Not getting it right the first time

I know what it is like to feel pressured into just picking a major and rolling with it. However, if you are still in high school or considering pursuing a degree, ensure you take a reasonable amount of time with your options. I applied for college and Uni a couple of years ago and had no faith in myself. I didn't think I could pursue what I really wanted, and that was Fashion management. Instead, I chose what I thought was a safer, more "realistic" option (User Experience design).

I let my self-doubt get in between my passion. I let others convince me that a tech degree would be a much better option, both status-wise and financial-wise. And I agreed, even though I had done so much research on Fashion management and the salary range is actually pretty similar between the two.

I started my first year in UX and immediately fell behind. It was so draining for me. Each class was a nightmare. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of respect for the program, but I constantly felt like I didn't fit in, and I honestly didn't have the talent my fellow peers had. The fact that most of our classes were switched to being online because of the pandemic wasn't easy either. So I decided to restart and try again next year. And so I did, except the following year was even worse. Even though I got through the first semester, I fell apart in the second, and the pressure to just keep going really took a toll on my mental health.

And now, to the present, I've decided that no matter how often someone says that fashion and business aren't good career choices, I finally decided not to listen. I am happy to finally find the courage to pursue something I have been after for so long. And even if it's a struggle in the beginning, it'll be worth it.

I start my first semester in the fall, and I could not be more grateful if everything goes right. I'll graduate with a degree, three internships, and a diploma in 4-5 years. Toronto is a hub for fashion, and there are more opportunities out there than you think. So don't be disheartened, and do your research and due diligence before letting someone get to you. We only live once, and the last you want for yourself is a life filled with the what if's and regret.

Take the time to learn other skills. You never know what you'll discover about yourself. In case what you want to do is deemed unrealistic or not the best option financially, learning or trying to pick up different skills might help you find something worthwhile that won't make you miserable if you decide to study it.

It's never that serious. All you have to do is sort through all the noise. There are always so many options and solutions. Never let anyone tell you you aren't good enough, especially since we are constantly growing and learning new things. And when you are just 17, you yourself don't know what you could be capable of. So take your time and find out what's right for you.

And the moral of the story is that it's okay not to get it right on your first try. We have to fail in order to gain experience and clarity. I hope this reassures whoever is reading that there's no shame in failing and no shame in going after what you want, even if others don't approve.

If I can do it, you can do it.

With love,

a fellow happy failure (for now)