The Power of Self-Love and How It Can Transform Your Life

I wake up every morning and tell myself

Good Morning, Gorgeous

Sometimes you gotta look in the mirror and say

Good Morning, Gorgeous



—Good Morning Gorgeous by Mary J Blige



I recently heard the above lyrics from the Mary J Blige song "Good Morning Gorgeous." The lyrics hit me on a deeply spiritual level.

Blige goes on to sing:

All the times that I hated myself

All the times that I wanted to be someone else

All the times that I should've been gentle with me

All the times that I should've been careful with me

Why did I hate myself?

I think we can all relate to this level of self-loathing and self-neglect at some point in our lives. And like Mary, many of us are on a journey back to finding and learning to love ourselves again.

It is for this reason that I feel self-love and self-care should be our main focus (yours and mine) and priority for this year, 2022.

Like most of you, my life is full of demands.

I know you all have demands and stress coming from various areas ranging from a demanding job, maintaining a well-kept home, being an attentive and emotionally available spouse, and a loving, caring, effective, and consistent parent.

Once you get through being a superhero in all of these areas, there is seldom much time left for self.

Personally, I know the toll that focusing on everyone and anything besides yourself takes on your mental, physical, and emotional health.

Over the years, I’ve worked myself to the bone, struggled to maintain work life balance, and made everyone but myself a priority.

But this year I am resolving to change that.

This year, (and every year going forward) I am making myself a priority…no more self-neglect.

This year, I am prioritizing more time for rest and relaxation and doing the things that make me happy.

I am making more time for sitting at the park reading my favorite book, more time to learn new recipes to cook my favorite meals, more time for massages, pedicures, manicures, and binge watching my favorite movies on Lifetime and Netflix (smile).

This year is all about a return to self.

Working a full time job and maintaining a busy home doesn’t allow me the time to do these things.

So incorporating these things will be an adjustment. I’ll have to do some maneuvering and move some things around and delegate my responsibilities.

But I’ve already made up my mind that I’ll do whatever it takes to make this happen.

I’ve already decided to bring in a cleaning lady twice a month.

I’m also going to start paying someone to mow the lawn and keep up with the landscaping.

And I will be taking my dog to a local pet care service for grooming and cleaning services.

I’ll also be calling on friends and family members a lot more to help me with some of my everyday responsibilities…even if it means paying them at times.

Yes, I’ll be out more money…but for what I’m saving in terms of my sanity, it will be so worth it.

What are you willing to sacrifice to free up your time and to make some extra room for self-care and self-love?

What could you adjust or realign to create that space?

Could you get another parent to drop the kids off to their extracurricular activities on some days so you have some extra time to read your favorite book?

Could you get the grandparents to step up and babysit during the daytime to make room for a midday nap ??

Can you get your spouse to wash the dishes and clean the kitchen more throughout the week to make time for that luxuriating bubble bath???

How can you make this goal of self love and self-care a reality?

No excuses…

And while this return to self may feel selfish and counter-intuitive, I can assure you that it’s not.

It actually goes back to the analogy of putting on your oxygen mask before you place the mask on others.

This way you have something left to give others.

After a while, this dedication to self can and will begin to pay off in other ways as well.

Life is always observing and listening to us. We put out messages (non-verbal) that communicate how we feel about ourselves and what we’re willing to accept through our actions.

And on a spiritual level, these messages tell the universe what we are willing to accept--which is ultimately what we receive, even if it is not what we actually want.

We live in a holographic universe which means that what we feel on the inside will be reflected on the outside.

So when we put ourselves last, don’t make time for the things we love, and run ourselves ragged, we are communicating to the universe that we are not valuable or worthy and that our needs are not important.

The universe in turn reacts to this message.

It feels we are communicating that we don’t need, want, or deserve the best. Then we wonder why life continues to give us outcomes that we don’t want.

We don’t realize that we have sent out a signal saying that this is what we want, even though this couldn’t be further from the truth. Because we often continue to do the things we don’t want to do, we create more of the same. Sadly, it is a continuous cycle.

But I urge you to join with me to break the cycle this year.

It’s time to communicate a clear new message.

Affirm to yourself and the universe, “I am worth it!” “I deserve it!”

But even though self love and self worth affirmations are definitely helpful, they won’t help if your actions don’t line up with your words.

The best way we can truly communicate our knowledge of our own value and worth is through our actions.

In order for you to begin to live and manifest your best life, your actions must clearly align with the message that you are worthy and valuable.

Once you begin to get back to doing the things that make you feel alive, happy, passionate, and free, the universe will take note and begin to reflect back to you a life that lines up with the message that you are worthy of every great thing you desire.

Then stand back and watch how the universe realigns to provide you with an amazing life experience that mirrors your new found knowledge of self-worth and self-value.

It’s already started to pay off for me.

I made some adjustments and started taking a few minutes every night to write down what I'm grateful for in a gratitude journal, I started taking 30 minutes of quiet time to center myself in the morning before work, and I also started taking relaxing walks in the park in the evenings!

These are my results:

Gratitude Journal–I've noticed that I don't spend as much time wishing that my life was different. I'm happier with the current state of my life and I realize that I've actually been blessed with a lot.

Quiet Time Before Work–I’ve noticed I’m a lot less cranky in the morning. I'm also more calm and less agitated throughout the day.

Relaxing Walks in the Evenings–I’ve noticed that I have a lot more mental clarity and less anxiety. My pants are also fitting much more comfortably and I’m sleeping better.

So, as you can see, my commitment to self-love and self-care is already paying off! I feel so much better, and God and the universe are rewarding me as a result.

I want the same for each and every one of you.

It’s time to love and choose yourself again.

It’s time to live a full and satisfying life.

It’s time to treat yourself like the Queen or King that you are!

I promise you won’t regret it because you are worthy and you deserve it!



Let’s continue to do it together!



Good luck!