The Heart Knows Best

Ending anything in life hurts. Whether it’s a job, a marriage, a friendship or anything else that doesn’t have any benefit in your life. BUT...when you end something and it hurts way TOO much, it’s time to re-evaluate and assess the situation. When the crying and feeling of loss outweigh the relief and freedom you are supposed to feel, maybe a mistake was made. Time to re-think the decision. Ask yourself the questions that maybe you didn’t ask before. Maybe you think you thought everything through and had your mind made up. You were strong in your conviction and knew what had to be done and then something changed. Maybe that ‘something’ was as simple as a word or a look. Maybe it was a feeling that crept up on you and caught you off guard. Maybe it was just a gut feeling. No matter what it was (or was not) now you are left in limbo, totally confused and unsure of what to do next.

You tell yourself over and over that you are sure you made the right choice. Did what needed to be done. That it was the best thing for all involved. You had yourself convinced that you were strong enough to take this step. You chose to walk away from something that obviously meant a lot to you at one time, now you seem to feel that it isn’t a satisfying situation any longer. Ask yourself the following questions:

Did you honestly try your best to hold it together?

How important was it to you?

Will walking away make things better or worse?

Did you thoroughly discuss the situation with the other party?

Was it an agreement between both?

Where do you see yourself months or years from now that you no longer have that in your life?

How does your heart feel?

What does your gut tell you?

Are you being petty and selfish?

Could you have handled the situation better instead of walking away?

Did anyone/anything else influence your decision?

Did you think of how your decision would impact those around you?

I am sure there are dozens of other questions you can ask yourself. There are no right or wrong answers, just be honest with them.

So now you talk to close friends and maybe family because you have doubts about your decision. You listen to the input and take all into consideration. Some people have your best interests at heart and others maybe not so much. You weed through the bullshit and listen with your heart. Yet you still wonder and ask,”Where do I go from here?” You wanted to appear strong, confident and in control but to reverse your decision would make you appear weak and indecisive. In most situations, and I mean most, once the decision has been made and put into play, there is no going back! In some cases there is still hope for another chance. It would take a total change of the playing field. Both players need to be on the same team and the rules need to be clear, crystal clear! There is a great strength that comes from admitting I was wrong. It takes an even stronger person to say I’m sorry and please forgive me.

So you wander in a haze. To everyone around you, you seem fine but the internal struggle is sometimes hard to hide. You usually have that 1 person in your life that ‘just knows’ when something is eating at you. She/he truly cares about you as a whole. They would not throw any shit at you and you trust them with your heart. You confide in her/him and they give you advice that is unbiased. They have nothing to lose or gain with that advice. Ultimately, the final decision becomes yours and yours alone. Consideration needs to be taken for all involved. After enough careful thinking a decision will be made. It may be that you choose to stay with your initial intentions or a total turnaround may happen and there will be another chance. Whatever is chosen must be respected by all involved, no matter how painful the result is. Everyone has a choice, it may not be a popular one but still they are allowed to make and own that choice. So listen to your heart, it really does know best and make a decision that is right for YOU.

Much Love, G.