Seek Out Your Fire

We as humans require a sense of purpose. Without purpose, we run the risk of going aimlessly through life making it more difficult than it needs to be.

A sense of purpose could be as simple as a series of small goals accomplished throughout the span of a single day. It can also be as complex as a collection of daily tasks completed throughout a portion of one’s lifetime - all with different outcomes.

As you push through your journey, you’ll come to learn that there’s hardly anything more valuable than learning to communicate. Why is this important? Well, communication isn’t purely verbal; although verbal is the easiest one to develop if you’re blessed with the gift of speech. The life you live carries meaning. This may be through the words you speak, your actions, thoughts, body language, and even in the absence of all of these.

This is easy to see if you consider the consequence of your actions or lack thereof.

What many people fail to understand is that communication is mostly comprised of listening, sensing, and understanding; not just word vomiting all over the place.

“Fools speak because they have to say something; the wise speak when they have something to say.”

So in order to find the key to your specific purpose for the day, the week or even the rest of your life, you must hear and feel your instinct thoroughly before acting on it. Then, you’ll have a better understanding if it has a positive impact on you and those around you.

Where To Begin

Now, how do you actually know what to listen and look for? What if just like many other men and women out there you’re simply overwhelmed by the incessant noise of the world? When do you find the time to want to introspect and figure out the reason why you’re fortunate enough to wake up each day?

It’s true: life is designed to challenge you every passing moment. While it’s not totally impossible to keep up with its ever-changing ebb and flow, doing so is likely to drain you sooner or later if you don't narrow things down to a more manageable size.

You’ll meet people who just “go with the flow” and “roll with the punches”, and this in itself is useful as a short-term tactic to overcome uncomfortable situations.

Likewise, this is why it’s important to find and cultivate the “fire” within you. Not the one that other people try to instill in you, but the one that comes naturally to you. It will anchor you when the world around becomes too fast, too chaotic, and just unbearable.

Passion and Consequence

In my book, one of the pillars I urge all people to develop is courage.

I break down courage into two parts: passion and consequence. So, your “fire” - passion in this case - is what ignites your search for purpose. The consequence is ultimately the compass that tells you if the choices you’re making to reach your purpose are misguided or not.

You can be passionate about one or several things all at once. It’s important that you look into what comes naturally to you and explore ways of making them useful to you and others. It isn’t something that will happen overnight, but it should be at the top of your to-do list.

A prime example I can share is that it took me almost two decades to find out I had a passion for words, expression, and overall communication. The spark was there since birth and it took some trial and error to fan the flames that made up the last 10 years of my life.

By mastering the craft, my passion burns brightly and lights the path to new opportunities for me and others around me. I can put into words what others often cannot, and can do so with little effort. It’s natural to me, and so you too should take the time to explore what comes naturally to you to make life a little more pleasant.

On the other hand, I'll also admit there were times when I used my passion for words to speak ill of others, to judge, and to wound. This clearly had terrible outcomes and I had to learn to control my fire so that it didn’t burn down the bridges that life so generously put before me.

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

Finding Your Fire

You probably don’t like to write. You might be more inclined to make music, build things, or even destroy them.

You can seek help with this from other people, and sometimes an outside perspective might be helpful in pointing out what you can’t see. So long as the feedback is sincere and you’re capable of receiving the feedback, you can make great progress. Below are some of the methods I would recommend to speed up the process.

1. Removing Oneself (The Inward Method)

To find yourself, you almost always have to remove yourself from the noise of the world entirely. Look inward. This could mean spending several consecutive days, weeks, or even years in peaceful solitude. To clarify, I don’t mean entirely depriving yourself of human contact. While doing so might be helpful for your particular case, if done so recklessly it can prove to be more troublesome than it’s worth, so tread carefully.

The idea behind this is to focus on what naturally comes to you with little to no external influences. In theory, if you were to wake up on any day, you want to know what are you most likely to do regardless of weather conditions, opinions from friends and family, if money were no object, so on and so forth.

This process of 'elimination' clears the path for anything to come at its own pace and all that's left for you to do after that is gently accept or reject it.

This isn’t to say you must remain in this place until you get some kind of answer. It's more of a marathon than a race. It must be taken one day at a time without any sort of specific ‘deadlines’ or hard goals. Adaptability is key here, and if the outside world calls for you, then don’t neglect it.

There’s a grim truth about solitude and it is that it can be addictive. It can be especially dangerous if you begin to experiment with substances in times of boredom or inactivity. The devil dances in idle minds, after all.

With that said, if you catch yourself becoming far too disconnected, check back in with someone before resuming your journey.

2. Pay Attention to Synchronicity (The Outward Method)

It’s easy for others to tell you who they think you should be, but it’s often the subtle details which go unnoticed that have the greatest impact. So rather than forcing things to give you answers, let the answers present themselves and point you in the right direction.

Not many people really care to grasp this concept since it calls for nearly “superstitious” thought, so I won’t push things too deep. It may not happen often and it may not happen to you in particular, but I assure you that as wild as life seems to be, there is some order to it beneath the surface.

It’s not always as obvious as the sky above. This is why I want you to consider the little pieces of the puzzle that fall into place when they do show up.

If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, there are ways to tell the difference between a coincidence and synchronicity. The latter often has a predetermined reason, and its timing or frequency has a fantastical outcome that is very much in line with your journey. Synchronicities are incredibly specific; almost frightening enough for some to overlook them purposely and avoid falling “too deep” down the rabbit hole they neglect to understand and acknowledge.

To give you an idea, let’s say you find a wallet on the ground. There is no predetermined meaning or reason behind it, no backstory, no person nearby looking for it to be returned, and either keeping it or letting it go would make little to no difference for you.

This lack of specificity and significance lets you know this could be a lucky coincidence. Just you being at the right place at the time.

Synchronicity on the other hand would be the same scenario, except that the money you found is just enough to cover an unexpected expense you incurred previously. Maybe, you might even cross paths with the original owner or someone who knows them, presenting you with a moral obligation to return the wallet. It’s these outcomes that let you know you might be dealing with more than just luck and closer attention to detail must be given.

When it comes to passion, you may have found yourself wandering aimlessly trying to figure out who you are. You try new things, take on new challenges, meet new people, but you still may feel like something is missing.

This is why you should take time to explore how some things simply fall into place and needn’t be forced. They’re like little breadcrumbs that guide you along and can prove to be very useful if you give yourself a chance to examine them closely.

You don’t need to be religious or “spiritual” to recognize when things line up in order for you to progress. Pay attention to the external signs that constantly point you in a certain direction; it’s one of the ways you can identify what you’re destined to accomplish.

3. What If The Fire Is Too Dangerous? (The Torchbearer Method)

So let’s say you found your passion… But its outcomes are not so beneficial to you or others. Let's imagine that your newfound natural talents are mostly evil. You find joy in hurting others, destroying things, burning bridges, etc. This is a challenging position to be in because now it’s no longer you against you, but you against the world in every sense of the word.

Most will judge you and urge you to change who you are. You’re likely to walk through life feeling even more entangled in the darkest corners of yourself. But you need not worry too much, so long as you make the conscious effort to redirect your passion toward something useful.

In one of the examples I used in my book, I pointed out how even the most violent men can become great athletes - like cage fighters or boxers - given that they’re disciplined enough to turn their passion into something more of a sport or martial art.

If you’re passionate about certain vices - sex, drugs, alcohol - it doesn’t mean you have to go around exploiting these to their ugliest extremes. Instead, you can use these fires to light the way and educate people on the topics; maybe even help them escape their own demons by understading yours a little better. It takes a little more effort on your part, but it’s the effort that grants you greater purpose.

It takes great discipline and self-control to examine the dangerous corners of your passions, and these could be multiple ones. But when you’re in a better position to understand them, you can then choose to become a guide for others. This is how you can pull yourself and others out of dark places, turning what is often seen as detrimental into something positive.

In Closing

Finding your passion(s) should be on your list of top priorities. It’s not something you should be actively seeking every waking second if it’s far too inconvenient. Still, it's something that you should consider devoting time and effort to.

It's good to remember that passion is in the realm of extremes; so it should be sought out and examined carefully.

Passionate journeys will often be painted as pointless by people who had to be 'comfortable with the uncomfortable’ for long periods of time. To their credit, there are times when sometimes passions must be cast aside to bite the bullet and go along with less desirable ways of living to achieve certain goals.

In the end, I think it’s safe to say that most of us would eventually like to pursue and live a life where comfort and challenge are well balanced. So if you have the privilege to choose, go with what comes naturally to you first. If you find your passion to be too troublesome to master, by all means, explore the other avenues.

Lastly, remember it’s not a deal-breaker if you can’t figure all of this out. Not knowing your purpose or what you’re passionate about doesn’t mean you’re doomed to fail in any other pursuit.

Don’t neglect the challenges that stand in your way or become too complacent with your passions. People will be naturally more attracted to pursuing things that you may not particularly like or enjoy. Our differences are what make us unique. It’s worth it to learn about these so that you may better understand yourself and the people of the world around you.