Stop Striving for Happiness; Try Being Useful

I’m a camp host.

You know, I’m one of those people who go around a state park in a little white truck with a park logo on the doors picking up trash, mowing lawns, and making sure everyone is quiet after 10 p.m.

That’s me.

In my daily work as a camp host, I meet a lot of people. Some are vacationing, some are full-time RVers, and some are living in their car or van because that’s all they’ve got.

I enjoy taking the time to visit with all of them. Because I sincerely want to learn a little about their lives, many of them will talk to me about why they are traveling and how they live.

It’s interesting.

Some campers only stay a day or two. But If they stay for more than a couple of days, I have a chance to get to know them better. It gives me a chance to dig a little deeper into their lives.

I especially enjoy talking to people who are living in their car or van. People call them homeless or transient. I think of them as people who’ve hit a rough patch in their life. So given the opportunity, I’ll ask them about their lifestyle. Because people rarely pay any attention to them, they’ll usually talk to me.

In my experience, they usually don’t talk about happiness or sadness. At first, I thought they would complain about how life has treated them. Some do, but most of them talk about the things they’ve done in life, their family, and their accomplishments. And as they talk about their past they almost always become more animated and excited. It’s fun to watch.

As I was thinking about this story, I thought about happiness and usefulness. And what brings fulfillment to a life?

Sunny Is happy and photographs his life

One of the most interesting people I’ve met while being a camp host is Sunny. He’s been living and traveling in the same small trailer for over 30 years, and he loves it. He has a pension and some social security so he gets by financially. During the day, he’ll sit in his van and read or play games. At night he sleeps in his trailer.

If you met him, you'd like him.

During the spring, summer, and fall, he stays at our park for a week each month, so I’ve gotten to know him really well. Or so I thought.

One day as I drove past his campsite, he flagged me over. He said he wanted to show me something. I waited while he went inside his trailer, and when he came out, he was holding a large binder that was full of photographs. They were stunning. And Sunny was the photographer.

He told me that for over three decades he’d traveled all over the United States. And during that time he’d seen more historical locations that most people ever will see. But his greatest joy wasn’t seeing something new; it was photographing it.

And that’s when he showed me that he didn’t have just one binder; he had dozens of them full of thousands of photographs. Each picture was meticulously labeled with the time, date, and location of when and where the photograph was taken.

It wasn’t possessions that made him happy. It was being useful as a photographer that made him the happiest.

Sunny isn’t a young man, so I imagine he’ll pass away one day in his little old travel trailer surrounded by a lifetime of photographed memories.

Pursuing happiness isn't about what you own

Think about all the things you’ve done in pursuit of happiness.

You’ve bought expensive things only to find they weren’t as exciting after a short while

You’ve worked hard at a job to become a “success” only to find success didn’t make you happy

You’ve taken your family on fun-filled vacations but after it was over the fun ended

You’ve found the love of your life but soon learned he or she wasn’t so perfect after all

“It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.”– Dale Carnegie

There’s nothing wrong with owning things or having a great job, or taking expensive vacations, or finding love. But if you think they will bring you lasting happiness, you’ll be disappointed.

Like most people, I’ve been shocked to hear about an actor committing suicide. I’ve thought if I had their money and fame, I would be happy for the rest of my life.

It doesn’t work that way.

Knowing that the work you’re doing or the time you’re taking is making your family or another person happy is a key to your own happiness.

It’s the little things that count

If you want to make someone happy, do something special for that person every day. It doesn’t have to be a big vacation or something expensive. Those are things that most of us can only afford to do once in a great while. But little things can be done every day.

As I write this I’m thinking about some of the things I do for people.

Leave a “Just Because” card on a pillow

Send a text message to let someone know you’re thinking of them

Pay for someone else’s meal

Tell a police officer, veteran, or active duty person that you appreciate them.

Take some time off to go for a ride with someone special

Call to encourage someone during a tough time

Do the laundry, cook a meal, or do the dishes

Hold a door for someone

Do something to make another person laugh

One of my favorite things to do is send a text with an emoji. It never fails to get a laugh.

There are a lot of things you can do for someone that may seem small, but they might be just what that person needs at the moment.

And you’ll get something too. You’ll find it makes you happy.

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Earlier in this story, I told you a little about Sunny. He doesn’t have a lot of possessions, but he never fails to stop me in my daily rounds to tell me something encouraging. And when he gets ready to move on, he goes around empty campsites and cleans up any mess. Other campers will tell me that he’s always smiling and offering to help.

Sunny has learned that pursuing happiness doesn’t work.

Being useful in helping and encouraging others is what makes him happy.

It works for Sunny.

It can work for you.

Stop Striving for Happiness; Try Being Useful orignally appeared on Medium