Love is Not Easy

I cannot put into words the thoughts I have about love. Love is like a congealed space that I can’t get out of. You can call it a roller coaster because it is exactly what it is. It is hard for females to find “the right one” or their one “true love.” A lot of females can compare with this kind of feeling because it happens with us. I’ve heard it from countless of women that they can’t find the right one to settle down with and when they settle down, they find themselves stuck in a whirlwind. I was once in this whirlwind. I just got out of it, he showed me that he could support me emotionally, physically, and I thought financially. I guess that was the honeymoon phase of our relationship. As months gone by, he became distant and when you become distant emotionally, you become distant sexually. People always tell me that sex is very important in a strong relationship. I never knew what they meant by that until I went into a relationship. Our sex was good and he was very selfless in bed and got off on pleasing me. When things started getting distant with us was when the sex got distant. It was more of him gaining dominance than it was pleasing. It did please me but for the wrong reasons. Our relationship became very distant to where he was sleeping on the floor rather than sleep near me. The question I had to ask myself was: if it was really worth it? My best friend had told me to end it before it gets worse. I didn’t listen to her. I should’ve listened to her advice long time ago. Adults are like kids at times, when we were little, we were told to do something and then we do the opposite. That was what I did, my best friend gave me the advice that was on point and I did the opposite. I had to learn from my mistake, I guess. When I was in this relationship, I didn’t see my beauty. Not just my appearance but my inner beauty. My lavender flower was close to deteriorating. It takes a while to deal with heartbreaks. You find someone who is far better than the last and wonder if you want to pursue something with them, I’d say no.

Rebounds are the worst when getting over the other person. You are just making yourself feel worse in the end. When you are done with a relationship you got to know how to feel selfish or act selfish. People think it is the worst thing to do in society. We have to learn how to be giving and generous so that we can help the unfortunate with their problems. Some people give to be generous. A lot of people give to be selfish. For example, someone gives because they feel sympathy towards the other person, like, a person giving to the homeless. There are a lot of people who give and expect something in return, like a typical man or woman. They give just to give in some cases, but most cases they want something in return. They say it would be a two-way street. What I am trying to get at is that when you go into the rebound sex or rebound relationship; you go in thinking that it will be a selfish act but it is really just being selfless. Attention boys and girls! IT IS NOT BEING SELFISH BUT BEING SELFLESS. Here is why, before rebound sex had to be announced to society like “oh it is rebound sex, I am just her/his rebound” but now it is like more out there and more people know what the word ‘rebound’ is. People think when pursuing the rebound they think the other person wouldn’t know it is a rebound unless they established it with the rebound. Let me tell you this, that the rebound does know that they are a rebound and you are not hiding anything from them. So, when you think that you are going to make that rebound feel bad, you got it all wrong. In the end, you are making yourself feel bad and the rebound feel good. That is why everybody says do not get a rebound ever in your life. Grieve without sex ladies, especially ladies because grieving with sex is being selfless and you need to finally be selfish in your life. You spend a long time in a relationship being selfless; you need to be selfish. My advice is: IT IS OKAY TO BE SELFISH LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Self-worth and self-care are what people need to work on and they can’t work on it when worrying about the other partner right? So rebound is not the way to go!

The biggest solution that always worked for me is having an outlet. To have an outlet a person needs to find out what they enjoy doing in the daily. For me, it is obviously writing. I like writing poetry, articles, and short stories. Writing has always been a passion for me since I was in middle school, so it is easy to say what my hobby and passion is. I can write endless words and I’m just stuck in this trance that I can’t get out of, but it is a good thing because I can escape from the real world of heartbreak. Find your hobby that makes you feel like that. I am sure you will push through multiple heartbreaks which made you feel vulnerable. Find a passion that makes you feel invincible. Heartbreak can come and go in life that makes you feel like the bottomless pit of anything, but if you find that escape to relieve you from that bottomless pit then you will find that in that world you escaped to is your own world that makes you feel worthy. Find your world that makes you know your self-worth.