The Gift of Giving Back

Dear Readers,

What do you think of when you here good deeds. I automatically think of people saving cats and dogs from rivers or fires. I think of people helping elderly cross the streets. I also think about people mowing peoples lawns.

I think of people coming together and just being human. People refer to it as good deeds. This is what I think of as humanity and being human. Helping others and being kind. In all honesty their isn't alot of it in the world, which is why people praise people who do acts of kindness towards others.

I believe that the nicest thing a person can do is smile and be kind to others.

I haven't experienced a lot of kindness in my life and sometimes don't know how to recieve it, or what to think about it when I do. I've lived a life not many people really know about and trauma and abuse can take its toll on a person, however, it also makes you understand that sometimes what you go through isn't something you want others to go through.

It has become sort of like a lifes mission of mine to make people's lives easier, even if it cause me more pain in the long run. Some might say it is what I was birthed to do regardless of personal struggle or emotional pain.

I have experienced trauma. I have experienced pain. I have lived in a broken home. Mind you, the life I have lived can't be compared to other peoples lives or situations.

My mother used to tell me that I had it easy as a child, growing up. That some people had it worse than I did and I should be grateful for what I have. Mind you the woman herself has had a sheltered and very mundane life when compared to my own. Mind you she has no idea about the life I have lived, due to a few reasons she just doesn't really care about real life stuff. Even if she has expereinced trauma in her life.

She is the type of woman who values socitey over principle. Many people are guilty of this. As I speak I am also guilty of this, but I am in the process of putting things into motion, which will hopefully change the world for the better.

Ever since I was little I have had a dream about a world without hate, without predjudice, without rape, without child rape and child abuse. I have dreamed of a world where everyone can laugh, love and live the lives they desire and have the true happiness they deserve. I dreamed about a traditional lifestyle, like the one's my ancestors new before colonialism. I dream of a healthy world. Free of pollution, crime, sickness, animal abuse, deforestization.

Manly I dream of a world that doesn't run on money or the concept of money. Where everyone is equal and has everything they truely need to live. To survive. To thrive.

It can be best described in the bible as heaven on earth. I don't know what story, chapter or phrase. I am not a religious person by any account and do not believe in the "holy word of God." I do believe in spirituality and faith and acknowledge that religion exists, not just one, but many. Many Gods and Goddess, and higher powers.

I believe that I will eventually get where I need to be to do what I was born to do. To manifest my dreams into a reality and along the way I can do little things here and there for others, with what I have. While I dream, plan and scheme at how to make them a reality.

My father passed while I was incarcerated for drug related charges. I took the oppurtunity to get sober. Get my highschool diploma. Access whether or not I was an alcoholic and truely discovered that I was and some of the triggers that led me down that path. Got some post-secondary education. Vocational Training. All to secure a solid foundation for when I was released so I wouldn't fall back into those same habits. Relocated to Ottawa for a fresh start.

The point I was making was when he passed, I recieved a large sum of inheritance. Now living expenses are riduculously expensive in ottawa and upon release I took up the habit of smoking again, which I am passively working on quiting again. I say passively in the lossest sense possible. Since the pandemic started my habit has increased ten folds, something I have just realized when looking at the expenses spent on cigarettes.

When I moved to Ottawa I seen a lot of homeless people in Ottawa. When I lived in Sarnia, pre-incarceration, it wasn't something I noticed or it wasn't something I was actively aware of. In Ottawa, especially in the downtown core people sit on the streets and ask for change.

It was here that I decided to buy gift cards for Tim Hortons, on top of buying people food from places in the downtown core. I remeber I seen a buy on the street with his beggars cup and watched as people walked by him without paying him an attention. At this point I was getting quite irritated with people and how they could just ignore someone like that and throw nasty comments at him for his situation. So I said screw it, if no one else is going to than I really don't mind.

So I decided to buy him a meal from McDonalds. There was a guy behind me in the McDonalds line, who purchased a coffee. Clearly coorporate and clearly on his break. Well he seen me give the guy the food and drink. Ironically enough, the next time that I seen that man I was on my way to a parole meeting and he came out of the McDonalds with a bag of food for one fo the people on the streets at that time.

It felt nice, to see that. You could tell the look on his face was shook when he seen me. Like it wasn't something he normally did or maybe it was the look I gave him. Who knows.

So I started doing this often, not to get others to do it, but because it was something that I enjoyed doing. It isn't much, but its something nice at the same time.

Between Parole meetings and counseling appointments I soon realized that I didn't have the time to stop and get someone coffee or food. Especially when your late to a meeting or trafic is a bitch.

So I started buying Tim Horton's cards regularly. It was much easier for me to pre-buy cards and made me feel better knowing that if i seen someone on the street I could pass them a Tim Horton's card instead of just walking past them on my way to an appointment.

One of the things I hate about our society is that it is run on dollar signs. Some survive, while others don't. In part this is why I blew through my inheritance so fast. I figured the less money I had the better. I have been on welfare before and feel comfortable with what I know. I don't like having money and seeing people who don't, especially when I know how to survive with next to nothing. I have become a master penny pusher.

I moved to Ottawa to make change. Become a community leader. Get more connected with my culture and the relations between Indigenous peoples and Canada to start making a difference. Not just for indigenous people, but for all people, however, when I got here I realized to I needed a proper education, steady income and community connections. All of which I was lacking when I moved here. Ontop of this I was stuggling with massive addiction issues.

I changed my goals and my plans, but the dream remains the same. I started to write down ideas. Money makes the world go round unfortunatly. You need money to make money as they say.

The plan: Save up enough money to start an online buisness. Use the money from the buisness to fund non-profit organizations and buisness. Start more buisness and make more money and use that money to fund more non-profit organizations and buisness.

I am currently researching what it takes to start a non-profit buisness and all the information you need to get it up and running.

1- Ecosystem Restoration: a non-profit that will help clean up the water and surrounding areas from pollution from chemical dumping and chemical run-off in the water.

There is a graduate certificate from Niagra Falls called ecosystem restoration, which teaches you how to survey the earth and what planets to use to restore the natural enviornment natuarally.

I am hoping that this non-profit could collaborate with Niagra Falls to fund people without the proper educational background into getting the certificate if it something that they are passionate about. Will possibilities to branch globablly.

2- Housing First: a non-profit that will provide people with free housing, access to resources, community garden, mental health and addiction services, education and vocational training.

This is a pet project of mine, however, money makes the world go round. There for income properties for profit would be need to fund this non-profit. Which would allow me to purchase apartment building and condo's and renovate them to suite the above needs. Main level would have multipurpose rooms, education rooms, service rooms, ect with the units on the upper levels.

These are the two non-profit ideas I am exploring now. Which I hope to have situated once I have income to make them a reality. These two non-profit ideas would be just the beginning to making my dream of heaven on earth a reality.

Gotta start somewhere right?

Thanks for reading,

Hope my story inspires you too get out there and start thinking of ways you can make the world a better place.

Until next time!

- Samantha