain. A happy life has meaning and purpose, and a happy life has different experiences that make you psychologically rich. I’m going to share with you four things and connect them to science of happiness. And I want you to think about these for yourself.

 Choice number one - Spend a lot of quality time with your friends and your family.

The Harvard Grant Study of Adult Development, an over-80-year study, proved that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships directly affect our health and our happiness. Human connection is the number one predictor of happiness.

 Choice number two is getting a good night’s sleep. This means sleeping seven to nine hours a night, every single night. Research shows that sleep increases our happiness, improves our brain functioning, and improves our overall quality of life.

 Choices number three - Moving at least four times a week. Exercise increases our happiness, increases our brain functioning, and decreases stress and anxiety.

 Choice number four is doing work that you like, that is meaningful to you.

It means doing something that connects with your values, piques your interest, and engages your moral compass.

We all have different set points of happiness based on our genetics and our life circumstances. So, you have to be grateful for what you have and what you receive, and you will experience true happiness. As you can see, happiness is ultimately a choice.

Thank you.