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The Little Black Book

And so it goes...

By Eric AndristPublished 3 years ago 10 min read
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THE LITTLE BLACK BOOK

By Eric Andrist

Wednesday, July 11th

My birthday. Today I’m turning 59, the last year of my youth. Oh sure, you might say that being in your 50’s isn’t really being young anymore, but it’s certainly not 60. 60 is when you officially become old enough to say you went to Bingo and won a new crockpot without raising an eyebrow.

Yep, today starts the countdown to young mommies telling their kids “not to stare at the old man…it’s rude.”

Whoohoo. Today’s my birthday...yippee.

On another note, I was standing in line at the ATM today when someone rushed by behind me, nearly knocking me to the ground. When I turned to give them hell, they were gone. But on the ground, about 5 feet away was a little black book. I was pretty certain it hadn’t been there before. A number of people walked right by it, apparently not even noticing it was there. I made a mental note to check on it after reducing my nearly non-existent bank balance.

The shock of having only $11.89 left in my checking account nearly made me forget about the little book as I lumbered out of the bank. When I reached for the door to exit, the image of the phantom figure came hurtling back into my brain. I turned around, and sure enough, the little black book was still there, just being stepped on by a woman yammering on her cell phone.

Oh good, she didn’t pick it up.

I walked over and picked up the book. I flipped it open, fully expecting to see the phantom’s name and address right on the first page, but it was blank. In fact, the whole book was blank.

And now it was mine.

Monday, August 11th

One month down, eleven more to go. I can feel my body aging, my hips calcifying and ready to shatter the next time I fall off of the stool changing a light bulb. The gray in my beard has spread across my face not unlike the Covid pandemic.

59 and counting. I never understood why my mom always said, “It’s hell getting old,” but now I know all too well. Work is hell, too, and today I was ready to quit. As I sat eating a McDonald’s Happy Meal (which is all I can really afford right now), bitch Donna, my co-worker, came flying into the office squealing about winning the lottery. Turns out the bitch won $20,000 on a Scratcher.

Good, maybe she’ll retire. Please retire, Donna...please!

I picked up another Happy Meal on the way home from work and was just about to sit and savor the deliciousness that it is, when I noticed the little black book I had found at the bank, sitting on my kitchen table. I hadn’t given it another thought since picking it up in the bank...I don’t even remember what I did with it when I got home. I know, though, that I hadn’t put it on the table where I would have seen it every day since.

I reached over and picked it up. It seemed to almost vibrate in my hand, sending a not so unpleasant wave through my arm. I opened it up to the first page, fully expecting to see the emptiness I had seen before.

Now, written in handwriting only to be rivaled by my Aunt Evie (one of those aunts that isn’t really an aunt), were the words:

“It’s the first of many lucky days. Life is good.”

I was excited for a good 10 seconds, not unlike when you open a fortune cookie with a message you actually like, but the excitement was gone as quickly as it had arrived, only to be replaced by fear.

Had someone been in my apartment? Who had written this book?

I flipped through the pages and found all the rest to still be blank, but between the last page and the back cover, was a lottery ticket. I looked around my tiny studio apartment again, fully expecting to see the phantom figure standing there, all in black, with big, white, grinning teeth, but no one was there.

I grabbed a knife, licking off the butter left from my morning toast, and scratched the coating off of the lottery ticket. As I scratched the last little bit of messy gunk off of the card, adrenaline started rushing through my body.

The last number to be revealed was $20,000.

I dropped the ticket onto the table and just stared at it for a whole minute before I grabbed my coat and ran down to the little market on the corner. I handed the ticket to the cashier who congratulated me on my winnings.

I don’t remember anything else until I sat down here tonight to write this in my journal.

What the hell had just happened?!

Thursday, Sept 11th

Big news, but first an update.

The little market couldn’t give me $20,000 cash, so it came a few weeks later in the form of a check from the lottery commission. I rushed down to the same ATM where I had found the little black book and deposited it right away. My balance on the receipt read $20,002.

Out of habit, I stopped at McDonald's and got myself a Happy Meal on the way home, not even thinking that I actually could have afforded a Big Mac!

Before bed last night I looked in the mirror, and the gray in my beard didn’t look all that bad to me anymore...it was actually very distinguishing. All of a sudden the frown lines on my face didn’t seem all that deep anymore.

I decided to celebrate with a bowl of ice cream and crossed to my little dining table where I spotted the little black book. I had opened it a few times in the past month but found no further entries. I flipped it open and found that the first page was now blank again, but the second page now read (in the same beautiful script):

“Big promotion at work coming your way.”

Interestingly, today I was promoted to district manager, and I’m now Donna’s boss.

Imagine that.

Friday October 11th

Things are looking up! With my promotion came a hefty raise in salary. I’ve broken the every-night-Happy-Meal tradition and am exploring the fine dining choices available at the local Popeye’s and Arby’s (love that horsey sauce!).

On the work front, things are brighter as well since Donna up and quit. It seems she thought she was next in line for the promotion I got.

Tonight when I looked in the little black book, the first 2 pages were now blank, and the third read:

“Say goodbye to pesky annoyances.”

What the hell???

Saturday November 11th

Even though I have no family, wintertime and the holiday season has always been my favorite time of year, and this was the first time I didn’t have to worry about my finances, I felt I could finally really enjoy it.

I was now making enough money at work to move out of my semi-furnished rathole of a studio apartment and have a nice, but modest condo. The only furniture I’ve purchased so far is my bed, so it’s still a little desolate. Fortunately, there's a peninsula in the kitchen where I take my meals and check the little black book every day.

Last week I got to wondering what would happen if I wrote something in the book. So, I grabbed a pen, and in my best approximation of fancy script, wrote:

“Will I ever meet someone to spend the rest of my life with?”

The next day when I checked the book, the words I had written had disappeared. But tonight when I looked, page 4 contained the words:

“You will meet the love of your life very soon.”

I think I’m going to sleep very well tonight.

Sunday December 11th

Last night at the office Christmas party...well...I met someone!

I don’t want to jinx it, so I’m not going to say too much. I haven’t been this happy in...well, I’ve never been this happy. I need to calm down, I don’t want to count any chickens unless I know I can actually fry them.

When I opened the little black book tonight, the fifth page revealed:

“You’re welcome. You will experience even more happiness.”

The words filled me with an immense warmth until I noticed that the writer’s perfect penmanship was a little messy this time.

Hoping he/she had also just returned from an office party and was just a little tipsy.

Monday January 11th

The new year! (making horn blowing sounds as I write).

I normally hate the whole New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day debacle…it can be very depressing. My mom used to tell us as kids that whatever we do and feel on New Year’s Eve, is what we will do and feel for the rest of the year. I hated that! It depressed me and then of course set me up for being depressed for the rest of the year.

I had a fricking great New Year’s Eve this year with my office romance.

Tonight, when I looked in the little black book, written on page six, in an even messier script than I found the last time:

“If you want forever love, get a dog.”

What?! I’m not even a dog person, why would I get a dog?

I grabbed a pen and attempted to write in the little black book, but the pen wouldn’t write. I found a pencil on my recently purchased desk, but when I started to write, the lead broke off.

Now I’m worried.

Tuesday February 11th

Last week the office romance came to a crashing end when I spotted the love of my life making out with someone else at a cafe across the street from work.

As I walked home in devastation, a lady was standing outside my building with a box full of golden retriever puppies.

I’m now a dog owner.

Page 7 of the book, written in scrawl that appeared riddled with pain said:

“Life is what we make it.”

I named the puppy Lucky.

Wednesday March 11th

Work is going so well that Lucky and I bought a house, and we are a very happy couple. I’ve enrolled him in obedience school, although, he couldn’t be a sweeter and smarter dog. The owner suggested I train him as a therapy dog and take him into hospitals to provide comfort to patients.

I’m going to do that.

Tonight, page eight in the little black book simply read:

“Good.”

Thursday April 11th

I think I’ve learned that it’s okay to be alone, that alone doesn’t have to mean lonely. Between the new job and Lucky’s new role as a happiness ambassador, I’ve met so many new and wonderful people. I love the new house, but am so busy with my new life, I rarely see it.

Life is good. Whooda thunk it?

Page nine (in barely legible script):

“Think outside the box.”

Now I’m confused.

Friday May 11th

Are you ready? How’s this for thinking outside the box? I quit my job today.

Yikes!

I know, I know, it sounds crazy. But, I was offered a job running the therapy dog program.

I’m so excited. Who knew I loved dogs this much?!

Page 10, (hardly legible):

“And so it goes…”

Friday June 11

Next month I will be 60, and I’m ok with that now. I’m an adult, I’m happy, and I know more about myself this year than I did last year. I can’t begin to explain the little black book or what’s happened because of it.

I am grateful, though.

Tonight, the book was empty, except for the very last page which read, in beautiful script:

“Pass it on.”

And so I will.

healing
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