THE 'HOWS' OF MIRACLES

JUST LIKE HOW THE DISCIPLES WERE PETRIFIED AT THE ‘GHOST’ WHEN THEY SAW JESUS WALKING ON THE WATER, WE WERE ALSO SHOCKED AND FRIGHTENED WHEN PANDEMIC CAME.

Observing how our economy went down, how works and livelihoods stopped progressing and how countless lives were lost, these are only a few of the terrifying causes of the pandemic that we can see with our naked eye. But closing our eyes, we feel the deeper blow that slams the heart—the pandemic of fear.

As the CoVid casualties continue to rise unimaginably, the ground of security and safety we used to live in trembled on our feet. The ordinary life we are living was shaken and the plans we were slowly establishing vanished like smoke.

In this new normal, a common citizen like our family lived our daily life walked as though we were walking in darkness and full of worries. Unsure in every step, we became lost in the life we grew up with. Suddenly deciding without assurance and other option. The unseen hope has become our anchor.

This is the reflection of our family’s situation when the first lockdown came. It is still vivid in my memory how my parents lost their resolve like a melted candle after the local government banned the operation of tricycles—our only source of income. In that moment, anxiousness reverberated in our home. Even the promised financial aid failed to give assurance. Only prayers have become our weapon in the battle of hope and doubts, and it did not ever fail.

The table that we thought would remain empty was filled with blessings from unexpected situations.

Every time our remaining resources are near their depletion, there is a miracle of provision right on time.

In more than three lockdowns enforced, we were filled with tears of joy while wondering how we never felt hungry, how we never ran out of resources, and it will all point in God’s goodness.

JUST LIKE HOW PETER BOLDLY AND MIRACULOUSLY WALKED IN THE WATER WHILE LOOKING AT JESUS, WE WERE ALSO OVERCOMING THIS PANDEMIC MIRACULOUSLY WHILE PLACING OUR FAITH IN GOD ALONE.

Because pandemic has changed our daily routine and decreased our chances in outside life, our time for ourselves and family relatively increased. My focus on the things I have neglected before was awakened. My desire for quiet time and meditating on His words were slowly renewed. Now that we are away from outdoor distractions, I regained the right management of my priorities. Instead of dwelling in anxiousness, we strengthened our faith by praying together as a family. Instead of counting the bad news, we recounted every blessing from God. From the smallest to the biggest thing that I am grateful for, I jotted it down on my journal, reading it again and again with His promises.

There, the inner struggles of ‘How can we survive this’ turned to ‘How will God turn this into His miracles.’

HOWEVER, TRIALS CAME AND TESTED OUR FAMILY JUST LIKE HOW PETER WAS FRIGHTENED BY THE WIND THAT CAUSED HIM TO SLOWLY SUBMERGE IN THE SEA.

When August 2021 came, members of our two closest relatives felt the symptoms of the COvid-19 virus. What caused our great distress is the fact that it is the family where my grandmother lives. At the age of 83, my Lola experienced the worst symptoms among them. Therefore, we eagerly prayed for the swab test to result negatively. Days passed filled with worry and burden in our chest. And on the day of result, all of them tested positively just as expected but miraculously, our Lola was the only negative.

With another answered prayers, our joy is uncontainable. Our relative's whole family were immediately transferred to the quarantine facility while our Lola was left in our care. However, the longing and gladness we felt slowly dissipated as soon as we saw her. I cannot forget how my heart ached at the view of her weakest state I have ever seen. She cannot even get up on her as she lay helplessly. Her joyful aura before seemed like a distant memory. It became hard for her to talk and recognize us, and it was worse when she did not even want to eat. At that point, I felt the worry enveloped my being.

Not long after, this worry turned into exhaustion. Then, the remaining joy from what we thought a miracle vanished when we one-by-one we slowly felt blow of symptoms.

THE FEAR THAT RATTLED PETER CAUSING HIM TO SLOWLY SUBMERGE IN THE SEA DESPITE THE PRESENCE OF JESUS IN FRONT OF HIM SEEMINGLY CAUGHT US OFF GUARD.

After learning that the previous swab test result of our Lola was a mishap, we shuddered at the quiver of our faith. She tested positive but the medical staffs’ neglect led them to give the wrong result. I can still remember the suppressed sob of my mother while she looked after my brother and me who both had a high fever at that time. My heart crushed because I was too weak to comfort and help my mother who’s taking care of my Lola as well. Deep inside, I really want to blame those irresponsible staff for this failure that made us suffer. Pain both physically and emotionally drained me in that period.

And when I was almost at the point of succumbing to my weakness, I silently cried out to Him, and I was answered.

JUST AS PETER REMEMBERED THE PRESENCE OF JESUS AND QUICKLY ASKED FOR HIS HELP, WE FELT THE OVERWHELMING HOPE BLOOMED IN OUR BEING.

There is no distance that can hinder a family from praying unitedly. This is what we learned as we tried to pray together virtually with our relatives from different part of the Philippines. We draw near to God and lifter our burdens and needs and gratefully praised Him for His goodness. During that time, we witnessed the blessings of nutritious foods and medicines bestowed upon us.

Every uttered prayer restored the promises of our Great Healer and made me cling unto it. No, I am not letting any wind of doubts stray our eyes away from our Lord.

JUST LIKE HOW JESUS IMMEDIATELY RESCUED PETER AND SAID: “WHY ARE YOU DOUBTING, O YOU OF LITTLE FAITH!” WE WERE ALSO SAVED AND AWAKENED.

Truly, there are times where the answer to our prayer is different from what we expected. Every 'hows' of His miracle or failures we see cannot always be grasped by our limited wisdom. No one can comprehend what the mind and ways of our God. But everyone who completely trust our Omniscient God is rest assured will never be ashamed and forsaken.

At first, I cannot understand the revelation that God impressed in our hearts through pandemic after experiencing the blow of Covid-19 in our family. But after witnessing how our precious Lola miraculously walked again, I knew in my heart that God’s plan is beyond us. We realized that if our Lola tested positive at first, she would be brought to the hospital and isolated while no one would closely look for her. She might be swallowed by fear and worry without anyone by her side. But God let her to be within our care where we did our best to cheer and pray for her.

In summary, the way to know the ‘hows’ of His miracle is to trust that He is working even when we do not see it.

He is working even when we do not feel any of it.