Taking a step back now is a step forward in the future.

Have you ever felt trapped in a conversation or within your inner thoughts? Like, always trying to find someone or something to blame for your sadness or anger… It can be quite a difficult situation to untangle yourself from, and sometimes everything just seems so bleak and hopeless. But instead of accusing and blaming others or even yourself, I have found that it would also be more helpful to shift my focus from the “why” to the “what”, in other words, to let go of the past and focus on the present. That is no easy task and takes a lot of courage and humbleness to observe your inner self.

And that’s why some relationships may not work out or be long lasting for you, when we focus on our emotions too much to the point that we forget what the matter is at stake. Taking a step back when emotions run high can seem daunting and generally alarming, but it is an essential step toward healing when emotions have cooled down and left you with mental and physical exhaustion. I have often found myself engaged in the endless searching of whose at fault, without reflecting upon myself. This is the point when I realize that “the victim mindset” would only help me in the short term for self pity, but it would only harm me if I continue to cling onto it. Taking a step back from the fuss going on in your head, and try to consider what to do next within this relationship or with your self is so much more important than winning in an argument. Because no one is perfect, and it is more important to accept that each one of us is flawed in some way.

On the other hand, if we continue to immerse ourselves in that emotional wreckage , nothing uplifting would occur out of the blue. But when we choose to take a step back in a tense relationship, we are telling ourselves that we have the ability to be humble and accepting of others and ourselves. We would not feel so insecure and alone anymore, and discover that there would always be someone who loves you, if you choose to love yourself fully first. Instead of putting the finger on the ones who have hurt you and expect them to heal you, we need to heal ourselves. Because the ones who have hurt you may also be carrying a lot of emotional bandages that they don’t know how to share or to be healed from.

Therefore, when we choose to take a step back from our pain and to see what we can do to heal others, we can find a way to heal ourselves too. The chances are, the person you choose to love and care for during his or her emotional low points, would also come to be by your side during yours. We are meant to be caring for the people around us, and I don’t like to call that “sacrifice”, instead I think it is a journey toward healing from all of our emotional wounds. We can only grow if we choose to back away from the past, including the lies that we have being telling ourselves. Because those lies kept us away from finding out the truth and the “what to do now”, that would really set us free. The world is more beautiful with love and gratitude. And you are able to do that even if you have been hurt by someone who hasn’t realized the consequences of his actions. You can be your own hero, so stop waiting for someone else to be.