The Light at the End of the Carnation

In this picture you may see nothing more than a flower, and a obscure Yellow dress that I’m wearing. Although it seems bizarre and at best a mediocre picture; but this picture is so much more. It’s the epitome of when, so called “time freezes”. It symbolizes that moment when you just stop, and take in the beauty of the scenery or object in front of you.

On the day of this picture, I had endured yet another long day at work; every second, minute, hour, all my emotions were to be bottled up and hidden to a point of insanity. It didn’t help that this particular day happened to be Valentine’s Day, all day I seemed to be miserable because of it. Even on the drive home from work, I obsessed over how unforgiving, dreary, and cold the Colorado weather was. The more I thought about the weather and Valentine’s Day, the more agitated and depressed I got; but luckily I had finally arrived home not long after. It was a relief that I could finally relax, and forget about what the day represents. Severely exhausted, I attempted to get out of my car and walk to my front porch. I only managed to sit down with a bag full of presents in one hand, and my phone in the other though.

It seemed like years had passed, where I just sat there staring at the bleak sky. Becoming bored, but not wanting to move; I reached into my bag of gifts from work and pulled out a Carnation flower. I stared at it for a bit, twirling it in my hand, and observing all the unique colors. Even though the flower had the colors of the Rainbow, it looked so dull and lifeless. Like it was some fake representation of a true colorful Carnation. It reminded me of myself and how I fake my way through life. In mid thought, all of a sudden from the corner of my eyes a light like I’ve never seen shown down on me. To everyone else it was just the Sun peeking out of the clouds, but to me it was a flash of light erasing all the darkness in my life. I sat there in awe unaware of anything, all my senses, thoughts, and feelings were frozen. I couldn’t advert my eyes even though it burned. All I could do was stare at the sun weaving through the clouds, and take in the rays that engulfed my body. Even the Carnation that was carefully placed on my lap, had glowed with life while it soaked up the sun’s rays. I felt so many emotions in that moment, but the one that I felt the most was Love. The unfamiliar emotion flooded my body to the point where, I started to cry and smile like a lunatic. I began to feel grateful for my life, the people I have in it, and the world I live in. The light pushed aside all the darkness until there was almost nothing left. It was a phenomenon that truly changed the way I thought about everything, and It amazes me how just seeing something so simple could change my entire perspective. I hope in the future when I head down a dark place again, that this picture will remind me the way I felt on that day.

Eventually I regained control over myself, and sprung my hand down to grab my phone. At first I wanted to take a picture of the Sun, but it seemed too cliché. Even if I wanted to take a picture of It, my phone wouldn’t get a good one. That’s when I came up with the idea to capture a picture, of the Sun beaming down on my body. It worked out kind of perfect, because the Carnation was set so beautifully in my lap. Also the entire photo is bright and filled with light, with only the smallest shadow shown underneath the Carnation. Which is a perfect portrayal of what happened to me, and why I wanted to encase this moment into a picture. I’ll be honest, I totally used a filter app called HUJI and the filters from Instagram. I love the effects it gives pictures, sort of like a vintage look; except I wanted it to have clear vibrant colors. My phone isn’t super cool where it has an exceptional camera, so I worked with what I had on my phone.

I know it’s quite ordinary, but to me this picture hold’s more meaning than anything I’ve ever taken. It’s a symbol or depiction of a moment in time where my reality paused, and I was able to get out of a really dark place. I hope that this picture inspires people to find the light, hope, or beauty in the simplest of things and to fill their hearts with love and happiness. Thank you for reading my story and looking at my picture!

- Chloe Haywood