Reconnecting to My Feminine Energy & Womanhood

My current journey has been exploring why I feel disconnected, asking for help and reconnecting to the parts of myself I once left in the dark. Along the way, I have learned that I am an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) and an HSS (High Sensation Seeking).

Learning and reading about HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) has been emotional and overwhelming but it has also been a huge relief. What I once viewed as flaws or all the stories I believed of being "too much, too sensitive or too intense" I realize now that I am a sensitive person and this comes with many gifts I have yet to fully understand.

This chapter of my life has come with many doors that I am ready to finally open, acknowledge and take on.

How I have yet to connect with myself,

• Continuing to connect with my Feminine Energy/Womanhood.
• Connecting to my body-visualization, being present, being/connecting intimately with myself (a returning to home), connecting to my intuition and what feels true for me.
• Feeling my feelings and acknowledging where in my body I feel them or where in my body I hold onto them.
• Making time to process my emotions and feelings. (The best way for me to do this is through writing)
• Most importantly it is connecting to my inner child.

I was recently inspired or moved to log into insight timer and subscribe to a mediation called "Coming Home To Yourself," by Sarah Blondin.

I was drawn to this mediation because my returning home is returning to my inner child. It's about healing her and integrating her loving and free spirit heart.

When I think of Higher Self my thoughts are consciousness, unconsciousness, playful, free, observant, unconditional love, femininity, masculinity, authentically showing up as myself, and most importantly it is being present, living in the moment or living in the now and allowing myself to flow.

I have welcomed and embraced living a life of observing my surroundings, authentically showing up as myself and being playful. However, there are pieces I have yet to welcome or let in because of fear. I interpret this fear as wounds I have yet to heal within my inner child. She was free, feminine, masculine, curious, living in the moment and allowing life to just flow. Somewhere along the way instead of nurturing those parts of her she became conditioned.

My returning to home is supporting, acknowledging and integrating who I am now (all the wisdom I have gained from my experiences) with my curious, playful, free spirit and loving-youthful heart.

Now that I have acknowledged this and have brought it to the surface...I find myself resistant.

My resistance comes from fear and being comfortable in the space I am in again presently.

Fear of letting go and trusting again.

Fear of the space between the old and the new. The unknown-the space of "nothing" and everything. A space of potential and possibility.

The fear of opening the door, walking into this next chapter or journey and second-guessing if I am ready to welcome this space of healing & growth, acknowledge all that is being presented and take responsibility for it.

I'd be lying if I didn't say that part of me wants to self-sabotage and run but I acknowledge that response is fear and an old behavioral pattern/response.

My mind is trying to keep me "safe" which also comes with a price-limitations.

My spirit voice/higher self has asked for this healing to occur and continues to gently guide me along.

I have kept a journal throughout this process so I can be mindful and aware of my mind vs spirit voice. I have also journaled about my thoughts & emotions throughout the day and where I feel or hold onto them within my body. I am also learning how to build on lower emotions, explore why I may be feeling certain thoughts or emotions, reframe how my mind processes my fears, rewrite my story and to develop a habit of acknowledging what it is I can take away from each experience.