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Suffering by Questioning

What really causes suffering? Is it a simple answer or is it a paradox?

By Brittany TinderPublished 4 years ago 3 min read
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I used to question everything. Every. Little. Thing. And not only did I question all of it, I resisted. I slithered backwards into my safe haven of negativity, pessimism, and cynical thinking. I evaded any sense of clarity, denying that nothing could ever be simple for a radical mind like mine.

Simple: a word I questioned particularly and frequently. How could someone not have worries or doubts? How could anyone's life ever be "simple?" I believed it was an impossibility.

Of course it is a paradox and "simple" is merely a word created to identify a concept. As deep as you could dig to even simplify it, all you will get is a concept. This simplicity, I so persistently analyzed, was something I thought one implements into their lifestyle by NOT digging deep, and by hovering on the surface level of life; terminating the mere act of addressing the complex; forcing refusal to anything that isn't easy-breezy. But this kind of "simple" doesn't even exist beyond the conceptual.

I have found simplicity by, in fact, not analyzing it at all, and by mirroring that in my ways in which I go about life. In this my thoughts aren't amplified. My worries are less.

Most if not all of the suffering we experience can be traced back to the very thoughts in our head. When I realized this for myself, I took a big step back and began to observe. Who was my mind telling me I was? Who was I believing for so long I was supposed to be based on my thoughts?

I wasn't a worrier or a victim to my insecurities. My anxiety never really had any power over me except what I gave to it because of certain thoughts. Thoughts such as, "Oh, I'm not good enough," or "I'm completely worthless."

Where had that been coming from? In order to know I had to really dig deep. In order to reach simplicity that I didn't have to seek and work so laboriously for, I faced many not-so-simple facts about my own emotional turmoil and what it was caused by. Was life happening to me or was life happening as me? Turns out this was based on my own perspective at the deepest level. If I viewed life as something that was happening to me then I was severely misunderstanding my power and the connection I was able to have with life. My power was much too focused on what was happening around me, in the physical sense, instead of what was happening within me.

If I took a step back and looked at what was really going on regarding my mind and my thoughts, I would see that the source creating the problems was my false sense of self: the ego. As I started to realize this, I stopped playing the victim. I came to know that life was always happening as me, and it was happening based on my perspectives and conceptions. They were negatively and rooted in fear and anxiety, so life had been mirroring them.

So, I took a deep breath and made tremendous changes.

I had to walk the walk; practice being authentic with myself and concomitantly, with the world. I had to be present within and without. Part of that took a strength I never knew I had before. All the years I spent telling myself I was a victim to my own mind readied the most genuine part of me for reveal. It all pieced together the ability for me to see past the conceptual into truth. To glimpse it little by little until I could hone it all into one. One truth.

The truth about truth is that it's just a word like all the rest, but for those who have seen it in action, have witnessed it as more than just a name, they are not more sure of anything.

It's like this: as long as waves have been crashing, as long as stars have shined, and as long as the universe has been expanding within, without, and upon itself, you and I have also been. Always.

healing
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About the Creator

Brittany Tinder

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