Seeing the essence of the problem

Recently, a mother talked to me. She was troubled recently because her child was in 11th grade, but her child was becoming very rebellious and hated studying, and her child had recently talked to her again about dropping out of school, and she didn't want her child to do that, she wanted her child to stay in school. I then asked her, "Do you know what your child likes? She said her child loves rap and has wanted to be a rapper since he was a kid. Then she asked me how she could convince her child to stay in school.

Depending on the specific problem we make a specific analysis, when there is a problem we have to see through what the essence of the problem is. Let's analyze this issue specifically.

First, let's analyze the parents' point of view. Parents think that their children should continue their studies, should finish school and go to university, get a good job or become a boss or something like that, but what is the reality of the situation? The child doesn't like to study and doesn't even want to continue school. This situation is very different from what the parents think, and there is a huge difference between the child's current situation and the parents' ideal, and this difference is the problem that bothers the parents.

Secondly, let's analyze the child's perspective. The child's dream has always been to become a rapper, he doesn't like to study, maybe he doesn't want to go to college at all, but under the pressure of his parents, he has to go to study temporarily, and there is a huge difference between the current situation and the child's ideal, and this difference is the problem that bothers the child.

In the end, we can conclude that all problems are the difference between the status quo and the ideal. Simply put this difference is the problem itself, and behind the problem is the difference in the respective ideals of the parents and the child. The parents want the child to continue to complete his education so that he can continue to go to a good college, while the child wants to be able to choose what he likes to do and wants to become a rapper.

Now that we know what the problem is, how do we go about solving it, and is there a two-way solution to the problem? Or can we get one of us to give up our aspirations and respect others?

The first solution: is for the parent to give up his or her ideals and respect the child's idea of doing what he or she likes to do, becoming a rapper, and supporting him or her completely and unconditionally.

The second option: the parent is firm in his or her ideals and tries to convince the child to give up the child's ideals and go back to school to finish school and go to a good college.

The third approach: both parties compromise, the parent supports the child and helps and supports the child to become a rapper, while the child goes on to finish school and go to college for the parent's ambition.

The first two methods are difficult, parents are not willing to let their children give up their studies, and children do not want to give up their ideals, then we can try the third method, my suggestion is that parents can let their children enroll in music-related art colleges, so that the child that is to complete their ideals, into their favorite trajectory, parents also completed the ideal of wanting to let their children continue to study.

Many parents in the real world want their children to make some sacrifices, who want their children to walk on the path they have planned, who do not respect what is really in their children's hearts, who sometimes only care about themselves and ignore the children themselves. Because this mother is like this, in the conversation with me she felt that the most impossible way to execute is the first method, to make her give up her ideals, and the method she is most satisfied with is the second one, to make her child give up her child's ideals so that she can accomplish her own.

Hobbies are the best teachers in life, if there are no hobbies, then what meaning exists in life? Without pursuits, it is like a walking corpse without a soul.

So, hobbies are really important, it determines what kind of life you have.