Open hearts

I have tried to write about chapter s& change , or just things happening in current life, or situations that I have now lived through good & bad.

Or recognition s of people I have met ,

This chapter is different.

A few months ago, I was sitting in front of a lady, a professional lady.

On the wall we’re various posters.

She pointed to one & asked me, to in power myself & become a spokesperson to get out there how finical abuse, was so not understood.

In the realms of the law yes.

However most people don’t even recognise its happening to them.

The spectrum is huge & Ofcourse , all varied circumstances.

I am a survivor of financial abuse.

You heard that right,

Not victim, to start with yes.

I have been , broken, confused & alone.

But it was done, what could I now change?

As I write this, I haven’t pulled it all back & saying “hey you can do it”

I fell from grace on many levels.

I was ashamed mainly

As this actually is the third time it has happened!

So I really really had no idea how to explain to anyone it had happened (again)

I be the shame, cane first, then the deepest pain a person a human you shared your life with, had no conscience at all, that bit was the largest mountain.

So, these days, there are many organisations that are there, you really would not believe how many, they don’t help you get it back.

They walk a long journey with you , in simple ways & support, you start finding one company & then another lands on you & suddenly you are being wrapped in a protective blanket,

It really is a lonely place & I still have dark days.

I have said every

Prayer, gone on long walk s, tried to look at what I have got, not what I haven’t, that is a good thing to repeat if you can,

Everyone says it will get better- doesn’t that get to you when you aren’t feeling it?

I have made bad choices through this to .

I won’t be beaten, I can’t be & if anyone reads & reads this over, the answer s & goal posts move persistently.

My part is I have been incredibly generous, that’s my nature, so have to work on being a little more solid & learning boundaries.

I have written this as a start & I hope I will be some day be an spokes person , speaker, support team to guide & help anyone that also has felt the tunnel of darkness,

My next chapter is about another form of abuse, again a promise I made to this lady.

Take each day as it comes, that all you & I can do right now-look for that sunshine,

💓, and keep your Dreams.

Nine months I have stood standing, Isn’t that the moment you can award your self.

I also try & be thankful for every smile, I give or receive, for every person who has lent me money willingly & still not asked for it back, just having faith I will one day.

I say “ tomorrow a new day “

And if you feel you are in hell, walk like you own it .

Abuse can be a ghost subject , as the missing part is what is that abuse?

The positive is talking and living, I’m pretty sure that s why we are all here.

Never feel your alone, that’s how you feel- not how others see you.

We have to know the faith , that the universe has a life waiting for us out there!

The important part is- no one can take you, they can take everything but not. You 🙏🙏🥰. Longingly last, choose a mountain 🏔 climb every side of it., with a positive thought & each time the top of the mountain takes less to walk .

So with this story, somewhere , we all believe everyone is coping better.

Everyone of us has are problems, just in different places.

I have given a great above ( at my best) positivity.

It is definitely difficult when the punches keep coming.

Writing has helped.. helped me look away from myself a lot, getting stuck is usually the normal.

So I have written this for me, for anyone that chooses to read & also a growth of understanding people .. people as that s what we all just are ❤️