Surviving the Pandemic

First, my sincere condolences to anyone that has lost a loved one during this tragic time. You have a heavy burden and I wish I could take that away. I sympathize with ya though.

During this covid 19 pandemic, I too suffered from extreme depression. In my small circle was my mom, my daughter, my now x gf and my xxgf …. Hahaha yeah, another story on that some other time…

Anyways, my mom had her house and I had mine. In my mom's house would be my daughter and myself. In my house would be my daughter, my now xgf and my xx gf . We all kinda roamed from one house to the other and never really left to go anywhere else except the store. We all suffered from mixed emotions. We all felt displaced. Things were not “normal” anymore. As the red flags went up so did the anger the frustration and the depression. We started to bicker, we started to distance, we started to learn everything wasn’t okay.

My then xgf, is paralyzed from the ribs down and she pretty well needed me to do everything. Long story short, I was overwhelmed. I had no creative outlet. I had no positive energy. I started letting everything go and started sleeping. Anyone that has suffered from depression understands where that is headed. For disaster! Needless to say, we have since split ways...

Throw my kid on virtual learning into the mix and wow. Her grades were slipping tempers flaring. I had to step up and own it. I started doing more. I took a lot of small simple tasks. I started seeing progress. I took on a little more, more progress until all her grades were back up and most of the tempers flares have left.

As time went by and with help of a lot of distance at times we figured out what works best for us. During all the process … was positive thinking. I started with the smallest, tiniest, and easiest thing. I felt I could accomplish something so I found something positive and ran with it. Grab the bull by the horns and run. Don’t worry about where your going, just run…

I chose to hunker down when I was in fear for my life. I socially distanced, panicked a little, and then tried to find normalcy. I found creative ways to still do what I needed, and also to do the things I love. I know everyone sees covid as this monster. In many ways, I do too, but I try to see all the positives that have come from this pandemic instead. Although I have been extremely stressed out, I have also gotten closer with my family. I went into this pandemic depressed and now I can say I am happier. I feel like sometimes we all tend to take things for granted. We may get caught up in the norm within our lives we don't stop to think of others. This pandemic is bad. It's been bad and I'm sure covid 19 is not going to die off any time soon. We can either let this virus destroy us or we can bounce back. We can either focus on all the bad from this time, or we can take one positive thing from it. The choice is there for the taking.

A lot of controversy about where the virus came from. Does it matter? Perhaps, and perhaps not. The virus is here, their virus will spread, the virus has mutated, and several versions will remain. What's important, is how we deal during this time and how we treat others.

In a lot of ways, I choose to be thankful for this pandemic. The social distancing has taught me a lot about the ones closest to me. I have a new appreciation for teachers. I have rediscovered an old love. My love of writing that is. I would like to think I have become a better mom, a more caring and compassionate person.

The virus has not been easy for anyone. We all have been thrown outta our "norm" and had to figure things out the best way we knew how. For some maybe they had to use unemployment while others created their employment. Some may have found themselves with a new baby, while others have filed for divorce.

Don't get me wrong, I'm like the rest of ya I want the virus gone. I want the world not to feel so scary anymore. I want to be able to do more without being scared to death. In all-out honesty tho, I'm not sure things will ever go back to the normal we once knew. Now, sure jobs will come back and masks will go away. At what cost though? Maybe we don't need to go back to the world we once knew. Shouldn't we keep this compassion and desire to make it on our own though?

I'm kinda nervous yet anxious to see how people will recover from the pandemic. I think we all will be a lot stronger and driven. I just hope we can keep our families close and still feel love for the neighbor. I have hope. I know that even though things may never be the same we will overcome any obstacle that comes in our way. Best wishes.