P90X-Getting Back to Basics

Well……now we know why my sister in law was having trouble breathing the last time that she, my wife and I did P90X together a couple of months ago. She was just diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer.

She never smoked a day in her life, she runs about 8 miles a day….5-6 days a week, lifted weights on a regular basis and taught PE.

The idea of her getting lung cancer is preposterous. She is in good spirits and will give it all she has when it comes to overcoming this disease.

The odds aren’t great, but the statistics for this disease are overloaded with people who are 60 + years old, ex smokers, diabetics, drinkers, overweight…basically really unhealthy people.

I prefer to look at her as though she were a female version of Lance Armstrong.

She is strong, she is confident and I am convinced that she will find a way to manage this disease and live a long and healthy life in spite of what she’s going through right now.

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This does give me pause as I think about how overweight I am and how fortunate I’ve been up to this point in my life to not have any serious health issues…..other than having really bad knees.

I’ve been struggling the last couple of weeks since Mel was diagnosed with this crap.

I feel good about her ability to rise above this…..she can do hard things, but I feel lousy about my ability to accomplish much of anything lately.

I’ve been playing racquetball for a few hours a couple of times each week, but I keep gaining weight.

I did the P90X Chest & Back DVD today, by myself. My wife’s schedule is still not real conducive to working out together.

Eventually we’ll figure it out and get into a routine. I haven’t been sleeping that well lately and have struggled to get up early enough to workout with her.

I’ve picked up more weight over the last month and am feeling again like a human blob….not so much fun, but it is what it is.

Business has picked up a little bit….at least there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

These days, I have to hold onto whatever little I can find to be positive about. It’s been a rough year and a half……time for things to improve.

I really thought that by now I would have reached my goal of weighing 210, but I’m worse off than I was…that’s discouraging.

This last month I’ve dipped into the comfort food and with the added stress of Melanie’s situation it seems like I’m automatically gaining weight.

It’s always been frustrating to me in the past when I would workout out regularly and eat right for several months and not really see any results and then in the space of a couple of weeks of not being vigilant I can pick up 10 to 15 pounds.

That’s what I’ve done this month.

I guess at the moment….I’m angry because I’ve gained back a bunch of weight……..but mostly, I’m angry that someone so healthy and fit as my sister in law could be affected by this bastard of a disease.

I learned a long time ago that life isn’t fair. My folks getting divorced on my 9th birthday wasn’t fair. I stopped expecting fairness when I was a kid, but this……this just pisses me off.

This has no business messing with my sister.

She should be the last person in the world to have to go through this. Her situation does put things into perspective.

I have no right to gripe about my struggle to get my weight into a respectable zone. She’s the one with the real struggle.

My problems are miniscule in comparison. I have no right to be frustrated about my own situation.

I have to take control of myself and make better choices……no one to blame for past failures but myself.

So I did my one hour of P90X Chest & Back……that’s the beginning of my latest attempt.

I cannot fail this time. I have to be strong for Melanie. I have to get back my good attitude. I have to do this for my wife, my kids, my family and for me.

Melanie’s in the hospital right now……she had an operation to keep her chest cavity from filling up with fluid.

She hopes to get home in the next couple of days. We’re fortunate to be living in a large home that has plenty of room for all the family that has come and will continue to come and show their support for Mel.

I’m blessed to have such a wonderful caring family that truly loves each other. We will all pull together and help Melanie however we can to overcome this cancer.

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