Make Your Day and Get Out of Your Way!

We must sometimes get out of our own way and take a risk. However, fear of failing, of being laughed at, disliked, or thought poorly of, may keep us from venturing into the unknown and from progressively building new talents, abilities, and life experiences.

Due to dread or anxiety about what could happen, we may oppose requests to try new locations and activities, to have a go or speak at an event. We may second-guess ourselves and create a "what if" scenario. Perhaps we are unclear what to say or do, are afraid of seeming silly, or are concerned about being humiliated.

Others, though, share same worries and concerns, and seeing someone else take a risk, refuse to get in their own way, and not worry too much about the possible repercussions might inspire and motivate them to try as well.

Others are generally thankful and supportive of individuals that try, so why not take a few positive steps, quit hi-jacking yourself, and embrace the chance to go outside of our comfort zone?

- Begin small. You progressively increase your confidence by taking one step at a time. Instead of agreeing to go out for supper at a lively, ultra-smart restaurant if you have social anxiety, why not start by going out for coffees and lunches during busy times of the day? Choose good methods to go at your own speed, design your own day, and get out of your own way!

- Get accustomed to meeting new people and going out with them. If you have a meeting, interview, or presentation, prepare a few bullet points and practice them in front of a mirror or with a small, supportive audience. Concentrate on the areas where you are doubtful.

- Pay attention to how you speak to yourself. We are typically our worst critics, berating ourselves in ways we would never talk to others. Instead, remind yourself that you can do it, that it's worthwhile, and that others aren't as interested or committed in what you do as you are; all of these things will help you overcome any early concerns and uncertainty.

- Focus on areas that feel neglected and could use some assistance. Use this chance to better your looks, your clothes, your image, your conversational abilities, or your knowledge. It may take some work, but your efforts will be rewarded by improving your life and making you feel more involved in the quality of your daily interactions.

- Stay up to speed on local news and popular TV series, making it easier to join discussions and connect with others. Or, to begin a discussion, ask folks 'tame' questions about their vacations or how they spend their time.

- Enlist the assistance of a supportive friend, family member, therapist, coach, or mentor, someone who is on your side and will cheer you on, sometimes celebrating your accomplishments, sometimes encourage you to keep going. Be open to that possibility and grateful for helpful criticism and recommendations. It might be shocking to realize how differently people view us than we see ourselves.

- Develop an inquisitive, interested attitude by doing something new and difficult every day, forcing you to think and move outside of your comfort zone. It may be as simple as taking a different route to work or preparing something new for supper. Consider how you may ignite a positive, intriguing, and involved attitude to life and see where it leads you.

- Appreciate chances to say "yes" to new experiences and connections. Even agreeing to undertake things that don't seem appealing at first might lead to unanticipated achievements and experiences. Using 'no' may also be beneficial if it prevents you from being overwhelmed and fatigued.

We cease worrying about how other people view us or how to make them happy when we get out of our own way. We get beyond seeking for the easy way out or justifications for not doing things. Going with the flow helps us to live in the present and be excited about trying something new. You can make your day if you get out of your own way!

Susan Leigh, Altrincham, Cheshire, South Manchester counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer, and media commentator, may assist with relationship concerns, stress management, assertiveness, and confidence. She works with individuals, couples, and corporations, as well as providing training and assistance.