No New Me

I think we put too much pressure on ourselves. All the time. We think we need to look better, lose weight, gain weight, color our hair, be taller, look and act younger, be more grown up, get better grades, have more money, have more friends, be in love, have a better job, get a bigger house, and on and on and on. I think we all need a new start...one where we just be ourselves. Only worry about making ourselves feel happy and loved. Doesn't that sound amazing?

My wellness resolution is to let everything go. Everything. There will be no diets this year. No worrying about the grey hairs popping up. No worrying who thinks my clothes look like they are from five years ago. No worrying who thinks I talk too loud, who thinks that my laugh is annoying, who thinks I need to lose weight, who thinks my car is a lemon, who thinks my house isn't fancy enough or clean enough, ENOUGH!!!

How much pressure do you realize that you allow others to add to your life? Someone calls and or stops by and how often are you rushing around trying to make your house look a certain way? For who? I mean do you really care that it has been a week since you dusted? There were places to go and things to do and dusting just took a back seat. Is this dust really hurting anyone? I'm not saying let your home go so that you can get a spot on the next episode of hoarders, but what I am saying is this. If I am your friend and I come and see that there is a layer of dust on your furniture and trinkets, what do you think I am going to do or think? Do you think I am going to stop being friends with you because of some dust? That I will think less of you as a person? That it will stop me from coming in sitting down and having a nice conversation with you?

I really cant answer for the billions of people out there, but I can tell you that a little dust, a little mess, whatever isn't gonna stop me from being your friend. I wont think less of you. I will think that you had other things going on and that is perfectly fine. I hope you sat and watched a movie after a really rough day instead of cleaning. I hope you sat and helped the kids with their homework instead of cleaning. Maybe you and the love of your life had a romantic picnic on your cleaning day instead of cleaning. So i definitely say, LET IT GO.

I think especially as women we put too much stock into what others say and feel about us. I remember the PTA meetings and wondering if I wore the right outfit and if I was the only one who just covered up her grey hairs with dye that day or if I was gonna be the fattest person there. I also was afraid my voice was too loud. My parents have told me since forever that I am too loud. I don't want people to think I'm too loud. Then I thought, why don't you want people to think you are too loud? What's the worst that will happen? They wont want to talk to you? Well, sometimes that's a blessing in disguise. So I left it go. I talk and laugh how I want. I wear what I want, when I want. I do with my hair what I want. Sometimes that's dying it to cover up the greys, other times, I let that grey hair sparkle and shine out for all the world to see. I left it go.

I've been overweight since i was 4. I'm working on almost 40 years with a bigger body. It is a shame that it has taken me this long to learn to love it and not hide it. I used to be worried I would be the biggest person somewhere. What were people going to think? Going to say? There were times I didn't attend things because I didn't want to be bullied, embarrassed or embarrass my kid. Why? If someone looked at me and judged me only for my appearance, why would I even care if that kind of person liked me? I mean sure, I'm fat, but you are a grown adult making fun of someone just based on appearance, so I'm really not losing anything by not making you happy with the way that I look. But my hiding away, not attending things or being my true authentic self was hurting me. I was making myself miserable. And for what? To make sure I didn't make someone else uncomfortable....what a load of bs. So I let it go.

Let it all go. The best way to be well is to be you. To be you is only something you can do and know. No one can tell you what to eat, listen to, watch, wear, do, be, none of it. You know what makes you feel good, what makes your body feel good. So do that. Whatever that may be. Who cares if you are loud, or shy. If you have grey hair or no hair. Who cares if you are fat or thin? Who cares if you wear clothes you wore in high school or clothes off the run way straight from fashion week? Who cares if you make 7 figures or minimum wage? If your house is a cardboard box or a mansion. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are lots of people who care. Some care only because they will judge you based off of these things and I'm saying to you, let it go. Let them go. Be you. Authentic you. No one else can be that. If someone cant handle you at 100 percent, do they really deserve to be someone who you care what they think?

I'm saying to be well we need to be us. However and whatever that looks like, sounds like, feels it, moves like, and is. We only get one time to do anything. So would you rather be worried about cleaning, working, if you have the right clothes on, or live in the perfect house with all the money in the world, or would you rather laugh, smile, hug, kiss, eat, dance, run, talk, sing and love? I don't know about you but I would rather sing in my dusty house with old sweatpants on and my grey hair shimmering everywhere, with my big body jiggling from dancing then care what so and so is gonna say if they see me like that. So my wellness regime has changed. Not to be the best version of me for the world to enjoy, but to be the best version of me, for me. Wont you join me?