Ruining Your Life

A burning question for so many deep feeling empaths is, "Did I make the right choice?". Or "Did I ruin my chance/my path/my life?". These thoughts and feelings seem so valid in the moments when they cross the mind of an empath. If you can relate to feeling deeply for others and having big emotions you may be an empath, too. And if you are an empath, then there may have been times when you have wondered these very questions.

After making a choice in your life that feels like a big mistake or a big regret; if you have possibly done something that has hurt someone else or has somehow altered your path towards becoming the person you thought you would always become, you may be questioning your next steps. Have you ever asked yourself, "What would life look like if only...?". Have you ever told yourself any variation of, "This is how it has to be."?

If any of the above feels true for you, then I have great news. But first I would like to tell you a true, uncut story. When I was a teenager I struggled with low self-worth, cutting, drug use, and a lack-of-eating disorder. I also began to experience the harsher realities of life that my childhood bubble could no longer shelter me from - loss, molestation, rejection, and abusive relationships. All I could see was how much I had made myself unworthy when I finally began to let go of all of my vices and began to heal the deep emotional wounds.

I truly believed that I would never outlive my past. I allowed the shadow of my guilt and shame to dictate how I thought and felt about myself. I also allowed this shaming, guilt-infested shadow to dictate how I would allow others to treat me. And this went on for quite a few years. Until I began to shine light from behind this shadow and dissolve its suffocating fingers that pried at me and held me with a chilling grip. It happened all at once and slow-and-steady at the same time... But the important part is that it happened.

There are billions of people with billions of stories in this world. And the beauty is that you are powerful enough to choose how you would like your story to unfold from here. There are people who have been on the FBI's Most Wanted List who became successful entrepreneurs, like Kevin Mitnick. There are people who have gone from divorced and homeless to famous for the very thing their wife left them for, like Sylvester Stallone. People who were bullied have become well-adjusted, successful, married adults. People who struggled with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and low self-worth have turned their lives around entirely, like my story.

No matter what your story may hold, there is a person out there with a similar story who has written a different ending for themselves. And I would like to give you tools to do the same.

1. Know that you do not have to do any journey alone. There are resources like Victory Life Coaching, call centers, career centers, and counseling centers who are ecstatic to see you choose you.

2. Begin to imagine what life you would like to live. Imagine who you would like to be. And develop daydreams around what it would be like to live in that space.

3. Be open to receive new ideas, thoughts, ways of thinking, and lessons from others. If someone is showcasing an attitude, lifestyle, leadership quality, or anything that you admire, then begin to take notes about this. Observe how they speak, who they speak to, what they say, when they choose not to say anything, how they walk, how they dress... just observe the things that you admire.

Once you have surrounded yourself with the tools that are needed to process and move forward, getting there will happen all at once and slow-and-steady all at the same time. The journey is worth celebrating. And you are worth the journey.