Confidence is something that is hard for many individuals. Most of us have our own insecurities that we try to hide and let the dwell and boil inside our veins. I am no exception to that. Over the years, there have been countless of things that have filled my being with self-doubt making me feel like the dust that is under our bed that we all neglect.
My body image is one of these insecurities that I had never been able to truly overcome. Somedays of course are easier than others regarding this subject. However, when you're raised in an atmosphere your family has constantly told you that
"you're gaining weight or that you're not thin enough to wear certain clothing like a bikini"
it gets in your head. For me, even my good days where I feel as if I look good in the skin that was blessed upon me, there's the shred of doubt that is echoed in my head that are shaped by the voices of my parents.
However, despite the doubt that I continuously work to minimize, meeting new individuals that became my support system has helped, along with one special person in my life that has showed me it's perfectly okay to be okay with the body that I have, where my curves and muscles meet.
This is the story behind the photo that was taken off my Samsung. It's a story of working towards being okay with who I am, the skin that covers my bones. It's a story of having to constantly work to find moments of happiness within yourself.
The picture that is presented was taken with no filter, but with HDR on. It was of me walking toward the Pacific Ocean on a recent trip to the Big Island, Hawaii. The picture above shows the original picture that was taken. The only edit done to it was some cropping to focus not just on the beach (no matter how gorgeous it is) but of me- to celebrate the individual.
So that's the story of this picture. It's the journey of finding contentment within myself and how my body looks and feels. It's not perfect by any means, and I would be lying to say if I was in love with myself every day. However, I'm working on it and each day gets a little better- even the harder days get a little easier.
I am grateful for the individuals in my life who have shown me that it's okay to be me. And as for the voices that still echo in my head that fill with the venomous doubt- I hear you and I know you exist, but I won't let you get me down anymore.
So without further adieu, I welcome you all to me- in a vulnerable state where I'm wearing something I was told to never wear, and I'm okay with it and okay with how I look. I'm not a size 0 or even a 2. I have scars and cellulite, but I work hard to maintain the body I do have, and have progressed this far.
I hope whoever is reading this, when there's doubt in your insecurity, you too can work to minimize it. I can't say it will go away completely, but maybe one day you can be at least comfortable with who you are- all your greatness and any shortcomings people said you had.
Thank you and have a blessed day.
Remember to choose kind.