My NYR is to spend more time naked

I had never seen a naked 92-year-old before, but that is how I met Joe. Joe was the first guy I saw wandering around Sydney's busiest nudist beach. It was a rather odd moment. Joe was casually filling his water bottle up at a fountain right in front of me and I was trying to hide behind a Magazine Wolverine on the front cover. He took one look at me and burst out laughing.

Being naked wasn’t something I enjoyed. It could be pitch black and I would still feel uncomfortable. As my feet hit the sand I took in the hundreds of naked people all around me. Everybody seemed totally at ease. This wasn’t normal. I’d never seen people so relaxed and even more surprising was that there was women & men of all ages hanging out together. I had assumed the majority of the beach dwellers would be men over 60, looking for a young and attractive woman to perv on but this was completely different. It was like a normal beach, filled with a range of ages, colours & genders.

“Pretty awesome ain’t it?”

It was. Joe kindly invited me to meet his crew down by the seafront. I followed, still nervously using the magazine as a shield. I couldn’t stop staring. I’d never seen such a range of figures. All shapes and sizes co-exhibiting together in a glorious cocktail of mismatched figures. It was the exact opposite of what I had seen in my magazine. Everybody seemed happier than normal and yet all of their imperfections, scares & wrinkles were out for everyone to judge. As I sat down and introduced myself to Joe's group I put the magazine down.

The first question you will be asked when attending a Nudist beach, is what you there? At the time I was a self-help junkie. My mornings were spent reading self-improvement articles which had words like Alpha, Resilience and Apex in them. I’d workout, making a mental list of things I want to change, tighten or lift. I had a high pressured job where I’d work 6-7 days a week, earning a lot and partying hard and was miserable. I was always chasing. Nothing about me made the cut. On one particularly stressful morning, I came across an article about how a young guy had to boast his self-esteem by attending a weekly naturist group and was immediately intrigued by the idea. Which is why I ended up, butt naked, sharing a watermelon with Joe.

As I continued to share my experiences with the group I found there to be a lot of people who were like me. We now more than ever are pre-occupied with the attainment of the perfect life & lifestyle. Thomas Curran a perfectionist specialist from London regular gives talks about the growing levels of Perfectionism which he has stated is growing to an epidemic level.

“Perfectionism isn’t simply about striving to do your best. Instead, it involves a tendency to have frequent thoughts about achieving ideal standards coupled with relentless striving to reach unrealistic goals”

Perfectionism contributes to a host of psychological problems such as Anxiety, Depression and other personality disorders. It can encourage escapism behaviours like drugs and alcohol to alleviate the stress of trying to achieve.

When I moved back to the UK 6 months later I thought I had learnt enough to not let myself get into that state again. Then we had Lockdown. I was furloughed which meant I had ample time to re-evaluate my goals. Start a list of things I wanted to achieve and soon enough there I was doing nothing, yet constantly thinking about what I was not achieving. I was exhausted. Perfectionism can overwhelm you to the point you can’t do anything. So, I reached out. To several nudist centres across the UK and found people willing to share their experiences. Some people were just born to be naked. It’s when they are most comfortable. But then there was a huge portion of people who wanted to speak to me because they resonated with me.

“I wanted to be more comfortable in my skin. I had just recovered from a boob job, I had Botox and lip fillers and was still so uncomfortable. It was ridiculous. I heard that this could help, so I tried it and have never looked back”

Another person who was happy to share stated joining a nudist group had helped him recover from a divorce. He had turned to food to compensate for feeling alone in his marriage. When he discovered a local nudist group it had helped him with his self-confidence issues.

“It’s very difficult to feel self-conscious when presented with bodies of all shapes & sizes. You discover that the media doesn’t accurately depict reality. There is no perfection in human form, only variety & constant change with age & environment”

We are overwhelmed by a society that amplifies our imperfections. So, I did the only thing I could do. I spent 10 days butt naked. I placed a mirror in every room and regularly made notes on what I liked about my body. On the 7th day I was so comfortable I left my flat to check on the post and made it just outside my door before I remembered I needed clothing. I loved and hated it. Sometimes I liked my body, other times I criticized it. At the end of my ten days, I did feel lighter and more comfortable in my skin. Being naked does change your mentality. You may experience more of an impact sharing the experience with others but even on your own, it alters the way you think. It forces you to start addressing how you think about yourself. And that is the only change I’m making this year. It may seem odd to you, trust me, I never thought I’d be someone who promoted it.

At its core, perfectionism is perfecting at our self. Or, more precisely, perfecting an imperfect self. The hope that when you have achieved everything you think you want, people will see it, you on top of the mountain of your achievements and successes and think, wow, that girl, she means something. It’s a sad truth your entire happiness can be wrapped up in the idea of successes and I know it has left me on occasion feeling sad & hopeless.

Like all habits, this one will die hard but for now, I’m making small, creative and fun changes to my day to make sure that I make the most of my time in a way that suits me and not my unrealistic standard. The greatest gift we can give ourselves is to enjoy the time we have. To look at the beauty of the mountain, and not just focus solely on climbing to the top.