NaNoWriMo Boot Camp

November is NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) — the time of the year when all common sense goes out of the window and you try to write a novel in a month. Just for kicks. NaNoWriMo is great fun but it isn’t for the squeamish. If you’re serious about completing NaNoWriMo then you shouldn’t be reading this but, for what it’s worth, this is the method that works for me. Here are some quick tips and dirty tricks to help get you through the month.

Do the Math

50,000 words in a month. That’s only 1667 words per day — you can do that in an hour if you leave your inner editor at the door. You’re not “writing a novel”, you’re writing 50,000 words. Don’t panic at the thought of writing so much; break it down into manageable chunks. A great novel is something written by Dostoevsky. A NaNoWriMo novel is just 50,000 words. THAT’S ALL.

Are you a Tortoise or a Bunny?

Slow and steady wins the race, but hard and fast is also fun. Best not get hung up about this. You’re writing a novel, not having an orgasm. Aim to write 2,000 words per day as quickly as you can. If you want to polish and refine them throughout the day, knock yourself out. But once you’ve got your words done for the day, you’re clear. How you go about it and what you do afterwards is up to you.

Think Slowly, Type Quickly

Set your watch. Try to write 2,000 words in an hour without stopping. It’s the most fun you can have in an hour — short of drugs or fucking. Sit down and knock them out so fast that you don’t have time to think, edit or fuss over what you’re writing. Don’t stop until your time is up. Spend the rest of the day scribbling notes and getting ready for your next session. If it takes you all day to hit 2,000 words, TYPE FASTER.

Want to Increase Your Word Count? Lower Your Standards!

If you throw enough shit against the wall some of it will stick. These are words to live by if you’re a writer, or a monkey, and you have shit. Don’t press delete until December. If you write it wrong, just write it right next time. Pile them up. ‘Don’t get it right, get it written.’ No-one has to read your novel. Not even you. Take chances. Do something random. It’s ok to be crazy, absurd, and fun — but screw literature.

Lost the Plot?

Don’t get hung up on the plot. You’re just making a fix-up novel out of bits and pieces. You don’t even have to write them in the right order. Grab your story by the throat. Write whatever scares or excites you the most. Any time you think, “I can’t say that”, put it in. Keep your eye on the prize. You get across a pebbled beach fast if you focus on the sea, as you run, not by worrying about your poor feet.

Take Out Your Inner Editor

Your mind will come up with a billion excuses to stop writing and seductive things you could do instead. Whatever it says, it’s full of shit. Ignore it. Write anyway. If your inner editor gets in the way, write down what it says. Turn it into a character with a high squeaky voice and pink fluffy ears. Shoot it in the head. LAUGH! Then take it out to dinner. Promise to spend December, red pen in hand, demolishing your novel.

Do Your Time Like a Good Peon

If one day in a fit of madness you write 20,000 words — that’s great, but the very next day, you go back to writing 2,000 words. No days off. If you don’t have an hour, do it in 15-minute chunks. But at the very least put in your set minimum every day. Tell yourself whatever lies are necessary to keep your butt in the chair and you writing.

Don’t Obsess About What Pen You Should Use

Use whatever writing tools are to hand. I need three things: tea, a notebook, and an Alphasmart NEO. Tea’s essential, notebooks don’t die when you spill tea on them, and the trusty NEO is where I write a shitty first draft. If you don’t know why tea is important, you’re dead to me.

You Can’t Edit A Blank Page

The notebook is your friend. Scribble your surface anxiety in the notebook, all the mad stuff crowding your head. Include ideas for future scenes, lines of dialogue, botched first attempts, anything that might belong in the novel later but is in the way of what you need to write right now. That way you’ve already overcome the blank page before you sit down to write. Use them as a starting point for your next session.

Malfunction! Need Input!

Not sure what to write? Allow random input to decide. Write down your dreams, shuffle oblique strategies cards, roll dice, or pull in people and events from the world around you. Whatever comes up — just trust it and go with it. Write in silence. It’s hard for your muse to whisper in your ear if you’ve got headphones on. Write offline. Avoid the NaNoWriMo forums until you’re done writing. Get your virtual hugs later.

Back-Up Your Work

I know you’re smart enough to do this, but writing 50,000 words from scratch sucks, so backup to the point of paranoia and madness. I backup my NEO to Dropbox using an app called Alphasync. Keep a separate master document — a text file of your novel — to submit to NaNoWriMo when you verify your word count. Make multiple backups. Losing your work when some smug ass has already told you to backup is less fun than rewriting.

Back-Up Your Sense of Humour

Check your funny fuse. Give your novel a title that makes you laugh. I once called mine ‘Fuck You Inner Editor!’ Bludgeon to death anyone that tries to stop you from writing, with your novel, but only once you’ve verified your word count. NaNoWriMo’s meant to be fun. Who cares if the end product is a bit shitty? It’s compost. Look through it for green shoots in December. It could hold the start of something wonderful.

James Garside is an independent journalist, author, and travel writer. Join Chapter 23 for the inside track on all their creative projects and insights about life, work, and travel.