Momma

Momma taught me by action. As I interpret her actions, poise, and strength, I can see the shadow of lessons in her walk. There were so many lessons and blessings in her actions and desire. As I write, I testify in advance that even while things fell apart things fell together. It was those moments that brought us to this very time wherein we have the ability to change our perspective. A perspective that speaks to what it means to push through in the face of adversity and walk on in spite of it all.

As I interpret my momma's actions, I can remember more actions than words. I can see the true essence of her spirit speaking to my sister and me. Momma didn’t always use words to impart wisdom. She allowed space for my sister and I to interpret the world ourselves. I have extracted some messages through interpretation with the understanding that our actions speak louder than our words.

At a ripe young age, we would walk almost everywhere. While on the sidewalk we would take the inside and momma would walk closest to the street. While crossing the street she would grab our hands somewhat suspending us off the asphalt. As we made our way to the other side of the street she would release her grip and we would land somewhat back on our toes to make our way to the sidewalk and await her arrival.

I can now interpret and translate momma's actions as each action can be uncoded and reveal to us a lesson. Almost everywhere we would walk there was a hill. Going down the hills our legs would rejoice and we would be propelled to our destination. I gave each journey the equal chance of granting us the vitality to tread its incline upon return. Going up the hill was like eating a box of red, white, and blue thumbtacks and feeling them as they made it's way to the tendons in my ankles.

Up the hill, there were many moments in which to count me out. I borrowed a lot of oxygen and created somewhat of a healthy exchange. Often times my breath would generate enough oxygenated blood to keep me vital other times I was on autopilot testing the spirit, mind, and body. My calf muscle would become as balled-up fists sending warning signals to my brain. There were times when my legs wanted to run from underneath my torso and fall but, we kept moving. There were times when my legs didn't want to move and it crept to a slow halt like a car with four flat tires. But, we kept moving. Of course, momma granted us to rest and sometimes allowed us to jump on her back so our legs could breathe through the pours in our ankles. Soon we would get too big and the journey was ours to carry.

Momma taught us to keep walking and never get too weary. We walked and never fainted. We test drove our modern anckles and was protected every step of the way from dangers seen and unseen.

Life in this land would lend itself to the reality of being under the custodial care of my Dad and Step-Mom. I am very grateful that in this life I have a step-mom (who is turning her music up as I type these words) and signaling the strength of having the love of two moms. Also blessed to have a step-brother who has added to our collective experience.

While one mom (among many other lessons) taught me to walk by faith the other (my step momma) showed me to be prepared for the elements. My moms tag-teamed my development. I have two loving boss mommas, each doing their part to hold me in their love. Our shared experience wasn't easy but, it will stand the test of time because of both mommas and all the love in between.