People Think I'm Funny

When I talk people laugh. It’s always been that way. Even when I was a little kid I would talk about my life or make observations about others or the world and the kids would laugh. Of course, my world was pretty safe and small at that time so there wasn’t a lot to notice. But as I grew bigger and so did my life and the world I knew, there was more and more to make fun of.

I don’t try to be funny. Sometimes there is no filter between my brain and the words coming out of my mouth. Maybe it is a timing thing. They say that that is the most important aspect of comedy………timing. See, I can’t be funny if I try. I would never make it as a comic. I don’t know how they do it. When you bomb in drama, they forget about you. If you bomb in comedy they are embarrassed for you, for your family and for themselves for having witnessed it. It’s as if you see someone drowning and you are just so stunned you stand there and watch. Then you realize you can’t help because suddenly you’re in the water next to them and if you try, they will pull you down with them.

It always throws me when I am talking with someone and I am just babbling away as I do and suddenly the other person laughs. My brain tries to backpedal to remember what the heck I said that was apparently funny but my mouth has continued on with the conversation and now my brain has to try to pay attention again.

Sometimes I seem to be on a roll and people around me are smiling and laughing. Then someone will make the horrible mistake of saying I am funny. With that my mind will fly off in one of two directions. Either I will suddenly become extremely self-conscious, which is the most common reaction, or I will believe them and think, hmmm, maybe I should be a stand-up comic. Luckily my brain stops the latter option as quickly as it comes and I am saved from years of public humiliation and pity. The former renders me exceedingly quiet and I retreat from the conversation leaving those formerly amused individuals to wonder if it was something they said. (Yes, people, it was.)

I wrote a book, a memoir, and it was classified as humor. It actually ranked above the Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain on a best seller list of two-hour humor short reads. It was about my pursuit for love. This is what classifies as humor. My love life is amusing. I guess that explains why I am single.

The odd thing is that I cannot remember a joke. Not even a basic knock-knock joke. Never have been able to. Kids would tell these really bad jokes on the playground and I had absolutely nothing. I go to parties where people are telling the latest joke they heard on one of the many late-night talk shows. I don’t remember them five minutes after I hear them. The phone number I had in the sixth grade I can rattle off fine, a joke I heard just this morning? Nope. I see this as another sign that a retirement career as a comedian is not a good game plan.

So I will remain a simple woman who talks about normal things that others find funny. I hope I haven’t been delusional all these years and that they are truly laughing with me and not at me. That would be embarrassing and a little funny.

I hope you liked what you have just read. Please leave a tip so I can continue as a writer and I am not forced to try stand-up. I couldn’t afford the therapy.