Make Peace with Your Past: Find the Good and Embrace the Lessons

Daughter of an alcoholic. Welfare Recipient. Young mother. Non-college attendees. Poor decision maker. A participant in an unhealthy relationship. Financial crisis. Dismissal.

All these statements have explained me. They also moved me to action, turning me into a perfectionist who excelled. However, they still weighed me down because I felt I had to always show that I was better than my past - better than the circumstances from which I came.

It took a lot of effort.

It took a lot of energy.

It was a burden.

I gained a lot of knowledge, built myself a great set of skills, and improved technology. I was successful on the outside, but on the inside I just felt like a cheater.

I have avoided events where the question of what college I attend could arise.

I avoided situations that would expose me to the company of highly educated people, fearing that their names would be beyond my comprehension and that I would appear foolish.

I have avoided discussions on any subject that I have not considered as a level of expertise in chatting.

I avoided talking about my history and my history.

Avoidance was a completely new skill - one that I could use with some skill. At one point I began to realize that the charts were not in line with my basic standards of honesty and integrity.

I began to see that the power I was putting into creating a negative image of myself took away my ability to live my life to the fullest.

I began to see that in order to move forward, I had to conform to my history, in order to bring out the best, to continue with the lessons I had learned, but to leave all the rubbish I had passed.

Good to love…

The kindness and generosity shown to me by strangers, neighbors, family and friends at a time when I was most in need. People don’t like me and believe in me when I don’t believe in myself. Few know my big, dark secrets and love me anyway.

Subjects such as…

Understanding that no matter how much you want something from someone else, the only person who has the power to control it - who can change it - is you.

Accepting the fact that when you blame other people for your health, nothing will ever get better.

Realizing that no matter how dire the situation may seem at present, one person survives, sometimes even thrives, in the most difficult of circumstances.

And…

What you believe about yourself and your limitations will be a fulfillment of prophecy.

Also, it doesn't matter how successful you seem to be unless you're sad.

As my view changed, so did my life. Today I accept who I am - all in me - good, bad and bad.

Thank you for all the experiences I have had.

I can see that I was more judgmental than anyone else.

I stopped believing that I should have hidden the past.

I gave up the notion that I was under “over.”

I gave up the notion that I was not good enough.

I'm not pretending anymore.

I freely shared and, in seeking my story, not only helped me but also helped others on their journey. It gives them the courage to share their truth, to stop hiding and to start living.

Identifying errors. Life student. A strong woman. Overcoming obstacles. You want to grow. Embracer the truth. These are the explanations I have added to the story of my life. The rich and dirty truth of my past makes for real success in my day.

Which of my points do you disagree with? Where in your life do you feel that you are being deceived? What difficult and painful lessons can you be thankful for today when you look at this new looking lens?

Think. Journal. Dig deeper and find answers. It is in this process - in fact - that you will find true happiness, success, and acceptance. That is where healing begins. Only then will you find peace