Love is Part lX

Grace and Glory

Allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Trashae Bradley. I am the author/creator of the incredibly marvelous Love Is Series.

I published the very first story in August of 2020 while sitting in a quaint little Airbnb in Las Vegas for my birthday during a world wide pandemic. I had no intentions on creating an actual series in the beginning. I was simply curating photoshoots then soon after, I felt guided to involve the women of the Midwest in a more meaningful way. Everything just took form on it’s own.

Rapidly, my creativity began to evolve and I suddenly felt called to continue to create these beautifully written pieces. What started off as something fun and playful for the summer, eventually shifted into something freeing and impactful on the people of the land. I have created a platform that gifts women an opportunity to express themselves. I would gather ladies of all walks of life and experiences to bring forth true liberation. I had no idea how big the series would become. I was unaware that Love Is was transforming from a simple concept into an entire movement.

I chose to be very intentionally with each story. Starting off with a specific theme or concept then orchestrating the photoshoots for each set and writing out a list of 15 to 20 questions for each woman to answer. I would wake up in the middle of the night or early in the rising to write down ideas that came to me in my dreams. I would sit in the shower with my eyes closed to vividly visualize the story coming to life. I would drive and imagine myself directing the photoshoot in my mental. It’s as if I was working with God directly to create these pieces. I would pray and meditate on which ladies to place together then I would utilize my intuition to feel my way through the chemistry that would be cultivated between them all if they were to be placed in one environment together. My intuition never failed me. For this I am grateful.

I am proud of Love Is and how far I’ve been able to take it with the help of the amazing people in this city. I am honored to have completed 9 stories in just 2 years. The amount of time, money, energy and love invested in this craft has been well worth it.

I’d like to utilize this time to take a trip down memory lane to express my own personal experience with the creation process of each individual story and what lessons I learned behind the scenes along this journey. You know, the story behind the story. It has certainly been an extravagant expedition. Thank you for being here.

I am . . .

THE STORYTELLER

Love is Part 1: What if God is a Wom(b)an?

I’d just arrived back to Kansas City from Atlanta and I was feeling like my most authentic self. The happiness, joy and vibrant energy of the south was overflowing within my being and I felt a desire to share and create.

I reached out to Ashton Farris, owner/CEO of AO management in Kansas City. A multi-millionaire in the making. She manages models and provides opportunities for women in the Midwest. I asked her if I could incorporate a few of her models in an outdoor photoshoot to bring a vision I had in my mind to life. I explained the concept to her and then she sent me photos of the ladies she thought would be a good fit. She understood the assignment.

During the shoot we played Jhene Aiko’s Chilombo album. Half naked amongst the trees and the summer sun. Looking around me I could feel the essence of Kansas City again. It felt good to be back. It felt good to be around women who are all so youthful. Learning and growing in the same ways I was at that time. There were moments of laughter and great visuals captured.

The second portion was more of a heartfelt experience for me as I reconnected with friends that I’d built closer bonds with before I moved to ATL. It was nostalgic to reunite with them and pose fully naked in flesh to flesh poses. I really wanted to highlight different skin tones and body types in this shoot to showcase diversity and how all bodies are loveable and perfect just the way they are. It was during this shoot that I realized I had to do more with the photos. There had to be a story portion to coincide with the visuals to paint a picture for the readers in a way that hasn’t really been done before . I seen growth in this group of women and I wanted to give them a chance to express that growth in words . I combined all the photos from each shoot and created a story out of it.

During this phase of my life I felt so free and young. So ambitious and full of energy due to all the previous lessons and soul work I did while living out south. My massage business took off. I was working out hardcore at Powerhouse and I was feeling well loved, held and supported by my family and my community. I could feel how radiant my light was to others. I had to share it. This is how Love is came about.

Love is Part ll: Tales of the Divine Feminine

It was during the creation of this particular story that I realized what I was doing was meaningful. Everything flowed so beautifully. I hired Micah Thompson because of his eye for detail and his love for photography. He captured my visions perfectly and with ease. The photos from this story turned out to be more stunning than I’d expected. We truly called upon the essence of our orisha goddess’s and allowed them to channel through us to create a purposeful piece.

During this time I was learning how to stand in my power and how to honor my skills and talents. I was becoming more open to socializing and connecting/collaborating with others after such a very long period of isolation and solitude. I had to re-discover what it means to be independent while still knowing how to seek council when in need of clarity or comfort as well as when to ask for help when in need of strength and support .

Through this story I discovered friendship. The importance of having a safe space and feminine dynamics that present themselves to help deepen my healing. Connections that guide me to do “the work”. The root work. The works of the mighty heart and the everlasting soul.

I had an opportunity to explore what setting new boundaries with others would look like and what happens when I step into my light fully instead of hiding and avoiding or resisting my own capacity. I learned that it’s okay to love myself. I was shown that it is okay to also let others love me too. Vulnerability is sexy.

Love is Part lll: The Lavish Legends

Love is Part 3 is my favorite story out of the entire series. Creating this caused a shift within myself and the collective overall. I spent weeks trying to align the right women together. My intentions for this required me to go into deep states of meditation with lots of journaling and praying for the story to become a masterpiece. Channelling the legends was a task. I made sure that I invoked them respectfully through ritual.

Kouree Givens really expanded my heart and encouraged me to level up with Love Is. She came through with her camera and recorded the entire creation process. She even made the magazine covers (which is not what I originally planned). All of the ladies were so helpful and supportive of one another. We were smiling and clapping for eachother. The ladies helped eachother with poses and spoke life into one another. The joy was immense. The power of the women we were channeling was intense ! They were all there with us! Josephine Baker, Aretha Franklin, Frida Kahlo, Lena Horne, Dorothy Dandridge and of course the marvelous Marilyn Monroe were all present with us during the photoshoot. They became us as we invoked them and I cannot explain in words how powerful the creation process was.

After the story was written, it took Kouree some time to get the video of the shoot back to me. She’s a busy woman. A mom, a bo$$ and a genius. I was patient which is rare for me. Once she sent the video to me I cried. Seeing myself in director mode and replaying everyone’s reaction to one another was so heart warming. To see my creation come to life in such a way ignited me forever. It was in that moment that I knew Love Is was and has never been about me. I created this series to give women a voice and a platform to be honest and raw. It was because of this story that I felt the seriousness of my visionary qualities and how valuable my gift of creating and curating is . Especially in a city where nothing like this is being done. I am the Gracious Gamechanger but I wouldn’t be who and where I am without the powerful women beside, behind and in front of me. Love is Part 3 was the true definition of what love should be.

Love is Part lV: The Heart of The Divine Masculine

I have never felt grief or true sorrow before until the death of Gary Taylor Jr.

My original idea for this story was to have 5 men that I felt had a story in them to share. All of my pieces have been about women so I imagined how interesting it would be to incorporate men and have them speak their truth.

It didn’t work out.

I spent months planning and preparing but absolutely nothing went according to plan. All of the men went silent on me and cut off communication. The photoshoot was not what I originally envisioned but I had to work with what I had as well as the resources and time available. So I guess you can say that the photoshoot process was very much ghetto, last minute and low budget but I was emotionally going through a lot at the time trying to balance out too many different areas of my private life while still wanting and feeling the need to create something to share with the people because it is what I love most.

Without male participants I had no choice but to become the male models I was seeking. I dressed up like Gary and Huey P Newton because those two men are my heroes and inspiration when it comes to war, love , power, strength , dedication and the ability to speak truth and be truth. I somehow managed to easily persuade the men in my family to partake in the shoot and to come to my home armed up and ready for WAR . . . on Christmas day while bumpin’ Public Enemy and NWA.

The power. My uncles came in with militia weapons half the size of my body. My older brother and my younger brother came strapped and prepared also. I had my Katana sword to keep it classy. I have never felt so loved, protected and seen before in my life by my family. I felt like I had caused a shift for my lineage by bringing all my men together to let them know that I hear them and that they are loved by me. I got my men together. They didn’t resist or complain. They immediately accepted my invitation which is something that has never happened before. They came properly dressed with open hearts, minds and belief in my vision. That brought the story out of me. I let my inner child write the first portion of the tale.

I had to write this and be the voice for my black men who , throughout time, have been taught to SHOW UP but SILENTLY. Black men have forgotten how to use their voices. So I became the voice of the men I love. My uncles , my brothers , my cousins and father. I became Gary’s voice because he gave me everything I needed to share a piece of him with the world.

I was sick in bed while writing Gary’s story. I can’t express how much I cried and curled into a ball to hold myself from having to re-live his death over and over just to get the right words to flow. The love in my heart was equivalent to the amount of sorrow I felt. I began to feel angry and frustrated. I even questioned god and my very own existence because it didn’t make sense why someone so pure hearted would be extracted from his flesh so soon and in such a way .

I had to come back down to reality and out of the ethers. I had to use my mind and let my heart guide me without bleeding all over the story. I had to let Gary channel through me. Throughout the process, he reassured me that it was okay to let go and that life truly does go on. That it is up to me to make my dreams come true and that whatever I do, don’t forget about the kids. The children are what we do it for. We live for them. We die for them. Just like Gary lived for us. Then died for us. The circle of life is equivalent to the circle of love. Love and life never dies, only takes on new form.

Love is Part V: The Ancient Egyptians

During this time I was in a very strange and unfamiliar place. Space and time didn’t exist. Good and evil began to look and feel the same, existing and thriving on the same plane. I was lacking discernment and going through so many different trials and tests from spirit to see how much I’ve actually learned from my previous experiences. I was learning how to hone in on my gifts and skills so that they can be utilized for the greater good.

My connection to the feminine energy was at the forefront of my life again. I was given an opportunity to re-evaluate friendships, my relationship to my mother, my intimate dynamics with women as well as my connection to my own feminine nature and womb.

Spiritually, this was the most high-vibrational story due to the women I incorporated and the energy of the ancient Egyptians. Natasha’s written portion is by far the most proufound and beautifully written piece I’ve read so far. Her ability to convey her thoughts, emotions and experience really moved me.

Through my feminine connections I was revealed the reflections of my wounded inner child which put me in an energy of wanting to hold them. Instead , I have chosen to hold myself .

Love is Part Vl: Vivacious Vixens: Valentines Day Edition

Affliction has a tendency to bring out the truest truths. I was faced with the reality of my own love cycles and how I’ve been trauma bonding with mirror reflections, mere lessons, and mistaking them for life long lovers.

Through this group of ladies I discovered how easy it is to place love with another human over the love we have for ourselves. I could see how lost I personally become when I get struck with Cupid’s arrow. Love sometimes blinds me and all common sense goes out the window. It was during this time that I had to remember that I am a woman of royalty and I deserve a love that is built on a foundation of honor, integrity, respect, trust and freedom.

I was learning how to love someone from a place of non-attatchment. I had to remove myself from the physical situation to find solitude to view it from a divine perspective. As much as I wanted to be angry, frustrated, sad, and even spiteful, I chose peace instead. My own peace. I chose to boss up and take a chance on myself without depending on another person to make me feel whole, validated, seen or loved. I was learning to do all of those things for myself because home is where the heart is and as long as my own heart has a beat, I know I will always be well loved . I forgive others for not knowing how to love me. I forgive myself for not knowing how I deserve to be loved. I learned to stop losing my soul for people still searching for theirs.

Love is Part Vll: Euphoria: Brown Girl Edition

The spirit of confusion was close by during this phase of my life. The Euphoria series is genius so to re-create it really ignited and sparked my imagination and artistry. I knew I was meant to play Maddy because in real life, I reflect her personality and storyline the most. Along with Rue’s anger and love of escapism and Cat’s sultry sex appeal . Euphoria is genius.

My life was feeling intense and overwhelming during this chapter of my life. I didn’t know who to trust and all of my responsibilities and priorities were at the forefront of my mental. In my daily morning meditations and late night dreams, I felt the pressure from the demands of my lifestyle. Friends were morphing into enemies at a rapid speed. Secrets were being revealed weekly. My business was taking on a new direction and I felt overwhelmed with the call to duty I received to level up financially and socially. I never knew what to eat so I was losing weight like crazy. I was unhappy with myself. By feeling this way, I was naturally attracting and aligning with all things that were on the frequency of dissatisfaction.

I felt embarrassed for having flaws. Everyone could see my insecurities that I’ve programmed myself to hide so well. I felt exposed. I’m not perfect and I don’t have it all together. The cracks in my foundation could be seen a mile away and I needed support. I needed to re-connect and rediscover who I truly am outside of who I had to become to fit everyone’s idea of perfection and success.

I must say though, that this is my favorite written portion of mine . I didn’t hold back. I felt BOLD and BRAVE. When I re-read my section, I chuckle at how scandalous and edgy my life has been. How vulgar yet intimate my words are. I smile and wonder if he read it . If he felt honored or attacked and publicly embarrassed although I didn’t and would never mention his legal name.

I became a critic of my own work. Thinking that the story wasn’t good enough or that it wouldn’t be appreciated or that I overshared too much of myself. I began to get discouraged about Love Is because it was actually starting to reveal to me real life issues that I didn’t want to see or heal immediately . It is through my writings that I was able to be honest and direct with myself. Through this story I was met with the woman I am becoming and the woman I have to release in order to become HER.

Love is Part Vlll: The Majestic Mystics

I’m a natural leader. Sometimes easily led astray. I am always reinventing myself. Looking for something or someone new. Always in need of extravagent adventure or 4 months of extreme solitude. I am grounded in my own energy and I am seeker and responder to the truth. I am divinity and destruction. The peaceful calm and the corruption. I’m bound to reveal you, to you.

Reflections.

My shadow has been seeking a love that I’ve deprived it of for so long. Thirsty for acknowledgement and recognition for being my sensei of the night. This story speaks on what was happening in the land and what was occurring within the spirits of the collective . A battle with self. Light and Shadow. One cease to exist without the other so why must we choose between the two to see who’s really the “good” guy when we need both polarities to understand life?

The creation process for this story started off beautifully and then turned into a hot ass mess expeditiously. I allowed my co-writer Natasha Beauchamp to set the theme for the story and from that point on I became so excited and filled with ideas , my ego began to take over. I was losing control over the flow by trying to incorporate more people, concepts and ideas into a piece that had basically already crafted itself.

I seen the aspects of myself that still seek to control and be perfect. The part of myself that believes my way is the only way because that’s how it’s always been. I can be so rigid. I discovered my need to always be the boss or assert my dominance when it comes to my personal connections.

Throughout this phase of my journey I learned to honor my morals, values and beliefs but to not discredit the morals, values and beliefs of another. I was learning to be more open minded and to allow others to help, teach or guide me. I had to allow myself to experience true joy and laughter. Playfulness and child-like glee. I even began eating sweets to sweeten my super serious, faultless perfection seeking self in order to awaken a more lighthearted, gentle spirited side of me. I learned to just slow down and let the universe surprise me because whatever is meant to be will be. True freedom comes when you truly surrender. Allow your light and your shadow to exist together harmoniously.

Love is Part lX: The Final Act

There is something so special about Kansas City. Something that can’t be explained in words. It is my womb but it is not my forever home.

I have unraveled so many layers of self by writing about each phase of my experience and reading the expressions of the brave women who were willing to bare their souls for the sake of liberation. Throughout these 9 beautiful stories, I’ve been able to witness my own blossom. I’ve documented my own growth. I get to go back and read words from every chapter of my experience from June of 2020 to June of 2022 and it turns out that my life really is a never ending love story.

It’s time that I write my own. Unfortunately, the fullness of my life’s story cannot be told through my blog series for free. You’re going to have to buy my book August 2023. My souls work ain’t cheap.

I strive so hard to help everyone else break free. Instead of focusing on survival, I’m learning to just be. The tests I have endured have become my testimony.

I hope that through reading each story in this series you have begun to clearly see that love is you, and that love is me.