Patience = Growth

During these past 7 months I have suffered, cried and questioned myself more deeply than I ever thought was possible. I understand that challenging times of hardship are lessons and opportunities to evolve into our intended higher selves but holy shit has it been HARD.

At the beginning of this journey, I was comforted by the naive assumption that I wouldn't ultimately be doing this alone, unfortunately that's not exactly how things have developed. I will forever be grateful for the unending support of my family and close friends following my the news of my unexpected pregnancy, however I've had to come to accept that as this was my choice, it is now a journey I begin alone.

The difficulty of the past 7 months has been exacerbated by the doubt, fear and uncertainty surrounding the approach to single parenthood. I never imagined myself becoming a mum, let alone a single mum at such a young age. I celebrated my 21st birthday in lock-down due to the Covid19 Pandemic. Instead of celebrating with champagne and a messy night out, I was surrounded by close family and copious amounts of Shloer. It was a lovely evening, but a far cry from what my 18-year old self imagined when planning the celebrations for my 21st birthday bash.

I feel like I’ve become a completely different person. Looking back 2 years, I don’t really recognize the girl staring back at me through my Snapchat memories. If only she knew how her life was going to irrevocably change, in such a short time. Maybe she would have saved a little more, spent a little less and generally made ‘better’ choices in preparation for motherhood.

One thing I know for certain is that I will never regret my decision to keep my baby. I knew from the first instance that my daughter’s life deserved a chance and that because the choices I had made had caused her to come into existence; it was now my responsibility to carry this decision on my young, definitely unprepared but wholly trusting shoulders. That instinctive recognition of understanding; the understanding that my life is now dedicated to serving a higher purpose, will always be my proudest moment.

However through this hardship, the formula for ultimate evolution has come to me;

Patience = Growth

Growth = Pain

Pain = Understanding

Understanding = Evolution toward our Higher Self

Patience equals growth; to understand deeply that life does not adhere to our independent timelines, no matter how much we wish it did, but that it is a stream of occurrences forever in harmony with the rest of the universe and that good things come to those who wait.

Growth equals pain; we already associate this pair with the term ‘growing pains’. Change is uncomfortable and growth is excruciating at times but it is necessary in the journey towards our ultimate evolution.

Pain equals understanding; suffering brings humility. If we are able to see past the immediate heartache and painful breaking down of our old selves, we can look forward and see through the pain are jewels waiting to be found; taking form in wisdom, discernment and a deeper knowledge of self

Understanding equals evolution; The understanding we glean through the whole process of experiencing hardship, learning patience and enduring growing pains accumulates into life-long pearls of wisdom and valuable progress toward our final destination; evolution towards our higher selves.

I believe that for those who recognize themselves as pilgrims through the journey of life; ultimately evolution is our final goal. If we are able to see the glorious opportunities for growth during our hardest times, if we have the ability to be knocked down repeatedly and each time bow our heads in gratitude rather than defeat then we are one step closer to our final destination where inner peace and eternal contentment await.