Reigning Vs Living

Steven Grant read the emotions of his long-time friend facing him, then asked, “What is wrong now?”

“Why do you think something is?” Retired Football Hall-of-Famer Jason Miles demands.

“Well,” Steven said, easing closer, resting his elbows on his desk, “I am your go-to person when you have all things difficult in your life. And over the past fifty years, you have had a lot. The question I always ask is, why come to me for advice but never utilized them?”

Nodding, he pushed everything Steven said aside and complains, “Can you believe it, after more than thirty-five years of marriage and forty years together, Grace left me.”

Memories of warning him about his lifestyle flooded Steven’s consciousness like the water damage of the last big hurricane. He bit onto his tongue, halting the signal his brain sent.

His friend went on, “she said my regime has ended. I recall you telling me forty years ago when I sign the twenty-million-dollar contract, and they rejected you that my reign is beginning.”

Steven sighs and his instincts snatched control away from his tongue and release, “Some of us live, and others reign.”

“I am a king. So, what?” Brandon boasts, staring him down.

“Grace loved you from we were kids in kindergarten. You married her and had two children together. Then went out and fathered seven more with six different women while being married.”

“Isn’t that what kings do?”

“I wouldn’t know, but I do know that all supremacy must end.”

The fear on Jason’s face brightens like the sun after the clouds move away. As if all of his past sins and enemies launch an attack against him.

Steven pushed on, “You live your life as if you were the only human on the planet. You did what you wanted. When you want, with whomever you want without regard or care to the feelings of anyone.”

The panic extended across his features, and Steven advanced, feeding his rage. “Don’t feel bad. You aren’t the only one.”

Jason struggled with his emotions as reality brutalized his ego, then pain asks, “What have I done with my life?”

Steven grinned and notified, “You lived it your way, and you enjoyed it too. Some of us were living. Others like you were reigning.”

“Again, I am a king,” he stated, refusing to let go. “What are you saying?”

“You were a history major in college. You know your reign will end in two ways.”

“So, you are a prophet now?” he fought back.

“No,” Steven said. “But I, too, was a history major. History warns of the endings of tyrants. Their actions, choices, and decisions will imprison them, which have resulted in sadness, regrets, loneliness, and endless pain. The ones who are alive will die twice.”

His eyes widen as the dread on his face exchange places with the agony that was torturing his body, mind, and soul.

Steven remains on course, his eyes glaring at his friend, “Their first death is when their reign ends, and they must live with their past. Their second death is when the breath leaves their body.”

“So, I am alive on the outside but dead on the inside. Is that what you are saying?” Jason asked, his eyes red with fury.

“Grace left you, and none of your children wants to be around you. You have run out of subjects. Since you are still paying an enormous child support bill monthly, the little money you will have left after the divorce might not last too long. That is your first death,” Steven warns.

His face lined in torment, he wondered aloud, “How did my life get to this point?”

“I have been warning you for years,” Steven reminds him. “The man who lives only for himself will end up by himself.”

“What do I do now?”

“Your tenure ends, but your life didn’t,” Steven said.

Gazing at his childhood pal in desperation, he challenges, “How do I live now? Being king is the only way I can live.”

“I can’t answer that,” Steven said sadly, “For some of us, the memories help to keep us moving. But they must be reasonable and happy. We have been friends for more than fifty years. I know more about your life and the things you have done than Grace.”

“Yes,” Jason agrees. “You know me more than my wife.”

“You are still alive for a reason,” Steven encourages. “But only you can find that reason. It’s in you. You have to want it as much as you want to remain to be king.”

Silence hugged both friends, and Jason took a deep sigh, then release, standing, “So, my life now depends on a reason?”

“Every life has a reason,” Steven said.

“And death too,” Jason agrees, heading out the door.

Two weeks later, at the most prominent Baptist church in Atlanta, inside was packed to the capacity. Many dignitaries and VIPs from all over the United States came to pay respect to the great legend, Jason Miles. All of his children and the rest of his family sat in the front row. Steven stared, scanning around for Grace. She hasn’t returned any of his calls after her husband’s death. But his Godson, Jason Jr., the oldest, did.

At the end of the ceremony, before the pallbearers did their jobs, a distraught voice said through one of the microphones, “It’s my time to speak!”

She got the attention she demands, as all eyes gazed at her, standing beside the Minister.

“Your king killed himself!” The congregation gasps. “Yes, he did,” she assures everyone. “He did because he didn’t know how to live like the rest of us. He decided that if he can’t be a king, his life meant nothing. Most of you in here were his subjects. You worshipped him and allowed him to treat you like peasants. You all contributed to his demise. Steven,” she called out, glancing around. “He left a note to tell you that he didn’t find a good reason and goodbye.” She pauses, allowing her tears freedom. The congregation waited eyes glued to her. She went on, “You were the only friend he had that wasn’t a subject. For years you try to get him to live like a man, a father, someone’s brother, a husband, your friend, and a human being. Did you know you were the last person he spoke to before he ended his life?”

The tears massage her cheeks, wiping them away, she continued. “He shut all of us out for the last ten days of his life. For all of you in here who are reigning, use Jason Miles’s life as a reason, an instrument, a way to stop reigning and start living before you forget how to live!”

Some of us are living. Others are reigning. The sad part is during their reign, they were tyrants. History has preserved the ones with a title. E.g., Kings, Emperors, Lords, Generals, etc., The average humans you and I know who reign, their tyranny is remembered and often repeated in their future generation.

They will die twice. We allow them to live twice by keeping their memory alive while some imitate their actions. But their past actions should be lessons.

You and I know many humans who reign. Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby are the two most famous now. They are still alive, living their first death.

Life is for living. Live a good one!

Thank you for reading this piece. I hope you enjoyed it.