Opening My Eyes

I feel like after seeing what has been happening all around me, I grew up a little. From being a little girl taking care of my younger brothers and not discovering who really am, to making it to this year of 2018. I can understand why I am here and experiencing all these events. I used to think to myself all the time since I gave birth to my little girl, how am I, as an 18-year-old mother going to get through the struggles? I faced a lot of disappointments and resentment, but grew out of the negativity and saw there is a way to get what I want for my future and my daughter's. I couldn't face why the father of my child could not grow up and just be an adult until I faced the fact I can have fun in life without being judgmental and harsh of the choices he makes. As teachers and friends always told me: we are only humans; we all make mistakes.

After facing the facts face-to-face and turning it around into a positive situation, I am going to college online to at least get an Associate's degree and making a long-term goal to get my Master's degree. I thought I would never be able to go to college since I was thinking of my boyfriend as another child to take care of even though he is the one working for our family. I opened to see I did not always have to be home with my child because she is in early headstart, and she has the same schedule almost as elementary schools, except for the changing of diapers, sleeping schedule, and there are other younger kids with her. For all the support I get from the early headstart program to succeed in getting a better education, it is a real help for young teenagers that were pregnant in high school and going further. Even the financial support from my boyfriend is really helpful to be getting the things we need and that need to be paid off.

The type of person I was growing up to be was a little negative because of the characteristics I was taught. I did not have a lot of adventures growing up and just stayed home taking care of my younger brothers. It was both a great thing but felt like I was in prison, always staying home and was bored a lot. I could not understand myself personally but went along with what my friends liked to do, and the more I did stuff with them, I felt satisfied because I was getting to know myself more than just what I knew at home. I did get in trouble because I was the one who always had to stay home with the boys. After the long years of being with them, I know them more than anybody. They called me mom a few times but it is understandable now of why they called me that and it does not bother me anymore. I have that heart of a mother, and I care for all the kids as they are my child.

Family can help you.

The part of me that really needed to grow up was accepting the fact that I am a teen mother and it happened. Every day I looked at myself and thought "oh, my god, I am a teen mom." In this type of society that has freedom of speech, there were harsh words said, and sometimes on certain days, it replayed in my mind and I threw myself out of the window. I had some other girls in my class that were also pregnant, or even younger, that had children and now my daughter goes to school with them. I always thought it was a bad thing to have a child at a young age, but we make mistakes, which in this case, I had a small baby that grew into a toddler teach me that we are going to be okay and no one can take that from us. She made me think smarter, better, and bigger time-to-time, and that is how I decided if I can't go to college physically, I can go there digitally. There are always opportunities out there for anyone, and there are times you need to step up your game and take it.

Going for the Goals

As of the year 2018, I am going to an online college called Ultimate Medical Academy to get my Associate's degree in Health and Human Services. I am going because there are other girls out there like me that do not have opportunities that I have to do this. To see how many young girls do not have the resources I have and want to have them, I want to show them they can do it and have someone out there who supports or even pushes them to go beyond. We just need faith in ourselves and to open ourselves up to the positivity that is out there than what has happened in the past and let it go. Just learn from the mistakes and go on. Open your eyes and see what you can get from resources or others that want to help you. We all do make mistakes, but it happens for a reason to certain people. It is like a test to either succeed or fail, but you want to succeed and keep going forward. Make your own goal and follow until you get what you want in life and push, but also have fun.