Make Time to Listen

We are living in “insta” times. We consume daily news by sound-bite and headline and react by instinct without really taking time to think wholeistically about an issue before responding or forming an opinion. We like, love and express sympathy with what’s happening in our “friends” lives with the click of an icon; rarely having to make actual effort to really connect with them on an intimate level. After all, who has time for that. We’re busy documenting and sharing our own lives and opinions to share back, or following a favorite insta-celebrity living while admiring their insta-lifestyle and trying to get insta-fit by prepping insta-meals in our insta-pots.

Then we’re amazed to find out that there are problems in out world and we want insta-change.

In the midst of the social reawakening happening in the US, I often hear “both sides” accusing the other of not listening. I hear politicians very specifically say that they ARE listening. It still all sounds like noise sometimes though.

Then a thought came about my own life and career. I’m an opera singer. It’s a unique and historic music genre, which in recent years is really struggling with its own relevance and frankly survival as an art - none of which I’ll get into here.

I released my first recording during the COVID shutdown, and the video imbedded with this article is a bit about my own story of why releasing this particular song was important to me.

In talking with people about the song though, getting the word out, the general conversations went something like this, “I’m an opera singer” I’ll say. The other person may then mention how they like Pavarotti or Andrea Bocelli (who, as a side note, is NOT technically an opera singer, but ok I get what they mean). Sometimes the conversation gets a bit deeper, finally culminating in my favorite moment when they‘ll say something Like, “I don’t really like opera.”

I would usually just respond, “yes it’s not for everyone” and move on. However my husband began to ask a follow-up question that I found eventually led to transformative moments, “what is it about opera that you don’t like?” And people had no answer. They didn’t even know why they didn’t like it, and very often they admit they’d never even actually listened to an opera.

Others answered that it was because they don’t speak the languages being sung themselves, so they can’t relate; it becomes boring to them.

But Opera singing is about expressing emotion. It is the musical vocalization of fear, anger, loss, a broken heart, hope, love and victory.

My husband would also say that becoming a “fan” of opera requires a bit of commitment. You have to want to understand what it’s about. You have to have a cultural curiosity,and ultimately you have to want to truly open your mind to listening and empathy.

That can be difficult. It takes time, commitment, and vulnerability; a willingness to experience and share the emotions of the composer, director and singer.

People will often politely say after meeting me and chatting about opera that they’ll have to listen to some. I hope they do, because I can only imagine what we all can learn, grow, and change when we make time to listen to something new.

When we don’t need the words to necessarily make sense to us, but we listen on a deeper level to hear the hurt, grief, hope or desire whether from a composer, a stranger, a loved one or a community.

So in our insta-world, my insta-advice to anyone who wants to be an agent of positive change is simple. Make time to listen.