Maybe she's born with it,

We've all seen them: the images, quizzes, and memes promising to give us some clarity or justification for who we are and why we are that way based on one thing alone: our Zodiac sign. Somehow, even though we've seen a million+1 of these doodles and depictions, we're still sucked into another one when it's presented. We want to see ourselves or see how others perceive us.

I am super guilty of this, but it's only natural.

There has always been this duality in my personality: I'm adventurous yet a total homebody. I'm carefree yet incredibly serious. I crave incredible experiences yet I hate to spend money. I'm a cusp baby; born between two signs and there has been a lot of confusion because of that.

So which two kitties in the picture above are me? Well none other than the Croc-donned Sagittarius and knife-wielding Capricorn... yeah things can get a little weird as a someone born on the cusp.

I was born at midnight on December 22nd, right as the carefree and adventurous Sagittarius of the 21st day turns into the money-driven and uptight Capricorn. Throughout my life, I have felt this genuine split. Sometimes my Sagittarius sign takes over like when I decided to study French and Italian instead of something like Chemistry or Engineering. Subsequently, I uprooted my American life to go study abroad in France and Italy during my Junior year at Penn State University. But my Capricorn side was ever-present as I compensated for studying Liberal Arts by completing not one but FOUR separate majors and graduating with honors from the Schreyer Honors College. It was almost as if I couldn't let my spontaneous and fun self get away with enjoying an adventurous life. I had to push myself to feel as successful as possible. There have been so many times that I have struggled internally between wanting to be this super wealthy person who pinches every penny and someone who genuinely gets to enjoy an abnormal life full of excitement like a true-born Sagittarius would dream of.

Sometimes my signs work together, and other times it is complete chaos and I'm stuck without any "success". My realistic/pessimistic Capricorn side doesn't let me dream my optimistic dreams and my Sagittarius side poo-poos my longing to work hard and find a highly successful career; then I am left at an impasse. They tear each other down... they distrust one another... they don't believe in the other's goals.

So I look at these depictions of the signs. To find myself. To look for a "sign" of what I should be doing. To see which sign I really align with. But that's the thing I've come to realize: I shouldn't have to deal with this internal struggle. It's me and my signs against the world, not any other way.

And when the dichotomy comes together, it's a blessed thing... like when I was awarded a prestigious Fulbright grant to live and work in Southern Italy. That experience was the PERFECT way for my two worlds to overlap. I felt successful, I felt free, I felt secure, I felt adventurous. The culmination of my hard work as a Sagittarius (following my dreams of living abroad and speaking foreign languages) and as a Capricorn (doing well in school, working three jobs while in school to save up a good amount of money) came together in this spectacular way that was almost too good to be true.

So my advice as a cusp baby? Harness the power of your signs. Find a way for them to overlap. Live in a way that makes your dichotomous soul feel successful: whatever that particular success looks like (it's different for everyone!) It's a special gift, use it wisely.