Navigating your 20's

When you reach 25 and begin approaching your 30s, the feeling of being lost and alone becomes ever more apparent—like an abandoned boat adrift at sea. Everything you once enjoyed in your early 20s, you now resent. Your friendship circle begins to change: some people are getting married, others are having children, and let’s not even begin with the horror stories of corporate life. Nothing makes sense.

For some, there’s a defining moment when you realise life will never be the same. For others, you simply wake up one day and think, “What the hell am I doing?” (I’m the latter). One day, I realised I didn’t like the direction my life was heading in—and I had absolutely no idea where I was going.

You go from being talented or creative—an A* student or someone with multiple degrees—to feeling like nothing. Every day feels the same. Life feels average. What happened? The drive and fire you once had has faded, and you barely have the energy to reply to messages, let alone socialise. When did life become so empty?

Even though you may have achieved so much, you still feel like a failure. As though it’s never enough. You spend countless days inside your head, trying to work out where you went wrong—and how to steer yourself back to shore. But you don’t have the answers. Truthfully, I don’t think anyone does. People often pretend they’ve got it all figured out, but deep down, I think they’re just as lost as I am.

I call it a quarter-life crisis—though even giving it a name feels like it downplays the serious issues going on in the world. Still, that nagging feeling that 'this can’t be all that life has to offer' grows stronger every day. I often find myself wishing I’d appreciated the small moments during my teenage years; wishing I would have been more present instead of constantly longing to be an adult. Well, I got my wish.

As a child, no one prepares you for adulthood—or what building a life actually involves. But perhaps that’s the beauty of it: the uncertainty, the effort, the mistakes, the fresh starts. Maybe the whole point of your 20s (and probably your 30s) is to figure things out along the way.

Rebuilding your life can feel daunting—like you’re venturing into the unknown alone. I think I’m just scared of trying something and failing. But surely anything is better than the feeling of a quarter-life crisis. The unlearning and unpacking you go through (often due to pain caused by others) can be ugly. Still, making some movement is better than standing still.

Take making friends as an adult, for example. One of the scariest things—at least in your mind. But what you might not realise is that the person you’re nervous to speak to probably feels the same way (or so I’ve heard). Since becoming an adult, I’ve avoided new friendships and experiences out of fear—but that needs to change.

Because as I grow older, the quote “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” is beginning to make more sense. I’d rather try and fail—knowing I gave it my all—than do nothing at all. I owe myself that. You owe yourself that.

At the end of the day, whenever something is rebuilt, the foundation is always stronger. It’s a long, often painful process—but the journey and the end result are always worth it.

I have no idea where I’m going, but I suppose I’ll have to wait and see what life has in store for me.

Signed, a '20-something' year old.