No More New Year

2020 had so many surprises, mysteries, ups and downs, disappointments, heartaches and breaks, so 2021 has to be better, doesn't it? That's just it... it doesn't.

The new year doesn't promise us anything. Never are we told we will have better luck, more money, or a body worthy of the magazines we look at. We aren't guaranteed that we wont lose someone we love, that friends wont become foes or foes our new friends. Yet every new year we gather and hope and wish that this year is "our" year. We aren't even sure that a singular day will be good, so why would we think we could do something about an entire year?

Hope is defined as, " a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen." We've been taught not to expect because it leads to disappointment though...yet here we are year after year, hope and expectations flying high. My wish for 2021 is for everyone to never have another new years resolution.

You heard me. Never. Some are asking why right now, while others are probably thinking, you cant tell me what to do. Hear me out. I don't want you to count your life in years. I don't want to hear 2020 was horrible. Was all of 2020 horrible? Every single day? Every hour? Every minute? Every second? I highly doubt it. So, I'm asking you to look for the good IN EVERY DAY.

No more Happy New Year. Happy New Day!!! Why? Really, that's all we have. Not tomorrow, not yesterday, but today. We don't know if we will make it to tomorrow, do we? No. We cant go back and fix or do over yesterday can we? No. So why not wake up every day and make it as happy and as hopeful as we make the one night a year?

Every day is a new start. It doesn't matter what happened yesterday or a week ago, last year, 5 years ago or 50 years ago. We have the chance to change our mindset every day we wake up to give it another go.

I understand why that would seem so easy and so difficult at the same time. Yesterday could've been a shit show. Your car broke down, you don't have money to fix it, a check bounced, the love of your life broke up with you and your dog ran away. So, now you're wondering how do you think I'm supposed to wake up today and make it hopeful? Well, you said the most important thing in the question that was asked....When I WAKE up. You might have not woke up at all. Illnesses happen, so do accidents. An aneurysm is usually never detected and most likely fatal. Doesn't matter age, sex, health condition, weight, height, literally anyone can have one at anytime and poof...you're no longer here to be worried about your car, money, lover or dog.

If you are alive, then you still have a chance to make anything happen, right? Yep. You could get up, moan and groan about what a horrible day yesterday was and approach this new day with all the anger and sadness you could possibly muster. You could be feeling worthless, and unloved. Maybe you snap at everyone you talk to. You're miserable, so why shouldn't they be. Or better yet, why isn't everyone having me a pity party? Why doesn't my neighbor have the same bad luck I do? Why does everyone else seem to get what they want without lifting a finger? Well, I cant answer any of that. I cant. I'm not you, or your situation or your neighbor, family, friends, coworkers, lover, dog, so on and so forth. What I can tell you is my experience.

I've always been a hopeful person. Thought something would magically happen new years, when I grew up, when I had my own place, when I fell in love, when I had kids...I do hope someone out there just read that and laughed. Well, all that has happened to me folks and guess what? There were some magical moments there, mixed in with a lot of moments I could have done without or would have liked to not remember. That's life. I really don't think you are ever going to have an entire year where everything goes your way, exactly how you want it. Sorry. If you are waiting on that, then I do wish you the very best, but this is why I say no more waiting for this or that for things to turn around.

I say no more waiting because you will be waiting for forever. Then one day you will look back and hopefully be at a ripe old age, but with regrets or full of anger for the things that never happened.

Make everyday that new years celebration. You woke up. Yay! You have food to eat. Yay! You have shelter. Yay! Everything else is manageable. Everything else is going to go how you will decide it goes. Yes, you. You get to decide. Maybe your car broke down because if you had kept driving it, a brake line would've went out of it, then you would've had an accident and killed another person. Maybe the check bounced because you needed see that the money wasn't in your account because someone hacked your credit card and the bank didn't catch it. Maybe your lover left you because they were cheating on you this whole time and left you for their new flavor of the week. Maybe your dog ran away because he just wanted to run free for a little. He is a wild animal after all and likes to feel the wind in his fur. Or maybe it all was seriously just a run of not so great events. Either way, its gonna be how you react that makes all the difference.

The car is gone, so maybe you start walking, lose some unwanted pounds that you have been meaning to. Maybe you have to start car pooling and meet a really great new friend in the process. Maybe the check bounced and now you are more aware of what you spend money on and you found a couple subscriptions that you no longer even use that you were still paying for, so now that's more money in your pocket than before. Maybe it bounced and you had to go to the bank and the person that helped you was kinda cute and asked you out. Maybe the lover leaving was so you didn't stay with someone who cheats and they are no longer there to give you a disease that they may have if they stayed. Maybe they left and now you have more time for you after work and you start taking that art class, music class or hit the gym and become more satisfied than you ever were with them by your side. Maybe the dog ran off, found some flowers bit some off, brought em home and you think, who needs a lover when the dog brings me flowers. Maybe the dog ran off and a kid who has a horrible homelife found him and now the kid has something to look forward to, someone to talk to and protect them. There is literally thousands of things it could mean and thousands of things that could happen. It just is what it is.

Is your car, money, another person, or your dog the thing that brings you happiness? I mean literally the only thing that brings you happiness? I hope not. Are any of those things the things that make you, well, you? Again, I hope not. So what makes you, you? Surely not a new year then. Or a date. Or a day. Or a bad moment in a day.

All I'm saying is, try to find the good in every DAY. Every single day. Look forward to the next one. If there were a few that weren't the best, eventually one will come that makes you smile. I truly believe everything that comes to us or happens to us is a lesson or a blessing. So if something isn't going your way, then its probably a lesson. What do you think its trying to teach you? Show you? If its good, then its a blessing. Be in that moment. Think of these moments when you have the not so great moments. I think anyone reading this is old enough to realize that the great moments don't last forever, but neither do the bad ones. I also bet that if you think about it, your reaction to these said events have a lot to do with how the moment is.

So my wish for 2021 is that everyone, including myself, realize that even when it seems we are down and out, that we don't have to be broke down with our car, out of resources like our checking account, that even when people leave us, we are never alone and that sometimes being lost is exactly like being found. The excitement we have as we say 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...can literally be the same excitement we go into each day with. If that day didn't live up to the hype, we get another chance tomorrow. Who wants to wait for one night or year to get excited, when we have the choice to make everyday better than yesterday. Then when we look back, we wont need a whole new year to make us happy.